It has been one of those crazy kind of pre-christmas seasons. I’m not talking politics or world events but the crazy in my own life. I’ve come to a particular set of understandings:
- I am in love in a way I have never experienced before, which is both deeply fulfilling and terrifying.
- I am actually interested in becoming a better teacher. This is a rare condition for someone with tenure. I should be, according to stereotype, checked completely out.
- I want to put more focus on the blog and thus the writing career and recognize that the two are in fact part of the same lifestyle.
- I’m not dedicated to building a creative writing program at my college without monetary compensation. I should feel differently about that situation, because the more I build a program, the more classes I can teach. Still, the urge is not really there. Maybe I don’t want to teach 16 week CRW classes any longer? Maybe I just don’t care for the politics of the thing.
- I want things to be better with my kids. I want a home life that makes me feel good about being with my kids and proud of the time we spend together. That is not happening. Hell, I’m not at all proud of my home itself.
- I want to manage my time better instead of falling into things and drowning in them to the point where once I emerge everything else has been forgotten… or messed up.
- I always want to leave one blank.