2.220. Some Thoughts

Too many things on my mind to complete one centralized ten minute post… unless I combine them all under the header of…

 

Some Thoughts:

  1. 220 days ago I restarted this blog. A lot can happen in 220 days. A lot more has happened than I thought could. I have been given tremendous opportunity in this life and I continue to squander such things as a result of poor ritual. By that I mean I have developed all the wrong habits and fight all the right ones. The saddest part is that I see it and often do nothing about it. Perhaps that is my real gift–I see these things clearly. I see them the way a sculptor sees the artistry within a slab. Then I apply my disastrous tools and all is lost. But all is not lost. I have another chance to get everything right. I am continuously supplied with chances like lives on a video game and each iteration makes me feel like I am closer to getting things right.
  2. Fantasy Football is what changed my love for football. It broke me in a subversive way. It broke down the tribal barriers that govern the game. The very idea of ‘whose side are you on’ is shattered in the face of having a 3rd party team which holds players from each side of the two competing forces. I was no longer rooting for a team but for individual players to reach their potential and thus eliminating any sense of who I actually wanted to win. Furthermore I wasn’t appreciating the beauty of the sport from a chess-match perspective. I kept looking for stats. Add to that the suckness (my word) of my NY Giants and the entire thing was trash.
  3. Not completing the 30 minute rule yesterday was entirely my fault. I own that completely. I had multiple opportunities to start the window and chose not to. I chose other things ahead of the structured writing time. This morning my shower allowed me the chance to look at that in perspective and really think about what happened. It came down to easy pleasure vs. the work of the thing. It came down to everyone else’s stuff before my stuff. It came down to lazy vs. working. Now all of this is a part of who I am, but I also am a person who has the power and brain to strategize through that and find a way to be successful. I could’ve found 30 minutes. I did not. I will today and each day moving forward.