Month: October 2025

This is a 6 am edition of the ten minute rule, because my dog woke me up at 4 in the morning because the Amazon driver was at the door dropping off a package that I’d completely forgotten I’d ordered and had no idea was an overnight delivery. It was a new harness for said dog, bringing this entire thing full circle. Welcome to my life. It isn’t as hard as some. It isn’t as easy as others. It has frills, and occasionally those frills cost me time and sleep.

I’m awake now though. Still. I abandoned the bed an hour after trying to return, because the Lady Talis could feel every toss and turn and, provided access to a shiv, might have killed me. I would have accepted my death on the spot. That’s fair. So, I left. So, I’m here. I did homework for a while, played pokemon online, read a few articles about football and a few more about how Trump is going to ruin the USA (too late, btw, he already accelerated our downfall tenfold). All of that put me in a proper mind to recognize the constant despair that is the daily life here.

I live in a culdesac. The people in this culdesac are largely retired. They are in the twilight of their lives. The ones that aren’t don’t leave their homes during daylight hours. I am not suggesting they are vampires. They could just have really nice backyards. My kids (who still live here) also do not leave. Everyone in this area seems content with where they are, as if this is the destination and the journey is over. I don’t feel like that. I feel like I’m stuck in neutral here. Maybe everyone else feels that and just accepts it. I’m not here for that.

I am not sure what I’m really here for at this point. It is a daily grind that results in a paycheck to continue the daily grind. Perhaps its time to go grind elsewhere, and find that life can flourish outside of grind… definitely seems to flourish outside of here.

Recently I began compiling all of my ‘On Writing’ posts into a singular file and processing them through Chat GPT to find ‘themes’. The goal here is to take another step towards writing my book on writing. No, I’m not successful enough to sell it. That doesn’t meant that I won’t try. There is a robust book economy out there on amazon that might earn me fifteen or twenty bucks for getting my thoughts together. Once I can get it all organized and laid out, I think there is enough there to start to build on those core ideas and posts to develop what I am ultimately after: A foundational guide on developing a writing life. This guide is probably going to have levels/sequels. I don’t think there is one writing life. I think it is modular and based on the time you have to devote to that sort of life. I don’t work at the level of King and I have still produced multiple novels, novelettes and novellas. I’ve even sold a few of them. So, it works for me. I think it can work for others.

I have a structure in mind of how to design/create these. Based on the feedback showing me what I most often talk about, it isn’t how to write but when and how often. That truism ought to be further explored over the next year as I develop this alongside the other five or six projects I have on my mind. In fact, today is largely about getting a schedule and putting in the time to develop a sense of when X, Y, Z, etc are going to be done, so I can ride the backtrail of that expectation to this singular point of origin, learning how these things are developed along the way.

If I can teach myself how to do it effectively, I can teach someone else. I know this, because I am a stubborn SOB who is often too smart for his own good. By smart I mean sly and contrarian. Just like my six shit-ass kids.

Some Thoughts:

1. Learning about the foundations of the writing craft reminds me that I don’t really want to learn about someone else’s foundations. I am not entirely clear on how that will help me at this point. Thirty years ago, sure. I’ve walked too far down the path to not have a solid starting point leading to my ultimate writing destination.
2. Two weeks of High School football left. @whee! I’m looking forward to it being in the past for now and for my kid to finally get a car so he can drive himself next season. It’s part of growing up. It is also part of not wearing me down.

I gotta say, the internet is a lousy place to spend your time. Sure, there is a ton of wonderful out there, but there is a lot more madness, despair, and straight up false information. That last bit is probably the worst. There is a long standing theory that most of the internet is bot activity–pre-AI algorithms roaming around and churning up madness. Maybe it wasn’t but with the proliferation of click farms and high end digital production, there is more fake than real. You can hardly trust the news anymore. In truth, you can decide what news you want to believe and there is a stream of it out there just for you. There is also a version of any reality you want to reside in. I’m not sure that is a bad thing, so long as you stay in that reality. This was, after all, the main idea behind Ready, Player 1.

The book (and later movie) told of a digital utopia masterminded by a singular corporation through an extensive online realm which simulated a living universe. The ‘verse had a world game built in where you could solve a puzzle and win, well, everything. However, it was the casuals (as it always is) who powered that world. It was the scores of players who didn’t play that world game and instead preferred to lean into different kinds of games and realities, escaping the dark and dreary one that they actually existed in. We’re not there yet. We have to get past this whole AR era, but that deep digital era is definitely coming. Art imitates life, some say. Art preludes life when it comes to science fiction.

Meanwhile, I’m thinking about the opportunity to buy a tiny house and power it through solar so I can escape into a space we control. That seems to be the only way these days… very sci fi.

I made it through day one of two. The two day in class format gives me more time to plan and develop an excellent presentation to those students for the day I am with them. Some instructors believe there are better opportunities to connect with more touch points, and I get that. I used to stand by that, but I no longer do. Now I believe that students are looking forward to that entertainment hour and they want to get on with their lives and enjoy the one moment in the space–if they can. Not sure that they all can, but that’s the new goal. I want to give my students a moment.

Turns out I’m really into moments anymore.

I’m going to keep this to the smaller things today. That means it is all about…

Some Thoughts:

1. I lost a fantasy football game that I truly should not have. Skill issue? Perhaps slightly, but moreso a bad luck issue. I slide from a potential 4th place to a probably 9th in one 6 point loss. Tough year.
2. SNAP benefits are expected to expire on Halloween. Better hold on to that candy, poor kids, because it might be the only food you get for a while. Here’s what is most crushing about this–it is all politics. A billionaire can spend 130 million to help pay for troop salaries. The government can shift 8 billion in research dollars to cover the cost of salaries, but SNAP, which also has 5B, cannot or will not spend those funds to support the people it is meant to protect? That’s using politics to play with people’s lives.
3. No, I’m not here for the whataboutisms. I don’t care that Dems just won’t sign the bill. The reasons are entirely just. Dems have no power but this moment and they need to stick to it in order to make sure health care doesn’t skyrocket for the most vulnerable. The ‘other side’ doesn’t care about any of that nor is that side truly representative of the larger body of people whom they serve. It sucks that we’ve come to such a dark place. It is also no surprise that we have. “Our Brand is Crisis” said one Trump staffer, sadly invoking a Sandra Bullock film… because nothing they do is original. Even Make America Great Again is a recycled Reagan bit.
4. Speaking of recycled Reagan bits, kudos to Ontario for the sick burn commercial… Of course he raised tariffs as a result
5. Finally watching Mrs. Maisel after years of avoiding it. It got to the point where not watching a show we thought might be good but wasn’t really sure we wanted to commit to was call Mrs. Maiseling it. We’re going to keep that term forever. The show was worth the watch… through the first season. By the end of season two I’m wondering how they sustained it for 5. This isn’t Gilmore Girls good… not yet. The star herself is funny and fun to watch. The supporting cast is great in moments, but outside of Shaloub, nobody is stealing a scene.

expectations are a crazy thing. Take college football for example. If your team has a logo with a history of winning then the only successful outcome of a season is a natty. You can win 8 games and get fired. You have a losing record for a single year and you’re cooked. Went one will turn on you. That’s a function of expectations.

There are expectations in every aspect of life and they exist as a function of a perceptual relationship between two or more parties (I won’t dig into self expectations here). When those parties are not aligned in vision or harken any level of confusion in any aspect of the communication between the two, expectations develop and that word is always nasty.

I perceive symbiosis as a relations between two or more parties where mutual ism is at the core of it. When the goal is to create a result of equally supported needs and desires, you’re good. When it isn’t, expectations form and lead to imbalance.

we live in an era of expectation and imbalance which is not good for anyone. All we ever seem to want is a reassurance of our bubble—our feelings and worldview and if that doesn’t happen then someone needs to suffer and someone else needs to make sure that the bubble is secured. I’m struggling with living in a world like that.

unfortunately, it’s the only one I got.

It’s actually closer to noon than morning, but I wanted to get this in before the day fully turned into afternoon and I was turned towards the ideas of what I want to accomplish outside of the page–including watching the kid possibly play football today. He’s in a bind. He is so sick that he’s lost near twenty pounds. His body is sore and he’s taken zero time to recover. I don’t think he should play today, but if he does I want him to play like it’s his own Jordan Flu game. His team is facing a top-ranked squad at home, and they need a win pretty badly right now to stay in the playoff conversation.

Games. They have so much meaning in our lives. Most of my other kids are entirely consumed by games and the quick dopamine hit accompanying them. If you asked what the majority of my kids do with the majority of their lives it is playing games–if not as a career than as their consuming habit. More and more the games are getting shorter. There is a reduced willingness to dedicate the time and energy to longer endeavors. It is a form of neural bloating, which some scientists and researchers term as, “heightened sensitivity to the rewards and stimuli associated with short video content“. Games, while more active than passive, have a similar effect.

Distractions consume us all. The faster the distraction, the more we crave them it seems..

First day of solid writing progress since I put my butt in this chair two weeks ago and tried to scratch out a few solid hours of progress. It worked then and worked now. Only twice was ai interrupted by a senseless web search. I cannot say I got a lot of words in, but I got a lot of understanding in about the concepts involved in the story. I know and understand the backbone of not only this story, but another piece I am working on that is due in two months and reflects the fundamentals of what I am doing in the novel–but from a very different perspective.

Butt in Chair works. That’s my bottom line. When I have the time and focus required to get stuff done, I do. Unfortunately, I have yet to structure a lifestyle around that simple concept. Here it is nearly noon on a Friday and I’ve done more in this time and space than I have all of last week. Imagine my productivity if I made this kind of time daily? I’m not calling myself Stephen King yet, but I can do at least 1 page a day like this… maybe two. That’s two novels a year, folks. That is not only a lifestyle but a legitimate career.

Some Thoughts:

1. It is worth considering the factors holding me back: Kids, laziness, environment, work. How to mitigate those factors. In fact, I will try to follow through on understanding how to do that and then, one day, publish the book (the 3 day writer) gives me the money and momentum to get my situation in gear (perhaps even a different book for each amount of time (the one day writer and so on).

The toughest thing about writing to me is writing. The butt in chair aspect of the whole endeavor is fine if you’re on a beach or out in the woods or on the porch of the farm or in the libarary and so on. However, sitting at home when there are a thousand distractions clouding your mind is not the ideal opportunity to get that engine going. I’m quite trash at it, actually. Trash at the getting going and trash at the organization of when and how to consistently sit down at put out the words.

Over the summer I spent time in Spain and Canada. In Spain the reward for words was going to the beach. In Canada the beach was where I did the words. In both occasions I had a system in place where when I was writing, I was doing so with ‘just enough’ positive distraction that I could stay on task until my mind needed a blip. Spain was a one room pool house where I had internet service but only one screen, so I’d have to forcefully click off my full screen writing experience to distract myself. The area was teeming with passing cars and barking dogs and the occasional party a block away, but it still felt suburban–even remote. I wasn’t in a major city where there were distractions everywhere, and even those local sounds became background noise after a few days.

Canada was magic. There is no internet on the beach. There is only me and the words. Sometimes an Eagle flew by and once even landed in front of me, and that is all the distraction I need. The serenity and the regularity of the experience taught me that I want to write in isolation. I want to be disconnected when I spin the words, because then it is coming from me undistracted and unfiltered. It feels liek being jacked in separates me from the core of where my stories come from.

Home is different. Harder. There a lot of people in this house all playing games, shouting, and what not. I rarely am even in the office alone as I am now. I am peppered with distractions. I have three screens, which is probably two too many. These are the distractions I face. I have to find a better way and perhaps a better place. After all, I’m not so strong that I can overcome all of this on my own. I’ve proven that at least.

You ever notice how language tends to shape our perceptions. The things that are codified by our understanding of language and the underlying symbolism that language promotes are vast. I want to take this ten to focus on the dialectic of left and right, black and white. Now I know I cannot get through all of it in ten so I will try to be fast as possible on this. Free flowing thought commences now…

Why is left always associated with evil and wrongness? We cannot escape the linguistic bias inherent in the term. Left-handed people are lesser or more infrequent or just plain different from the masses. In a faux-populist civilization that means that left is inherently wrong. The wicked are placed on Gods left hand. The word ‘sinister’ is in fact a latin word that means left. In contrast, the word ‘dexter’ means right which means dexterity, commonly associated with grace and agility, is aligned with the right. Heck, the word ‘right’ is a stand in for correctness. So, when we speak to left and right in the political sphere, there is already a poisoning of that well, a genetic flaw in the base argument of whatever comes from the left as opposed to the right. Modern pundits only exacerbate that difference, especially when we tend to see the so-called right as a fundamentally religious (Christian?) base. So right is right and left is…. wrong? Well, fascism is a far-right political ideology that emphasizes authoritarian, dictatorial power. Yet it’s connection to the ‘right’ way of thinking has always lent it both credence as an ideology and some fair bit of freedom of operation as it can be connected to Kings and the ever present love of royalty we cannot seem to escape.

In short, we are being snookered by our own language and linguistic bias into looking at anything associated with the left as less than or perhaps bad. This is only getting worse as our media reach expands. Left = bad. Bernie Sanders (the most gentle man on the planet) is evil. White is right. Black is… Well, I guess I don’t have time to get into that one just yet, but let’s say the left and black are synonymous in the way that white and right are. Unfortunately, we as a people don’t want to think. We lean into cognitive ease and just let the talking heads think for us. That is why this is going to continue and continue to get worse.