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Twas the Night Before Christmas
After Covid ravaged our lands
Twas a night we made merry
and made Christmas plans

We gathered at Grandma’s to give gifts and cheer
We left with full bellies and pajamas to wear

Twas a night we found happiness in one and all
When we looked forward to summer and remembered the fall.

Christmas is coming! Said no one in the place
Yet the sentiment hung off of everyone’s face.
This would be the first time we 8 would gather near
We’d not shared a Christmas morning in all of these years

As I write these lines the boys sit and they chatter
Moments like these is why holidays matter.
It is about love and family all around
About laughter about music about the house filled with sound

Yet I sit in the darkness listening to the clack of these keys
And still in this moment I find myself pleased.
I helped make this happen. I helped us become one.
I helped raised these 5 boys I’m proud to call sons.
I helped with a daughter, I helped her grow up
I helped my partner raise 18 young pups.

All of this I did because I found what matters most
In this special woman true love found its host.
In the end this is what brings me the most cheer
To say, Merry Christmas, and I love you, dear.

I originally planned to call this post Matrix INC, but that felt too on the nose. What follows is a ten-minute rant describing with some brief details where the Matrix movie went off the rails, why and how. So… SPOILER ALERT!

It sucked.

It had a few moments that were worth noting, but I can count those on one hand and they comprise, in total, thirty minutes of what felt like a 2.5 hr movie. It starts out as a very META nod to itself and ends like a heavy handed woke slap in the face. All in all, the film worked hard to employ and highlight marginalized individuals and their allies. In truth this quickly was seen as the focus of the film with the White Male identity shown very clearly as the ‘Bad Guy’

This shit was way woke, Y’all.

Too woke. By that I mean the Matrix is a film dedicated to presenting an idea without the effort of veiling the idea in an interesting and entertaining construct, but instead desconstructing that construct and asking the audience OUT LOUD why we need such constructs in order to be entertained. It was about the idea–no–the journey of the Directors own transformation and was her story of how she became empowered. Except she already did that. She also reminds us that she did that by peppering the cast with the people from the show in which the message was initially shared (Sense8).

It quite literally poked fun at the tried and true action sequences the franchise birthed and then expected us to enjoy rote versions of the same sequences interspersed between on screen trash talking of such things. Oh, and it crapped on the entire concept of Zion in order to push the concept of Io, which also falls under the “I’m going to hit you with my message until you idiots get it’ thrust of the film.

I did not like it. I love a film that allows me to lose myself and after to think about what it meant and how that meaning should impact me. This did none of that. All it had was unraveled meaning as though the green code were in fact the meaning running down the screen like vertical subtitles. It was a hard miss and I hope they don’t do more… Except, one of the characters literally announced he was off to make his own spinoff in the middle of a poorly timed and scripted fight sequence, so… there’s that.

Playoffs!

Here is the problem: The Tuesday games pushed back the waiver wire, which means I cannot get a sense of who I can get until tomorrow and I need people. I really need people. I lost a Starting WR and a Starting RB in the same Bucs game on the same Bucs team. Eggs… basket. On the bright side, the Covid-based decimation of the Chiefs suggests that I may get real production out of Edwards-Helaire. Beyond that I am really going to need to dumpster dive for untapped talent.

I did in fact win with that horrible record of mine. Both lower seeded teams advanced, and I was lucky enough to draw the straw that has me facing the kid who doesn’t score so much. He has this luck, you see. Whenever anyone plays him they cannot seem to muster up points. He doesn’t score much himself, leading to the issue at hand: Will I have enough talent to take him down?

Some Thoughts:

1. Still haven’t watched trading places… I hope it holds up, less I have to find another film to replace it on my hastily scribed list…
2. Going to watch the matrix tonight. Details to follow..

Having just finished watching The Family Stone I am left with a clear reminder of the idea of a Pleasant Fiction–the one where everything seems possible and works out, in some way, in the end. It is an enjoyable film as all of my Christmas selections are. I adore the players and the circumstance and… there is Clare Danes. This is a holiday tradition that goes along with a short list of films that must be properly consumed every xmas season. It is under these conditions that I present, for your consideration, the twelve films of Christmas.

12. Jingle All The Way. Though dated, the film presents a charm reminiscent of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles that reminds you of the absolutely crazy nature of getting that perfect xmas gift. As we all know, there will always be that seasonal sellout gift!

11. The Grinch. Jim Carey’s physical acting is a constant xmas treat

10. Die Hard. Happy trails, Hans. or should I quote, “Now I have a sub machine gun. Ho, Ho, Ho.”

9. The Best Man Holiday. This is what I imagined grown up christmas would look like. Didn’t quite work out like that.

8. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Chevy Chase carries.

7. ELF. There is nothing bad about this movie. I laugh out loud every single time and I love that I have the chance to see this film each year.

6. Miracle on 34th Street. Classic.

5. The Family Stone. Rachel McAdams reminds me of my stepdaughter. Nuff said.

4, 4 Christmases. The drama! The comedy! It just stands up well.

3. Last Christmas. My love for all things George Micheal not withstanding, this is a charmer for the ages and an instant classic. I’ve watched it multiple times since it came out.

2. Trading Places. Didn’t see that coming, did you?!

AND Finally: Love Actually. It brings me to tears every damn time and there is no way of getting around that. This is a fantastic Christmas fantasy that I would not go without.

Well, I won that 1st playoff round game. Wow. I honestly did not see that coming. To make matters even more interesting, my partner won her match as well, making it two losing teams beating two winning teams to advance in the playoffs. As the kids say, ‘they sold the bag’. I just said ‘as the kids say’ which, as it turns out, I say a lot. Almost as much as I say… a lot. Language is a very interesting morphing construct in the hands of cool generators and meme machines like kids. But I digress…

This season was a promising mix of fun and excitement. I participated in three leagues and this beachborn home league is the only one that offers me a viable shot at the playoffs or at victory really. If I can win out then I secure that bag and that trophy. At least I won’t need to wear the sad toilet bowl. Turns out the automated bot that rounds out the league wears that this year, prompting a revision of the rules of how the draft is ordered. Now we are going to stage a lottery for the first (maybe even first 3?) picks or maybe even the draft order itself. This is worthy of a conversation and a little bit of math to determine equitable numbers in the situation.

Some Thoughts:

1. I saw Spiderman. I want to geek out on it, but that is going to need to wait until tomorrow.

First of all, I really need to get back to some order in this blog. I feel the blog often goes as the life goes and the life has gone full leisure. This is not to say there is not work to be done. However, there is work not getting done. I think I need a touchstone. I’m better with a daily touchstone that involves productive work vs. games. Holiday touchstones are great but temporary and provide a strange sense of timelessness. I don’t need timelessness. I need time management and goals. That is how I get things done. Of course, holidays aren’t about that life. They are about sleeping in and enjoying the family and that has its own joys.

Some Thoughts:

1. I really hate the idea of Lacrosse being so bourgeoisie given its roots in the NAN community. It feels like football was structured in the early days. Perhaps The NAN will take their game back. In my lifetime I mean.
2. Still a chance my sad little 4-9 fantasy team advances in the playoffs. Such is fantasy… Just don’t sell the bag.

Blogging from the main office for the first time in a while. It is now a week before Xmas and I am still thin on the presents. Of course, the idea was to be light on gifts as we gave each other the gift of travel, but I still grabbed a handful of fun and interesting things that kept the price of gifts below… a few hundred. I am happy in my life right now and it feels like I haven’t been able to say that for a long time. It took a ton to get here. I’ve struggled and struggled with a great deal both personally and from interpersonal issues. Yet I am still standing… sitting, actually, as I construct this blog.

Toughest takeaway from the trip: I lost my charger for my mac. Those things cost a bundle not to mention it had the special adapter my partner gave me a year ago. Sucks.

Best takeaway from the trip: All we need is each other. We find entertainment in that and in the world around us without trying too hard and in spite of what else may be going on.

Some Thoughts:

1. Been rebuilding the home network. Switching out the switches to models that are less than 5 years old. That ought to edge the speed up a tad when traffic is heavy. We added a mesh network designed to improve range and signal strength. So far so good. Now… what to do with the old gear?
2. Probably need to wait until monday to get back to the fantasy novel world. Time is not there right now.
3. I am very bad at Madden. It disturbs me how much I fail at that game compared to all 5 of my boys. I just don’t get it. Definitely need to put more time on task in order to get better. There’s a few sites I like, but Madden School is probably the best.

The blogging continues to be tough. In the beauty of the holiday it is hard to find time to do what needs doing. By needs to be doing I am speaking of the words. I haven’t been diligent at all as a writer and this blog has suffered as much as the momentum for building the world. I need to get back into the flow, but I don’t know that it happens pre-xmas. In terms of the holiday itself I am doing well with getting gifts right and getting glee going but I am losing coherence in a sense. Everything is happening at once and that makes it hard to focus and hard to be successful at any one thing. Tomorrow ought to be better.

One thing at a time.

Actually, this one is about football, regardless of where it comes from. I’m in the playoffs now and the first game of the week treated me fairly badly. My qb was outscored by his reciever. His Wr was Tyreek. My QB is Mahomes. This is not a good start, Still, hope rings eternal. It was only a 3 point loss. I have many more players to play and the prediction still has me on top. Life is good this holiday and I am working towards developing a healthy amount of glee.

I also don’t have a great deal to say this fair evening. I suppose the problem is being drained to nothing late at night yet again.

Some Thoughts:

1. Seriously though, I gotta get better at blogging at a reasonable time. I’m bad at the game.

My partner reminded me recently that I spend a fair amount of time thinking and talking about death. This is not, of course, a good thing. I am working to rationalize the inevitable but I am also wasting the possible by rationalizing that which cannot be changed. How long one lives does not shift the fact of the end and acceptance of that fact is entirely irrelevant. Perhaps it is easier and more useful to continue to rage against the dying of the light. So, I will do that instead.

While I am still here I have a great many things I wish to accomplish and see accomplished. There is a chance my mid kid gets some D1 level offers this next sports year. He’s a brilliant mind and a solid athlete who is coming into his own physically. He’s ready to build and emerge into something greater athletically, but I really want to make sure he nurtures that beautiful mind as well. That has to be encouraged on my part. I’ve been told I’m not so good at that side of things, and I want to get much much better.

I have been thinking about this book a lot this vacation—the fantasy one I mean. I don’t know that it is just a book. It is a story world worth sharing, and a part of the conversation my partner and I have been having is about that sharing and how to do that. There are options. There is money to be made selling through Amazon and making the world a thing. I’ve also thought about the idea of a Kickstarter to build up the world, but in order for that to work right I have to build up the knowledge and appreciation of who I am as a writer. I haven’t done that much. I have a plan for that too.

I am going to Gencon. It is long past time, but this time is about both business and pleasure. The novel should be dropping at this Gencon, which is the perfect timing for selling my services to other gaming houses. I need to be out in the space meeting people and making the connections that could get me working more and pursuing this career. I also want to play some RPGs with great GMs. This is the venue for both things to happen.

I am anxious to expand more as a writer and share the ideas I have with the world and hopefully discover an interested audience. There are stories that need telling.