Month: July 2012

I am a city boy. I grew up in NYC and spent most of my time walking the streets and enjoying the world outdoors. Fast forward twenty or so years and here I am in the desert with a remarkably ordinary backyard. In fact, this is the type of yard that is so powerfully boring that my own kids are loathe to play outside.

What can be done to turn an ordinary backyard into something worth coming home to? My yard consists of a patch of grass rimmed by an L shaped porch against a slope of rock and trees. This is all contained in a 30 x 45′ rectangle of useful space. Now a lot of the space is wasted. The slope eliminates a great deal of the useful ground and the unkempt grassy area is imposing to the boys.

What I want is something that inspires calm but also leaves room for fun. I want the patch of grass, but I also want the space around that grass to be warm and inviting. I want to feel like I can sit in the yard and not be trampled by bugs of all flavors. I want to know there is shade available and a place to sit and have a drink. I want a happy spot.

Happiness is supposed to be the guiding principle of home, and we have created a space that looks okay but doesn’t feel all that happy just yet. It should be the first thing you think about in your indoor and especially outdoor spaces.

Some Thoughts:

1. The clock says I am completing this post near 3:12 AM. What time zone is my server located in? Reminds me that the world moves on very different schedules and my time, no matter what part of the USA I happen to be in at the time, is not the most important time to everyone else.

In a perfect world we would be comfortable having commercials where Wendy (namesake of Wendy’s) is the sexy and friendly spokeswoman that drives your business towards her establishment. We have come far enough that there are a handful of commercials starring the illusive owner of the Wendy’s empire, but most are run by skinny red-headed stand ins that are there more for their looks than any serious acting chops. In a visual world, modern media is predicated on spokespersons who are attractive in a specific way. We don’t leave room for all forms of beauty, because it doesn’t vibe with the beauty meme.

The Beauty meme is the idea that beauty is either X, Y, or Z. In reality beauty is subjective, but in many nations beauty is prescribed by history and the controlling class. They decide what beauty means and populate the media with that image. Therefore we fall in love with the idea of what is beautiful, even though that idea wasn’t originated inside of us. In order to become a part of society, we conform to the mores, one of which is dating and marrying those who society finds most desirable.

What does that mean to Wendy? It means that because she cannot look exactly the way we have defined beauty, she doesn’t sell products as well as a younger thinner version of herself. So, Wendy cannot be herself and feed us burgers.

Memes, Talis, whatever you choose to call them are created as a result of a need–be it for  independence, unity, uniqueness, or perhaps even a need to just feel good about something. Arizona mastered the self-created/personally altered situation. In other words, we do stuff here in AZ that is not done in this fashion anywhere else. Why? Because we want to be special, no matter how dumb we seem as a result. SB1070–our self-created immigration law. Yes, we forgot that immigration is the domain of the federal government. Yes, we don’t care. However, that isn’t the most egregious of our ‘changes’. Here are some Arizonisms that I could think of in 10 minutes flat:

1. We call the DMV the MVD. Why? Because we can. Nevermind the fact that the letters are arranged in the traditional fashion in most other states in the union. We changed in order to be special. We are the kid who nobody wanted to play with, so we went off in the corner and started our own game. It looks just like the one everyone else is playing, but just slightly weird enough so you know it is different and find yourself wondering why.

2. You can be convicted of a DUI in Arizona without actually driving a vehicle. If I get drunk off my butt and decide not to drive home and instead call my wife to pick me up, I can still be arrested, so long as I have keys to the car she is driving. Yes, even if it is not the set of keys presently being used. This is some sort of presumed intent. Of course with the new DUI rules, you can be nabbed for a DUI without any alcohol or drugs being involved, especially if they draw blood. If it is in your system and you fail the road test, you are impaired. Levels be damned.

3. In AZ we allow people to carry concealed weapons without any firearms training. Worst still, many many people carry guns out in the open, hanging from their hip as it were. Now, if I am a cop and I encounter someone strapped with a gun, am I going to be concerned? You betcha. Imagine how I feel as an unarmed civilian…

4. We blame the victim. Former Senator Russel Pearce blamed the victims of the tragic Colo shooting for getting shot. He asked why they weren’t more like the brave men of United Flight 93. Okay, Pearce, 93 is a thinly veiled myth. We shot that plane down, because it was a direct threat to the thousands on the ground. I’m not proud of it, but I understand. BEYOND THAT: How can you blame someone for 1) not carrying their own gun into a movie theater (he was upset they weren’t prepared for that scenario) and 2) not trying to fight off a man carrying an AK-47, shotgun, and pistol while wearing a bulletproof vest and a gas mask in a room filling with tear gas? Of course, O’l Russel woulda leapt up from his walker and beat the hell out of that kid without taking one stray round. Or he wouldn’t have moved at all…

I don’t think people live at a set level of mental and physical exertion. As with a wave there is a rising and falling action. However, I believe we have the ability to control our rising and falling actions through the incredible power of will.

I haven’t heard from my fantasy football league yet, but I gotta admit I’m getting psyched about the challenge. Our league is a pay league; a group of football watchers who plunk down a fee to see which of us can collect the best ‘point scorers’ in the NFL. I know many NFL players, beat writers, and even fans consider Fantasy Football to be a powerfully stupid activity. It is literally football out of context. We’re betting on the skills of individuals (and occasionally defenses) in a team sport. So, this post challenges the myths and stereotypes of Fantasy Football. I seek to validate what I’ve come to enjoy as my ‘paper sport’. Fantasy Football is a colorful extraction of an intrinsic part of professional football.

What is fantasy football? It is a bet. You bet on how well players will perform against a given team under a very specific set of variables in a given week. In essence, fantasy football team owners are laymen NFL scouts. We determine mismatches and orchestrate lineups in order to take advantage of those mismatches. This little step made the Patriots great. Now I’m not saying I’m like the Patriot coaching staff, but I am trying to be a student of the game in that same fashion in order to play a game that is both fun and earns me a little bit of coin just in time for the Super Bowl party.

I know this post tries to make fantasy football team owners seem more than we are, but I enjoy playing and I do learn more about the game from it. Fantasy football makes me a better football coach to all of the kids I lead unto the field on saturdays. That has to be worth something.

(transcribed from shoddily handwritten text)

Yesterday was tough for me. The Big Evil Wave ™ is still cascading over my life, lately resulting in massive knee pain made worse by slamming into a coffee table knee first. A younger man would shrug it off. I am no longer a younger man. As a result I was in no mood to deal with my kids (which is becoming a more and more constant state of being), they learned to keep their distance and entertain themselves for large stretches of time. This shows that I am developing a really negative attitude towards childcare and have skewed priorities.

The Big Evil Wave ™ is always self-inflicted. It is, after a fashion, me telling the universe that I need to be checked. Check me it does; always hard enough to make the point impossible to miss. This year’s points are crystal:

1. My priorities are out of whack.
2. I am too careless with my money.

The first point is a painful one to admit, because it shows me that I am trying to hard to escape fro my daily routine, which means I am unhappy with the home life. This past year taught me that I think about anything else while spending time with the kids, they’ll know and they will try to destroy whatever else I am thinking about. If I try to work on that other thing, it’ll be ruined, as will my time with the kids. Part of that is inattention blindness, but it is mostly the willful way these kids refuse to be ignored–as they should.

They deserve my full attention. I need to become more proactive about organizing and grading priorities. I need to shape my time in a way that allows me those moments to do nothing but hang out with the family as well as those moments to work and to write. Most of all, I need to be clear about what is most important.

The money issue is equally rough Isn’t it always?

Some Thoughts:

1. My job used to be my vacation. That is hardly the case these days, because I haven’t found balance yet. I need to figure out a way to do that.

2. Wearing your shades on the back of your shirt is stupid. There, I said it. Someone had to. In a world where 50 Shades of poo is a NYT best seller, we need to start calling bullshit when we see it.

No, I didn’t give up on the rule. In the financial poostorm that is daily life my account lapsed–triggered by a change in banks (We no longer endorse BOA here). When switching banks and bill pay accounts there is certain to be some lag and resulting drama. The last few weeks have been all of that and worse. Hopefully the financial madness will stop trending and I can exchange that level of drama for a few weeks of focus on rebuilding myself.

“Some people just want to see the world burn.” -Alfred

Last night’s premiere of Nolan’s final Batman film was marred by the type of violence theater patrons expected to see on the screen as opposed to being victimized by it. A shooter stormed into a Batman premiere in Aurora, Colorado and opened fire. At least 12 died and 58 more were injured according to CNN. People are looking for answers. They want to know how and why and what we would do next. Sadly, there are no answers and I believe that a month or three from now we will crawl back into our shells and allow ourselves to forget. We will do this, because it is the only way we can maintain the illusion of safety.

I have already heard, “he didn’t look like the type to do that.” Well, what does that type of person look like? I believe that, to allow ourselves to feel safe, we ascribe physical qualities to the behaviors we seek to avoid. So when someone says, “he doesn’t look like…” they are trying to rationalize their world view with the reality of the actions that occurred. It is a useful and foolish exercise, because what you are doing is slipping back into that illusion of safety where none actually exists.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims. This crime did not need to happen, and I suspect it happened because the person wanted to, as the quote suggests, see the world burn. This was not an assault on Batman. It may have been the venue because the nature of the film would maximize the number of victims and help to reveal the deeper motive. In fact, some reports suggest the guy died his hair red and claimed to be the joker (who actually has green hair). This event should serve as a reminder of the fragility and illusory nature of a safe society. No, this is not Kandahar. More of us Americans believe in shared civility than not, but in this age of advanced weaponry and accessibility it does not take very much to hide who you truly are and create a situation where you can cause a great deal of damage.

I doubt the shooter is the only person in our society who wants to see the world burn, and I know he won’t be the last to make it happen.

By now Jeremy Lin is a household name. In a sport where Asian Americans terrorize high school courts up and down the seaboards, college athletics has not found much use for Asians in the NBA. There was Yao, and a handful of other VLA’s (Very Large Asians) who broke through the stereotype barrier and became NBA ballers, but for the most part Asians have been shut out.

Then Linsanity happened.

Even his own teammates aren’t sure how or why it happened, but for a 25+ span of basketball games, Jeremy Lin was a beast. The fact he is Asian-American is extremely relevant to this for one simple reason: Lin is a crowd player. He is the type of athlete that steps up in front of a big crowd of cheering fans. He feeds off it the way a baby suckles at his mother’s breast. It nourishes him and makes him a better player. This, and the fact that his offense scheme at the time gave him an opportunity to make plays, created that incredible stretch of games where everyone wanted to tune in and see this kid break some ankles.

The other day the NY Knicks said goodbye to Lin. They refused to match the very silly offer sheet put forward by Lin’s former franchise, the Houston Rockets. Lin did not want to go. He knows what the NY crowd is and loves it. However, it is very difficult to turn down a deal that offers you nearly 15 million dollars in the third year. That third year is what made NYC say goodbye. Based on the state of the Luxury tax, The Knicks would have been paying nearly 30 million dollars that year for Lin alone. I am sorry but as exciting as a player Lin was to enjoy, 30 million is too steep a price to pay.

In shedding themselves of Lin the Knicks have submitted to another truth, which is that the team really does belong to Carmelo “Black Hole” Anthony. To paraphrase what I heard one reporter say, what good is Lin if he gets to half court and Anthony sticks out his left hand and demands the ball. Everybody knows once Anthony gets the ball he isn’t giving it back. I believe (and Anthony’s benching tonight at the Olympic games further proves) that Carmelo Anthony is a gifted, perhaps even unstoppable, scorer who is completely incapable of finding any rhythm without the ball in his hands. Having him and Lin on the court at the same time is a joke; a 30 million dollar joke at that, and the Knicks saved themselves a ton of drama by letting that one go.

Lin may find success in Houston. Based on what I’ve seen, he is a flash in the pan player who can be extremely good in the right offense. I don’t know if Houston will build around what he can offer, but looking at the pieces that are in place, I suspect he will do just fine. This would not have been the case in NYC where he would have been a PG without the B-A-L-L. It is a sad result of trying to successfully exist in the wake of a black hole.