Day: September 4, 2023

First time I missed hitting the publish button in a while. Turns out ‘coming back to myself’ is taking longer than it ought to. I spent today doing the last of the fantasy drafting, writing through a project, and really just sitting around. I have not touched Madden in almost a week. I haven’t touched the Xbox at all in that time. I still play quite a lot of pokemon, but that is quick and a needed distraction from the work. Ahh… the work. Today I sent the following announcement:

Multiple students have requested to change their moments. You are always welcome to change moments if you don’t feel the moment is sufficient to the task. Remember to be extremely specific in your moments when crafting this essay. Don’t rely on ChatGPT to craft moments that feel like you lived them. It isn’t very good at that, it will show in the essay, and you will fail, because you didn’t do what you were asked to do.

I am living in the ChatGPT world now. They realize as they move through the process that they need to start using it earlier in the process. The lazy just is too much for me to love. In fact, it isn’t even lazy. It is a complete disregard for the value of the work being done. Why do it if I can put the prompt in the chatgpt and it spits out an essay. Except it doesn’t. At least not a good one for this topic. It spits out a bit of fluff that is nondescript and falls under the category of easily replicated. Fortunately, I can just fail them for that. That makes my life easier too.

I wish students wanted to learn more. I wish knowledge actually held value beyond, “what will help me make money easy and fast.” Here people just want the basics they need to get into a job or get through this course so they can get to the next one and the next one untli they are done and have the credentials. The society is less fun than it once was in that sense. I wish it were better.

Coming back into myself over the last week. A lot has happened for me personally, for my family, with the writing, etc. It feels like I needed to step away from all of it and see the ocean to reset. Did that. Drove back home through what is now being called a year’s worth of rain for parts of California. It rained so hard they shut down burning man. Rain is cleansing. Moving from the beach through the heavy storm and back into the desert was cleansing. It served as a reminder of passage and the temporary nature of what I am doing here and why I am here.

I am here to be a supportive dad for my boys. That means watching their games. That means keeping a roof over the older one’s heads so they can work and build a nest egg of income. I am here to make money so we can live the lifestyle we want to live as a couple. That means teaching classes and staying on top of the writing deadlines. I have to learn how to stay locked in on the goals whilst here and in the mode of work, so I can go hard on the mode of… not work.

I also need to work on balance within the day. I have to have outlets I enjoy but don’t ruin me. I spent the past week so mad at Madden that it impacted other areas of my life. Madden doesn’t matter, obviously, but when you want a win and all you get is hard loss, it is not fun. It feels defeating and adds to the stress.

Some Thoughts:

1. So much football to be talked come Wednesday. I have stuff on for all levels from Fantasy draft to Coach prime to high school varsity to freshman. Much coming in a few days. Not sure ten will hold it.