I’m taking us back to the summer of 2015. The post was 1876. The title, “Tipped too far and back again”. I was talking about relationship balance–something I have struggled with my entire life. In this instance I was discussing the balance of the relationship between myself and my boys. It is funny to look back on ’15 when I was deep into the coaching and turning them in to everything I wanted them to be only to see them become some version of that combined with who they want to be.
So what then is the necessary balance? I think in all relationships there has to be a basic understanding of needs of and from all parties concerned. For me there is an inherent need to please, so a lot of this stuff I do can be self-gratifying. On the other hand I need to feel like the things I do for people are appreciated in a way that I recognize as appreciation. This is made difficult in a parental relationship (though perhaps no harder than in a marital one) because the kids don’t fully understand my expectations of appreciation unless I explain it to them.
This was, as I put it, the rub and crux of the blog. I was troubled by my boys not knowing how to act, but I didn’t look at myself and how I acted and occasionally continue to act. Children are sponges. Partners are mirrors. You give yourself to your kids and that shapes them. You see your wants and needs in your partner and that shapes how you behave. I hold these truths to be self-evident if you are willing to look at yourself and your actions.
Some Thoughts:
- My wifi is a lot slower than it should be given how much we pay per month. Unacceptable.