count this as another day of not knowing what to say. I’m drowning in a sense. I’m treading water in another. I’m grinding in a third. All of this movement swirls around moving towards the first day of classes and trying to settle back into the home space and a daily routine. I haven’t settled in or finished classes or really been able to feel like I’m getting where I need to be. Occasionally I have these bright flashes of story but I haven’t stopped to write any of it down. This is the drowning.
Where I am treading water is in the physical. I’m not progressing and I’m not falling backwards as fast as I probably could be. It is a loosing battle right now, because I cannot tread water forever no more than I can hold my breath forever. I need a bouy to hold on to. I need a fixture that gets me through.
The same can be said for the idea of teaching, which remains the sole area in which progress is actually moving forward. Not quickly. Not enough. Moving nevertheless. Gotta keep moving and planning and grinding on in order to get to the place where on feel on top of things.