If I look at my posts from a year ago, that version of me is focused on NFL football and the impending thrill of Black Friday. A year before that likely the same and before that–for years, likely, I was about the books. For a period of my life it was normalized that I would be at the NCTE conference at least every other year. These last few years I have not gone to the conference at all, severing that already tenuous connection with the professional writing and academic writing worlds. Add in my now decade plus hiatus from GenCon and I don’t really go anywhere as a writer. That is not a tenable situation.
The key here is to embed into the community of writers. I’ve noticed that when I embed–when I am around a community of people who write–it provides a bit more of that spark to write. As importantly (or perhaps moreso) it gives me the connections necessary to get writing work. Being around that crowd once landed me a textbook gig. It is how I became so deeply entrenched in Shadowrun and was able to freelance for other organizations as well. As things have turned back towards longer form fiction I find that need to be part of the community even more compelling. If I want to publish stories I need to be surrounded by those who are doing that work. On the back end of that I need to be supported by a strong partner who cares about that work and cares about me as an individual as well.
Writing is often characterized as a solitary act. Perhaps the act of putting the words on the page is solitary, but like most things it requires a lot of other people around you to get the words to the page and from there to a wanting audience. I’ve allowed that support system to largely erode. I do have that all important backbone piece. I know she is going to support my dreams so long as she is able. That matters. It is up to me to start reassembling the rest.
Perhaps this is my Tony Stark/Bruce Wayne moment after all.
Some Thoughts:
- Starting the morning with music is a solid idea and an excellent way to get energized. I ought to throw in some arm curls or something, but little by little, right?
- Life still feels not quite right. As if I missed the turn off or some exit to where I should be and now I am driving off into the path darkness of what shouldn’t be and trying to find my way back home. Perhaps I don’t. Perhaps I ought to stop looking for what I know to be right and start learning to be comforted by that darkness and trying to accept that this is how it is for the majority of people and I belong as part of that majority.
- Or maybe I ought to keep looking for that chance to exit back unto the right path.
- Women wield the word ‘fine’ like a cudgel.