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This one is coming in late in the evening. Been a long day as Tuesdays typically are. That is why I like to reflect on Tuesdays, however I’m on the phone so I cannot exactly link to a past post. I can however link to a past experience.

Today I spent time walking the campus with my students. We are preparing for a public event, which used to be my jam. Lately I’ve been either in my office or in my classroom and zero presence In between. This is a contrast to my early years at the college when I was everywhere and doing just about everything. It was my life. Between that and coaching my existence was about pleasing and educating.

no longer.

I give more of my hours and energy to the writing —be it student or my likely my own. I plan for classes instead of hanging with colleagues. I am no longer a scion of campus life. It was good for a time and I have no regrets. This is good too. This is who I am now and still, I have no regrets.

Listening to Mr. Nightmare while writing this. He’s talking about disturbing backstories of Craig’s List ads. I like diving into these stories purely for the creep factor. I’m not very good at building that type of tension in my narrative, and it feels like training to listen to this modern version of what I’m trying to create at times and contrast that with the beauty of Stephen King and those of his ilk. It also makes me think about the things that people do foolishly and how people can figure out that something is not quite right… For starters, stay off of Craig’s List. That’s just a recipe for disaster. I’ve sold dogs on the list, and only after meeting and vetting the people was I willing to part ways with the pup.

I also think I stumbled on the dude who is responsible for them creating the ‘Don’t F** with Cats’ story. People are incredibly messed up.

Some Thoughts:

1. Yeah, I have a lot to say about sports come Wednesday.

I came back into the office to write this blog and wound up working on the novel for a while until I realized I was supposed to be blogging. That is a dang good sign. I want to write this story. I feel the contours of the thing in my bones and it is going to be very very good. High hopes for a book that ostensibly a Shadowrun novel, but there it is in a nutshell. This is going to be my best work. Then I will write something better.

The most incredible part of it all is that I do have new ground to tread here. I have stories that haven’t been told in the 60+ books before. Now that I’ve stopped looking at the crew in the story in the same vein/fashion as the Smoker’s Club, I can tell their own authentic story that speaks to their quirks and their world through their eyes. I don’t think I accomplished that with the first one, because I was trying to get it all out and making sure it ‘felt’ like a Shadowrun book. I’m past that. This one is going to feel like a Talislegger book, which is the only way it ought to be.

Some Thoughts:

1. Actually have a lot to talk about sports-wise come Wednesday. So.. the wire is BACK… for a hot second.
2. Here’s the difficult thing about raising kids: You gotta expect the disrespect if you don’t want to be caught flat-footed by it. Just today I fixed hulu for them, after days of them not being able to access it to watch their games. I at least expected a thank you. Nope. Not any acknowledgement at all. They just turned on the game and acted with the level of privilege and don’t give a damn how much work it was for you that only kids can produce for their step dad. Sigh. I don’t do it for the love anymore, because I’m not ever gonna get that. I do it because it is the right thing to do, and hopefully that teaches them something for their own future.

In the background the after-show is playing and Kareem Abdul-Jabar is dropping knowledge from his 75 years of life about how we got to what is modern black culture. He’s talking about what Chris Rock said just a few minutes hence on his Netflix Comedy special–The first live Netflix Comedy special ever. I had a wonderful time listening to him drop jokes and finally have a chance to internationally air his grievances about Will Smith just shy of a year to the day. In truth he was so amped up about the affair that he actually screwed up the joke. Of course, he hit the other 11. He went so hard that I had a moment where I turned to my partner and gave her the ‘stop the fight’ look. He talked about selective outrage and how Will knew he could hit him and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. He talked about the reason Will went at him like that. He talked about the personal stuff (that Will’s wife took public) that led up to that. All of this culminating in an evisceration of a man that Rock once admired.

I think I needed this special. I think I needed a moment where people talked about the journey I’ve been trying to make since I realized who I was and the level of life I wanted to live. I think that journey is different for a black man on many levels and, honestly, it feels really good to hear that situation reflected by someone I truly admire and see has gone through the work to be the man he is today.

Being a writer, it is hard for me to be bluntly critical of other artists and performers in a public venue. I don’t want to say ‘they suck’ because the truth is more nuanced than that. Case and point: Hasan Minhaj has flashes of comedic genius, but he isn’t the right fit for The Daily Show, as evidenced by his recent spate of appearances.

Again, he’s not awful, but he also isn’t what the audience has come to expect. Over the past few months following the (overdue) departure of Trevor Noah, the show has been rotating through a long list of guest hosts. Some get the script–by which I mean do justice to the legacy left by Stewart–while others see the format less as an intelligent and biting referendum on the news cycle and more as a playground for stuff they really like. Others still, like Minhaj (and frankly Noah) are bit-driven and truly incapable of carrying the weight of the multiple parts of the show. You have to be a special sort to carry the multiple parts and even more confident and team-oriented to allow your crew to do a lot of the lifting with you. That last part is where Noah failed. The show became about him and not about the show. It was Trevor Noah and the Daily Show and that showed in how much the focus was on him. Stewart focused on the issues and the controversies and is the only host among all I’ve seen able to carry out thoughtful and intelligent interviews with a variety of guests. You need that as part of the show.

Some Thoughts:

1. Johnathan Majors is going to win awards. He is suddenly the ‘it’ black male lead, and is getting praise from all corners. The Yale MFA is certainly good in some roles, but he does have a tendency to overact in others. Antman and the Wasp is a wonderful example of that forced gravitas. I’m not sure I buy the hype, but the hype is buying him some roles.

I’m coming at this new book from a different angle. The last one was written from the perspective of two of the four main characters. This one is from the perspective of a different one of the four (thus leaving the 3rd and final possible book from the 4th perspective… unless there is a 4th). This specific character choice is a male voice that is capable of reflecting a great deal of nuance in regards to what I want to say about this story world and how it treats race, mortality, and even family. I think this is a deeper approach than the last book and I intend to make it my best book ever. I’m excited for the opportunity to grow with each new writing, and this puts me back on the grind to being that writer of my own dreams.

Putting in the work!

Track season is upon us, so I thought I’d hit the wire this one time to talk a little about it. I’m excited about what the boys are doing this season. The Jr. Has a chance at the podium in the state championship. His team boasts the #1 200 runner in the state, and several top 5 or top 10 athletes. He’s a top 9 guy in the 39″ hurdles, which is solid for a 15 year old kid. He’s top 5 in Division 1 and is presently running exactly .09 off his best time in both the 110 and 300 hurdles. That is oddly in sync, but really good coming off the first meet since the broken leg.

The 8th grader ran 11.59 in the 75m Hurdles, which puts him first in the state, and would’ve been good enough for 7th in the nation last season. He needs to cut half a second off that to ensure the school record (and likely the US record). He’s got this. The team is looking stronger than they have in years, and I have hopes for them taking the whole thing this year. In truth I’m hoping the boys run some out of conference meets as independents. I want to see what they can do.

Some Thoughts:

1. On the last book of the Legend of Camelot series written by Bernard Cornwell. Excellent writing. Interesting perspectives on the rise of Christianity. Loving the journey, hating the characters I am supposed to hate. Well written indeed.

I reached back to 6.952. in order to think about that time and place where I was talking about the Garbage in, garbage out philosophy. That was a real one back then, and I see now how my kids have totally fallen into a cycle of nothing but that. Here is what it looks like: An hour or two of Apex, an hour of bad youtube, back to Apex, back to youtube. Pause to shower and or play games solo. Back to Youtube. Back to Apex. Watch some Anime… repeat. I’ve been studying this cycle for about Three months now and it does not change other than what game and which particular youtube feed. Garbage breeds more garbage and a universe of understanding and being entertained by garbage.

I was in the muck of it when I wrote my last novel and now that I’m working on the new one I am hyper aware of the quality of what is going into my brainspace. I’m watching better TV (I hope) and really thinking about and diving into story with purpose. I have something to say this time. I want that Gibson level awareness with this sequel and I want to be able to point out a lot of the really dark crap that happens in a dystopian world. I missed that last time. It was way too clean and too easy for the protagonists. People gonna get hurt bad.

I tell you, Monday is the longest day of the week in spite of only teaching one class. Monday is a matter of falling back into the rhythm of the working world after a weekend of doing not that. It is often made worse by allowing myself to fall behind on matters such as grading and generally caring about my work life. I do believe in weekends being about family and self and escape from the routine (though a weekend routine is still a routine). So that is why Monday strikes like a heavy staff against my back over and again. By 7 pm I’m drained of all that resembles energy and fully in the realizing that tomorrow is yet another day of work.

I believe this is why Date Night Wednesday is a double edged sword. On the one hand it is a great way to end the work week. On the other I pile up so much during those days that I don’t ever get a chance to think about the date night to come–I’m too buys getting through three days of classes and figuring out when to grade.

Quite busy as of late and not really having the time or capacity (I hate that word) to come up with a structured blog. So, instead I’ll share…

Some Thoughts:

1. Just saying Capacity reminds me of the truly awful experience I had at ASU’s Piper Center for Creative Writing. That was a sinking ship and a cesspool of relationships that ran contrary to the workings of an actual writing center or promoting a writer’s existence. I did a quick scan of the staff page and discovered there really isn’t any staff listed. I do wonder if they finally just fell apart. They continue to put up a meager assortment of events and opportunities, which I was starting to properly develop…. no more, alas. It counts as a fail in my life and moreover a fail on their part.
2. Writing is not a fail, presently. I’m hard at work developing this new novel.. in my head. Imma put it on paper this week though.
3. Seriously, I am.