This is a 6 am edition of the ten minute rule, because my dog woke me up at 4 in the morning because the Amazon driver was at the door dropping off a package that I’d completely forgotten I’d ordered and had no idea was an overnight delivery. It was a new harness for said dog, bringing this entire thing full circle. Welcome to my life. It isn’t as hard as some. It isn’t as easy as others. It has frills, and occasionally those frills cost me time and sleep.
I’m awake now though. Still. I abandoned the bed an hour after trying to return, because the Lady Talis could feel every toss and turn and, provided access to a shiv, might have killed me. I would have accepted my death on the spot. That’s fair. So, I left. So, I’m here. I did homework for a while, played pokemon online, read a few articles about football and a few more about how Trump is going to ruin the USA (too late, btw, he already accelerated our downfall tenfold). All of that put me in a proper mind to recognize the constant despair that is the daily life here.
I live in a culdesac. The people in this culdesac are largely retired. They are in the twilight of their lives. The ones that aren’t don’t leave their homes during daylight hours. I am not suggesting they are vampires. They could just have really nice backyards. My kids (who still live here) also do not leave. Everyone in this area seems content with where they are, as if this is the destination and the journey is over. I don’t feel like that. I feel like I’m stuck in neutral here. Maybe everyone else feels that and just accepts it. I’m not here for that.
I am not sure what I’m really here for at this point. It is a daily grind that results in a paycheck to continue the daily grind. Perhaps its time to go grind elsewhere, and find that life can flourish outside of grind… definitely seems to flourish outside of here.