Well, I went online but I haven’t taken the time to upload the past blogs, so I’m going to write this out here and decide after if I want to upload everything all at once. I’ve been offline for four days. I wonder if people assume I’ve died. I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without posting the blog. In truth I don’t go a day without blogging and the times I did were jarring enough to trigger a reset. So, this is weird.
Not weird enough to actually do anything about it, but weird. That’s sort of the mindspace I’m in these days. I am on the ‘hard chill’ trying to get my mind right for a long semester and the graduation of a kid that follows. There is a ton of stuff to think about in that respect. Namely, I’m going to have been a dad for almost 18 years here soon and that is a big deal. That’s getting a kid through it in one piece and, hopefully, the kid not hating me too much. The fact is my relationship with the kids is much better than my own with my parents—whom I don’t even know if both surviving ones are actually still alive. Even the step kid who seems to be totally out on the idea of authority deserving respect on spec is on decent terms with me. I can live with that. I feel good about it. I feel good about having been here for them for all the moments. I don’t entirely suck as a dad.
That being said, I am officially an oldhead. I mean I still blog. That has to say something. Even if the blog is only for these ten minutes…