1789. On Discrimination, Fear, and a mile in another person’s shoes

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I had the opportunity to sit with a woman who was openly ranting about her husband fearing for his life and being discriminated against largely based on his race and his profession. I felt for her in the early moments of her rant. Then she dropped a bit of privilege and reminded us that we shouldn’t be discrimnating against him, because he’s a white cop. She went on to suggest that it wasn’t just affecting him but his entire family–especially her having to be a wife standing up for her man and fearing for his safety when he walks the streets. I thought to myself, what a strong moment here. This woman has a chance to finally feel like what it means to walk through the world with brown skin, or with a Koran cradled in your arms, or to be from a part of Korea no one wants to speak proudly about, or wanting to have sex with someone who has the same parts as you. Unfortunately–and realistically–it mattered more to her because it was about her and someone she loved and it was about someone and something she always group up thinking was the ‘right thing’ and had the identity of the majority and was something to be believed in. I thought, isn’t it ironic that the people I mentioned above all likely felt just as badly about their experience as she did about hers? I’m willing to bet that not one of them identified as being the ‘bad guy’ either, and also like her, complained about how mass media is driving the interpretation of their group. Too bad she didn’t seem to realize that.

I don’t think change can come without empathy. I think that having sympathy means feeling for someone’s condition or situation without truly understanding what it is to walk in their shoes. When that lady spoke up and talked about the fear her husband has when he goes on patrol I felt empathy, because I have been there–not on patrol but walking the streets in a city where I can be stopped just because someone might think I have a weapon, or walking through a place at night where angry people may feel they have the right to attack you merely because you look a way they identify with crime or wrongdoing or associate with the different.
Her feeling and fearing as she does is horrible. It may also be neccesarily to promote change. The majority of cops and cops wives I talk to don’t see it this way. Instead they justify the behaviors of officers who racially discriminate, saying it is just the way things are. It isn’t the way things are for race, religion, sexual or political preference. One group is not more inherently criminal, wrong, or evil than another. Once you walk on the side of the discriminated you can start to appreciate what that feels like.
Some Thoughts:
  1. Georgetown College was founded in 1789, 102 years before basketball was invented. 226 years later they suck at basketball.
  2. That was also the year we named Washington our first US President.
  3. Later that year Kentucky rolled out the first bottle of Bourbon Whiskey. The correlation is obvious. From the first ‘crowning’ of an American president we’ve been driven to drink some hard shit…especially when thinking about basketball.

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