My mid kid graduates tonight. I’m proud of the boy. He’s just turned 17 and is doing all the things to make the last few days of High School a beautiful memory. He’s already done all the things to max out his swag (tassels, award ribbons, etc.) so the walk across the podium will be his moment to shine. I have the camera ready and I am ready to finish putting together the 4th such video of a possible 5. One this one made it to youtube. The making it to youtube isn’t really the point of any of it. The point is to celebrate his moment. That is hampered a bit in this case by the sad reality of how isolated I’ve become over the past decade.
I believe in family. I believe family is the root for creating something larger than yourself as an individual. When I divorced I gave up a lot of family. I give up more still thanks to my relationship with my mother. On a day to day basis I am okay with that. I have the woman of my dreams and live my life quite happily with her. She’s a mother to my boys and hers alike. She and I will walk into that graduation hand in hand. Her boys will be beside us. My mom will be there too. I’m driving her to the thing. However, she isn’t standing by my side. She’s here for the kid only. In truth, she is closer to the ex and her clan than she is to me, which will feel terribly isolating.
I don’t want to make this night about me. I had a role in what is happening on stage but it is about what the kid did and who the kid became through his own habits and force of will. As such, I will work hard to keep the focus there and away from the nonsense of isolation and how those people I mentioned try hard to isolate me.