The terrible nature of this weekend’s scrimmage served as a reminder that I am not pushing my kid to his limit. Not any of them. The players–at this level–who are successful and noted as top talents are training all the time. My kids game and chill and are, well, children. I don’t feel bad about that in the least, but I also make space in my psyche for the possibility that I can be doing more. Or at least I can put them in a position to do more. Or at least do better in what they do.
As I lean into the new week I feel… whelmed. I have a tremendous amount to get done as usual, but once again I feel capable of handling my business. I am also looking forward to doing the Monday morning meditation where I get to plan for the week.
In the end I see a lot of promise coming. I feel positioned to do well and make things happen and to shape my priorities in a fashion that gives me more time to enjoy time with my love and live more of the life that we are aspiring to. What I am struggling with is new ideas. I lack a particular level of romance. I feel out of new ideas and am troubled by how content I am just to spend time with my partner. It doesn’t matter what we do, but it does. I am not entirely used to being boring yet that is exactly what I have become.
This could be a function of the energy spent on work and on stupid people (also a function of work). This could also be a function of trying to kickstart my own writer’s creativity and generally failing to do so (again, a function of work). One thing about this week: I will spend more time cultivating my romantic energies.
So, that is where I am in preparation for this coming week. It is just a week, but is a week where I feel like I have a chance to be a better version of myself.