This could be called a tale of two mothers.
One is self-centered and extremely difficult. The other is mindful of everyone around her—perhaps to the detriment of herself. One is A hard-scrabble city girl. The other comes from southern stock. They could not be more opposite in how they care for their kin. I’ve heard time and again the old adage, “you marry your mother” I on the other hand fell in love with her opposite. My partner is incredible. She cares about her family so much that even holidays like Mother’s Day feel like they are about celebrating them and not her.
I worry that the kids take advantage of this. I didn’t talk to them this year about gifts. I talked to the youngest three boys, because it felt like two of them were young enough to need the prodding. I didn’t prod the others and now I sit here blogging on the mother’s day morning and wondering openly if they got her at least a card. This remains to be seen.
At least they showed up. I haven’t seen my mother on mother’s day for a decade at least. I haven’t spoken to her in person for close to two years if not more. I haven’t texted with her in at least one. I’ve been far from an ideal son, but she’s been far from an ideal mom. The relationship deteriorated to the point where I wouldn’t even know if she was ill. This is not the best case scenario for a son on daughter. I applaud my partner for being in a much better position with the kids. Regardless of their individual dispositions or relationships with anyone else in the family–including myself, they love and respect her. They show up, and that is the sign of a good mother.