So… I am definitely sick. I’ve been run down the entire day and that has led to a very low performance/low energy day. We were primed to go on a fun date and I just couldn’t get my heart into it. It sucks. It sucks being the let down and I don’t want to feel like this any longer. At least I am shifting to being more productive again. I realized that my novel was published and seeing it up there on Amazon.com left me feeling, well, good. It reminded me that I can get stuff done and I’ve been at this long enough that I should get more done. I’m excited about the next steps and excited about the possibility of more writing and being a better version of myself. That all starts with being healthy–mentally and physically. I’ve been struggling mightily in both departments for a while now. So, let’s get right.
Part of that is healthy habits. This means better food in the body, better schedule of how and when I eat as well. It also means a number of mental routines. I have to sharpen the steel of my mind in order to produce. I have to get (and keep) my butt in the chair and I have to get back to loving the things I do professionally beyond writing. I have to get back to loving being a teacher. I have to only play what I enjoy playing and don’t overdo it in any specific game. I all but quit APEX because it stopped being a fun and brief distraction. Madden has become more of a ‘revenge seeking’ situation than fun as of late as I cannot seem to recognize how to see the field or do anything beyond cheap glitch plays… I want to play it to be good and play it for the joy of reading coverages and enjoying the game. That hasn’t been happening. Minecraft… well, I haven’t sunk in hard like I want to, so perhaps a break there as well. In general it seems time to dial back the game setting and dial up the writing and pondering and research settings. I need to get back to that sense of balance I often write about.