10 Minute Rule

Don’t have a cohesive thread of a single thought today as I am exhausted from a long weekend with kids and the first actual physical exercise I’ve done in years. More on that in..

Some Thoughts:

1. Played in a city bowl game. I usually do one of these a year for the small (under 50k) city I live in. I haven’t played any sort of anything  in a while, so playing all of a sudden felt surprisingly good. The last time I did any physical activity was a high ropes course that I did not hydrate for or during and nearly died. I did not complete the course. I did complete the game with two touchdowns and a 2pt conversion to go with two drops in 6 targets. The points made the difference as we won the event 42-40. Felt good to move around. It felt draining as heck, but it felt like a good first step towards mind/body balance.
2. Wreck it Ralph was hilarious and really well done in terms of cute drops/easter eggs for grown ups. I don’t want to give too much away, but there is Stan Lee siting and some really great stuff with the Princesses. 
3. Sick. 
4. I hate being sick, but it feels like sick gives me a really good reset in terms of physicality. I’m going to rebuild myself in a lot of different ways. 
5. I’m also rededicating to the words. 

Misplaced my charger again, so this is likely the last time I use this computer until Sunday. Such is life. I could use the extended break from work. Maybe I’ll use a bit more of that time to work on the physical. I am committing to forcing a balance between mind, body, spirit, and heart. 25% shares sounds about right.

Or maybe all of these things ought to work in harmony and not be divided by the concept of balance or equal share. That very idea has gotten our species in trouble across the globe. The simple reason is that those who have worked to achieve their place in life feel that so-called equal share will empower those behind them to surpass them with less effort than it took the aggrieved struggler to make it as far as they have. The poor white farmers in the south didn’t get reparations, so the idea that blacks would suddenly have more than them–40 acres and a mule more–was absolutely divisive. In truth, we want the best for ourselves and want more than what others have in order to feel that we have achieved. This is the American way and, for the most part, the American dream. 

When you inject any conversation of equality into the mix, it instantly creates an unfair advantage in the minds of some, because of the fear of how such things will be applied. Take sports for example: If 5 people are running a Marathon and the last two were suddenly advanced to the rank of the 3rd place runner, the third place runner would be angry. Why? They have the most to lose in that equation. Even in a non-zero sum game this is true. Imagine seventeen workers in a business making 11 bucks an hour and 3 who’ve been there for long enough to see their effort pay off in a two dollar raise. Now the 3 are making 14. Except minimum wage gets raised to 14, so every bub walking in off the street will get the same rate that the 3’s hard work earned. The 3 should get an additional raise, but this is corporate America. We all know they’ll be told no, thanks.

I had a chance to reignite the tradition of seeing a movie on Thanksgiving with the family. By fortune I was not alone, though my kids were with my ex. I was with my partner and the other half of my family. Together we saw A Star is Born, and through it I was plunged into deep retrospection about my life, opportunity, love, loss, and belonging.

There is too much to tell in a brief ten minute window, but I want to preface this by saying that I played football and tag with the kids this morning. I was moronically slow and out of breath most of the time. I showed my age so completely that, long after we’d returned, I was still sweating. On Saturday I’m slated to play in a flag football tournament and there is a high chance that I will not be able to play an entire game. I can blame plantar fasciitis, but the problems run deeper than a bum left foot. Four bum ventricles compound the situation, offering me the stamina of an 80 year old man…. who smokes. I am neither 80 nor a smoker, but man it feels that way some times. 

This movie lingered on the idea of losing that what makes you who you are. My partner and I have discussed how physical activity is the yin to mental activity and how both are needed to have a robust creative drive. I’ve neglected one and the other has faded in turn. These are facts. These are correlations I am making as a result of the facts, but facts nonetheless.

I am losing my physical and my mental is suffering. I am in a position to correct both, but the truth is that I need to want it enough in order to summon that activation energy I used to rave about. I did myself the favor of eating better (gains likely erased by the machinery of holiday meals). Now I need to do myself the service of living better. 

Some Thoughts:

1. Gaga is a dang good singer who let it all hang out in this movie. She was unabashedly herself in the dialogue and movement. She was a reflection of everything I’ve seen from her manicured image and everything I’ve read about who she is really off stage.
2. Andrew ‘Dice’ Clay plays her father!
3. I am thankful that I am loved by a woman who knows my heart and wants to build a life with me.

I’m not going to talk about the Giants. 

Now that we’ve gotten past that, I do want to talk about what is being touted as the flagship game of the new NFL. This game, Rams v. Chiefs, resulted in 105 total points scored. It was an offensive explosion. Now this isn’t to say that there was not good defense. Donald pulled off two strip sacks. Rams scored multiple defensive touchdowns. There was defense. There was just a lot more and a lot better offense.

NFL Darling, Patrick Mahomes, hoisted 6 TD passes while the Rams’ low key QB (bet you can’t even remember his name) scored 4. 54-51 final score and the sports media was crazy about it. Me, kinda.

Here’s the thing: I love offensive football. As former WR and OC I want points on the board. I love the chess match between OC and DC as we each try to move our pieces towards (and away) from the end zone.  I just like a little more parity. 

So, will the saga continue this football week? Yes.

New Orleans will whip Atlanta badly. I predict 38+ points for NO alone. Likewise I think Cleveland finally puts the hurt on a team in yet another step forward for a Browns team that will be good soon. No more predictions for the week. I’m getting kind of superstitious and I’m not trying to vex anything that could impact my own team.

Some Thoughts:

1. It’s Jared Goff…

We love free speech. We love it unless it is hate speech. Unless it diverges from what we believe. Unless it scares us. Unless it challenges the stock market. We love free speech, so long as we have the right to determine what that is and ultimately who gets to say what and where. The exceptionalism of the U.S. social model argues that we are free and must preserve the right to freedom and embedded in that right is the fact that we are also the arbiters of freedom as the one true and free nation. This matters because we happen to build platforms for communication that are used all over the planet. Those platforms are ultimately governed by our ever-shifting ideas of freedom. As a result, we place expectations and exceptions on these platforms based on what we believe is right, true, and free.

I’m talking about social media here. 

More and more social media is being compromised by a number of voices. Some are trolls. Some are bots designed to push socio-political agendas. Some are sex traffickers looking to peddle product across borders and seas. In a truly free internet should all of these different types be allowed the same access to communication? Is the platform responsible for policing content, or is the platform to be seen as a street in which two or more virtual parties can meet?

Holding to the metaphor, the street can be patrolled by a cop who is responsible for such things. But who is that cop? Should Twitter be responsible for what people post? Should Facebook?

I struggle with the question every day, because I believe that people have a right to think and feel whatever they want. I believe in free speech. I don’t believe that people have the right to impose their views on me, but I do feel they have the right to share any and all views to those who will listen. In the same fashion I believe I have the right to challenge those views in a similar fashion. 

The policing question is difficult and in many ways necessary. I just don’t know how to deal with it.

Some Thoughts:

1. It is not lost on me that my favorite spot to write in the house is also the worst for internet and phone service.

I almost did not blog. I forgot. Entirely. I thought about it early in the day and did not do it–did not do anything–all day. Now I am here sitting in bed and thinking, ‘well, what do I have to say anyhow?’ I could talk about my latest foray into audiobook listening. I can talk about the incredible football shootout I’m hearing from a room away. I can talk about the distant connection I have with the multiverse of stories I used to be able to plunge into like Uatu or some Beyonder. 

All of these things are connected, at least in my mind. The audiobook reminded me of how it felt to really descend into story and story worlds the way that I used to. Writing used to feel like being in an audiobook and seeing the world unfurl in my mind. I learned how to type faster solely to keep up with the world I was seeing through my minds eye. Now it feels more like the game feels–dimmed from behind a door too far to reach and too hard to open. I can hear snippets. I can hear enough to know what is going on. I lose some of the dialogue and intrigue, and I cannot see anything at all. I am writing from darkness.

Knowledge is power, so knowing the situation ought to bring me a since of calm and comfort. It doesn’t. I makes me feel like the problem is so massive and unsurmountable that I ought to surrender entirely. Tonight my partner asked me to tell her a story and I couldn’t. 

Some Thoughts:

1. Amazing stuff happening in the marvel cartoons. Looks like they are bringing in Battleworld and Moon Knight!

I pulled the sleeve of crackers out of the box and plopped down on the couch. My partner gave me a sideways look, but I didn’t register it. I registered the first look minutes later when a second look lasered through me. The package of crackers was mostly gone by then. My diet was long forgotten. 

I know it doesn’t work to try to change all of my eating habits at once. Backslide is inevitable. I also know the answer is multi-layered and the next step/layer is exercise and a helping of self intent and self worth as a topping. I lack many of these key ingredients. I have an all to unhealthy habit of falling into things and moving from idea to idea like a signal pushed from satellite to satellite trying to find it’s true destination.

I’m watching Gilmore Girls and marveling at the emotional tension the show was able to sustain for seven seasons. It died in moments, but overall Gilmore did it extremely well–even under the scrutiny of repeated watches. I’ve seen the entire series at least twice, because my partner turned em on to it. It is a good habit. 

This is a blog done in a fit of exhaustion. Long day. Highs and lows and pins and needles. I don’t know that I felt myself for most of the day. I did early on but as the day moved forward my unease grew. I felt judged and unhappy through a great deal of it, only settling back in towards the evening when I was spending time with my partner and even then only in fits and starts.

In truth, all I really have left to speak of is fits and starts and those are best expressed in…

Some Thoughts:

1. Suffering from a case of plantar fasciitis that is making physical activity difficult. I am fine for a while and then I’ll step the wrong way and, bam! Pain crowds my every thought.
2. Looking forward to some time off over December. I can really use the break. I can also really use some time to fall back into being a working writer.
3. The diet has run it’s course and now the work of exercise needs to begin. I cannot lose more weight without working a lot harder. Those last 15-20 lbs are going to be hell. 
4. maybe I settle for 10?

I forgot about how much ego is involved in youth football. I went to a practice today to help a coach clean up a play and watched moments of the practice devolve into machismo…. between the adults. The problem was that each coach has a different idea of what to do and each wants to be right. Add on to that a sense of responsibility and you find yourself front row to an argument about where a kid should line up on the field. 

I tried to help the best I could and talk through the situation with them, as requested. I have a certain amount of football knowledge about the problem they were trying to solve and I helped as well as possible. However, the real issue is that the kids were watching that lack of cohesiveness and recognizing what must have looked like a staff that was not locked in and didn’t entirely know what they were doing or what the plan was.

My kid noticed. He gave me what I’ve come to know as ‘the look’ and checked out on things for a while and other kids checked out as well. 

Coaches are teachers and teachers have a responsibility to be the people we look to for guidance and basically to know how to act. That responsibility can neither be taken lightly nor ignored.

Some Thoughts:

1. My eldest is convinced the world is ending. He isn’t entirely wrong. He cites all of the crazy happening in the world and suggests that this is a sign. Maybe. 
2. Trump is a sign of something…

This morning I started to emerge from a chrysalis of disengagement. The first feeler that popped out of transformative hibernation was the work feeler. I stepped out of the shower thinking about a new gameplan in terms of what and partially how I want to teach moving forward. Sadly, I did not write anything down. I went about my morning only remembering the moment now as I write. So, I’m going to write it down for you all:

I teach a series of writing classes that comprise the composition spectrum. In that I’ve learned that there are a handful of key areas I need to teach in order for these students to become effective writers. They are as follows (in no given order):

• The Backfire Effect
• Effective Introductions
• Body paragraph construction
• PIE format
• Logical Fallacies
• Voice
• Audience
• The ‘So What?’
• Effective conclusions
• Linking Intro and conclusions through story
• Story structure
• Narration
• Cause and Effect
• Quote, Summarize, Paraphrase
• Compare and Contrast
• Word Pictures/illustration
• Explaning a process
• Embedding research
• how to research
• Thesis building
•  

I done run out of time but the list goes on. This is an exercise that I’ll continue off line and maybe share at a later date.

Some Thoughts:

1. One of my all time favorite NFL players is Brandon Marshall. He is an incredible WR and now holds the Dez Bryant spot on the Saints roster. That means I’m watching the Saints!
2. What if Spiderman wasn’t the only one bitten?