My present level of exhaustion is criminal. In six and a half hours I need to be out the door dragging my exhausted (and sick) kids to a tackle football playoff game that two of them are playing in. I know I’m tired because in the back of my mind I’m rationalizing how the new Bond Spectre movie might’ve actually been good. It wasn’t. No amount of sleep deprivation can change that. No, seriously, Spectre was bad. It was spoof bad.
The problems with Spectre started after the introductory fight scene/mission. The movie launches with a beautiful look at Day of the Dead, and moves into and through a well choreographed and violent chase scene, which we later discover is integral to what passes for a plot in this particular film. So I am still happy at this point. Next thing you know Sam Smith is belting out his brand of excellence and the usual credits graphics start to hint at the best parts of the film to come.
Ten minutes later the whole thing falls apart.
Soon Bond is practically raping a woman (in his mock defense she slapped him before he could woo her, so I suppose he figured he had to do it). This is followed by one of the most disjointed and unbelievable spy films in known history. You shouldn’t be able to get this drivel past the guys who made Sharknado, but someone here we are.
By the end Bond has an apparently crucial bit of his personal history revealed, has faced of with a surprisingly stupid and inane villain, and ridden off into the sunset for what looks to be the last time. This wasn’t a send off in the traditional sense. I mean, I didn’t know it was meant to be a send off. It felt more like a send up. It felt like an homage to Bond films of the past. In truth, the SPECTRE storyline has been a part of multiple Bond films as far back as ’63, including the iconic Blofield and his cat, a version of which appear here in the new film. A version of everything appears in the new film. Too bad it isn’t a good version.
Some Thoughts:
- This is supposedly going to be a 5 billion dollar election–twice what was spent on the 2012 election. I think a lot of that money has to do with the fact that nobody knows who is going to be the frontrunner and that sort of limited time to develop a candidate requires a lot of media saturation. I literally expect to see political ads in the Super Bowl.
- I’ve been experiencing a great deal of muscle and joint pain that is commonly referred to as middle age, or the ‘fat period’. It doesn’t help that I haven’t bothered to take good care of myself. I can say that with me giving up on fast food (despite a recent nugget relapse) and soda and adding vitamins to my lifestyle, I’m saying there’s a chance I get past this.
- There is a Writer/Producer who goes by the name Speed Weed. WTF??? I mean he does good stuff, but come on, man!