Safe to say I’ve been in a lurch the past few days. Call it a rough transition. Between some body issues hampering me (kneck and back because I’m old as crap) and preparing to move headlong into a semester I’m not quite prepared to begin, I’ve been a bit of a mess. Thankfully I have a partner that keeps me grounded. I’m probably not the best version of myself for her lately either, and that is something else to work on. People don’t seem to be the best versions of themselves right now. Just this morning I found myself in Walmart and in the middle of a series of unfortunate moments; each desperate in their own way. It started with the man who’d wet his pants. I felt bad for the guy, but he tried to act like it didn’t happen. He openly worked to pretend there was nothing going on and when people did look he said, “Nothing to see here.” proving that he knew what there was to see. I want to imagine he was there to grab new pants, but I didn’t stay in the moment long enough to find out. Later I wound up in a conversation with a wheelchair bound worker who really just wanted to have a conversation with someone. I didn’t want it to be me, and that was tough, because I have always had a hard time breaking away from those moments. There is something about people who need people that has always made me want to stick around and be supportive. Put that on my gravestone: He was supportive.
It’s something at least.
Normally this would’ve been an evening of football, but Covid took that from us this eve. Politics did additional damage at the high school level as several players transferring to the school were ruled ineligible to play for the season. These ineligibilities were handed down unfairly from school to school as some kids who transferred were not allowed to play and other who transferred–often from the same school but to other, more football-known programs were allowed to play immediately. There are lawsuits in the work as I speak. Football is crazy. I think it may finally be getting to be too much.
I haven’t said too much but I’ve said enough for now. Ten minutes, you know.