I had a chance to reignite the tradition of seeing a movie on Thanksgiving with the family. By fortune I was not alone, though my kids were with my ex. I was with my partner and the other half of my family. Together we saw A Star is Born, and through it I was plunged into deep retrospection about my life, opportunity, love, loss, and belonging.
There is too much to tell in a brief ten minute window, but I want to preface this by saying that I played football and tag with the kids this morning. I was moronically slow and out of breath most of the time. I showed my age so completely that, long after we’d returned, I was still sweating. On Saturday I’m slated to play in a flag football tournament and there is a high chance that I will not be able to play an entire game. I can blame plantar fasciitis, but the problems run deeper than a bum left foot. Four bum ventricles compound the situation, offering me the stamina of an 80 year old man…. who smokes. I am neither 80 nor a smoker, but man it feels that way some times.
This movie lingered on the idea of losing that what makes you who you are. My partner and I have discussed how physical activity is the yin to mental activity and how both are needed to have a robust creative drive. I’ve neglected one and the other has faded in turn. These are facts. These are correlations I am making as a result of the facts, but facts nonetheless.
I am losing my physical and my mental is suffering. I am in a position to correct both, but the truth is that I need to want it enough in order to summon that activation energy I used to rave about. I did myself the favor of eating better (gains likely erased by the machinery of holiday meals). Now I need to do myself the service of living better.
Some Thoughts:
- Gaga is a dang good singer who let it all hang out in this movie. She was unabashedly herself in the dialogue and movement. She was a reflection of everything I’ve seen from her manicured image and everything I’ve read about who she is really off stage.
- Andrew ‘Dice’ Clay plays her father!
- I am thankful that I am loved by a woman who knows my heart and wants to build a life with me.