2.282. More

A day removed from my mid-kid’s birthday I find myself thinking about the concept of happiness. For most people around me happiness is simple, yet elusive. For some it is entirely modeled on what their siblings want. If one has a baby then that is what they want. If another gets a fancy car then that is what they want, as though mirroring their success manufactures a type of happiness. I myself live on the edge of a chasm that is the happy. I can peer down into it and know at the bottom is a great many things into which I may fall. As such I am happy in waves and often for different reasons.

What I seek presently is to find the joy in routine; to turn the necessities into a morning run along the edge of that chasm so that I may feel joy as wind against my skin as I run. I want to be happy in everything that I do. This doesn’t mean I expect to eschew sadness. One fuels the other in an endless cycle. I just want to sink in more and release the expectations of worry, wear, and sadness in order to embrace a deeper sense of joy from the simplest parts of my day. In essence, I want to enjoy it all, even the knowledge that I am not doing all I can, as it points to the notion that I can still do more.


Some Thoughts:

  1. Behind the words: I recently started listening to the book ‘Continue Online’ which has opened in me a wealth of questions about how I feel about online interactions and the possibility of AI. In truth, I feel intrigued. I would very much enjoy interactions with AI and learning to understand their ‘way’ as well as understanding the possibilities of becoming a digital entity. I often wonder if this consciousness is in of itself a form of executable programming built from our human experiences. If so, can it be copied?
  2. While this book is taking up precious brain cycles I remain interested in understanding a great many other things–namely the draft and Minecraft. Why those two? There is a sense of balanced creation at play there where I don’t entirely know what I am trying to make but have a vague sense of things, depending on what I discover to be possible within the confines of the world I’ve discovered. Likewise my team has a concept of what they want and the draft is the execution of that concept modified by variables outside of their control. In both instances we have a certain amount of control but also must wait and see if our monster becomes what we hope it will.
  3. Yes, I was in fact reaching… Not mad about that.