All too often I find myself on the precipice–the bleeding edge of ‘about to do something big’ yet I don’t always get there. What holds me back? Periods of laziness? Lack of actual endurance? Too much going on? All of these factors have some limited contribution, but the key is not actually giving enough of a damn to make the changes needed. In other words, I cannot get better if I don’t care enough.
This is a problem I see in athletes all the time. They hit that level where they feel they are good enough and they don’t get any better. In fact they fade away more often than they maintain. Some realize, as I am realizing, that the clock is ticking and they need to get to their max sooner than later. Unfortunately that moment of clarity often comes too late in real life. It often comes after you’ve written yourself into a tiny niche of creativity and success. It often comes after the opportunities are exhausted. It often comes after you’ve already blown through any human forgiveness you have available to you.
I am a lucky man. I am lucky not to be in that spot. I have the second half of my life here available to me in order to make good things happen yet still. All I need to do is put my foot down and actually do something with the talent I have left. I have to get my mind stronger. I have to get my body healthier. I have to spend less time on games and more time on work. Above all of it I have to embrace the love provided to me in life and truly use that as a base from which to spring forward. I am blessed with a partner who does want the best for me. We want to make each other’s dreams come true. That starts with recognizing what our dreams are and firing out into the world instead of lazily scrolling through my phone thinking about how everyone else is going out and getting theirs.
I talk a lot about being around unmotivated people. I am. That doesn’t mean that I have to cave into that mentality. I can change myself and perhaps that will spark change around me. I can organize my life and perhaps that will spark organization around me. I can get things done and maybe that will show others the beauty of success. Regardless, if I do all of this for myself and my partner then our lives become brighter and that alone is worth the effort. The rest is bonus play.