Month: January 2015

I must admit that I don’t know much about the world at large, and certainly less about my country specifically. This became rather clear as I watched 2016 presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee square off against Jon Stewart in what appeared to be a largely one-sided battle of wits. Huckabee, in his new book, divides Ameica into two basic regions—the coastal know it all people who supposedly feel they are greater than, and the inner-continental Americans who live very different lives than their coastal brethren. Huckabee stopped short of equating our country to China, but it was obvious that he saw a cultural and perhaps class divide, yet conveniently sought to ignore the cultural relativism inherent therein. Still, it sparked in me a question of understanding. How much do I know about the world I live in?

Not much. I don’t know that I’m even consciously aware of Arizona’s sub-cultural diaspora. For example, it is only now that I’ve begun to realize that two of the three largest magazine markets have nothing directly to do with sex. Playboy and their ilk will always dominate shelf space, but looking beyond that, a lot of real estate is being allotted to crossfit magazines and gun journals. I could’ve guessed about the guns. Any state responsible for a reinvigorated minute man movement and a slew of Walmart shootings (one of which I was quite nearly the victim of) is bound to be about the guns. The crossfit is more of a surprise. At the same time it is an ‘of course/doh!’ moment as well. I’d openly guess that we lead the world in number of yoga pants per capita. Fitness is a thing here. A trendy thing.

It would take longer than ten minutes to dissect it all but I can speculate that the enormous Mormon church plays a role in this. Everyone I know within the religion talks up fitness like a tenet. Every female Mormon I know is on page with fashion and trends. That combination is ripe for crossfit. In fact, in the town I live in (supposedly 40K large) there are no less than three functional crossfit studios, not to mention the numerous unassociated classes and clinics. We even have our own Tough Mudder.

The point is, I don’t know my own surroundings, which is to say there is always more to learn about where you live and why the people of that place are the way they are.

Some Thoughts:

1. Classes started today. Felt good to be back in the classroom, though I clearly need more time to rev up my teaching engine.
2. Some people are always victims. Some people are victims and refuse to admit it.

The hallmark of any truly great coach or player is what they do after they’ve had a few moments to collect themselves and see what the ‘game’ is presenting them. This holds true in life as well as it does in sports. For my professional life I’m about to enter my second half, both as a professor over the course of this school year and as a writer with two decades of work under his belt.

So, what changes? As I said before, it is about what the ‘game’ gives you. If I look at my ‘professor life’ I’ve been dealt a deck of students who are largely apathetic about the learning experience and limited in terms of time available to do assignments. They and I are similar in that second area. I too struggle with finding the time to work. This isn’t precisely about not having the time, but about allocating the time to the work properly. I spend way too much time watching TV. So, first thing is to ditch the channels and limit what I watch. This is going to let me allocate more time to writing and focus on the shows I actually care about and can get much cheaper through other means (Hulu, Amazon, Netflix…)

Second is to develop a health schedule for body, mind, and soul. Followers of the Talis know that this is my achilles heel. Well, he died so I don’t have to. I’m going to recognize my lack of invincibility and schedule lightly–giving myself wiggle room to goof off, but sticking to some hard hour ranges that create a routine. I am also giving myself time to grade and scheduling as much as I can in advance. These are the areas that hurt me last semester, so I’m going to make them my strengths and make this whole experience one that makes me a better teacher and writer in the process.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. My last cat didn’t use a litter box, so i am struggling with figuring out an effective way to clean and keep clean the area around this one. She is kicking litter everywhere and it has been tough finding something that contains it well.
2. Today I’m sitting down with the boys and discussing our favorite shows so we can finally ditch Directtv. I’ll talk about what that plan looks like once I have it all figured out.

It occurs to me that my kids are too hyped up on technology. Its my fault, of course. I have a video game obsession that, as of late, extends to binge watching TV shows (Arrow) and slotting (yeah, I’m in Shadowrun mode) the occasional movie. Wolf of Wall Street was my flick of the night, and I can see why people feel Leo DiCaprio is a big deal.

But this isn’t about me.

I’m thinking that it is important to achieve a balance. Maybe some days without tech or limiting their daily exposure (cut down on binge watching–for all of us). I wasn’t worried about it until this past weekend when so many kids came knocking on our door to play with the boys and these gamehead kids of mine always opted to stay in the house and watch shows or play games until I physically ‘throw them out the club’.

I don’t think I’m alone in this problem with tech. I just feel like I’m doing a poor job managing it.

Some Thoughts:

1. I really have to give it to the Seahawks. When Wilson threw up that prayer of a pass for 2pts I was thinking 2 points the other way. Instead of that happening, the Seahawks converted, scored again in OT and are headed to the Superbowl. I can only hope that sorta luck rubs off on my 6-7 yr Hawks and not on the 10-12 yr Hawks my team plays two weeks in a row.
2. Watching the Wolf of Wall Street is a reminder of the debauchery that was rampant in NYC while I was growing up. Its also a reminder of how far technology has come.

I’ll start with the good news.

The 6-7 team came up with their second win, a close victory over the Cowboys. Roll Seahawks… I’m pleased to say the coach’s kids were pivotal. One had a pick 6 and mine caught a tough short pass and took it to the house for 6. They look like the second most proficient of the three teams I coach.

The 8-9 team looks the best. They looked outstanding today in a 28*-24 loss that will always be an asterisk loss. See, the Bengals weren’t playing by the rules and the refs just let it go. I tried complaining at first, but the league is clear about not being allowed to argue with the refs. The Bengals scored three touchdowns on illegal double pass plays. Without those TDs, we crushed them. Our defense played solid throughout and our offense only suffered a few hiccups while moving the ball very well. The problem is still getting enough kids to touch the ball. I could’ve done what the Bengals did and gave the ball to the same couple of great athletes, but thats not the way we are supposed to play.

I don’t think my 10-12 team is quite sure how to play. In truth, I think my 10-12 defensive coach is getting upset about the lack of offense and, at this point, has to be pointing the finger at me. I deserve a lot of the blame for not getting the kids prepared and maybe still calling plays that are ineffective. The thing is, I’ve seen these plays work all the way up through adult league including 13-16 and when we execute them, the boys are slowly moving down the field. Slow is the problem. Slow and impatient. They’re moving too slowly out of the backfield and they’re too impatient with the short plays looking for the big bomb. We know that the bomb doesn’t work–not for us. We lost our second straight game 25-6. At least we scored an offensive TD this time.

What burns me is the 8-9 game. I recognize it is a loss on paper, but I can’t even call it that. This is still an undefeated team in my mind. We only really got beat by the refs. Next week is a new week and we are due for serious payback on whatever poor team is on the schedule.

I don’t want to talk about the upcoming semester, or the slate of playoff games, or the son that is feet away hacking up a lung behind his closed bedroom door as he’s been doing for the last few nights. Not the B.S. of Washington politics. Not the poor news coverage of cable news. Not Charlie Hebdo. Actually, I want to talk about food and neighborhood.

I spent a little time in Gilbert’s new Zinburger location, located on the same block as the upcoming Lolo’s Chicken and Waffles. When I told my friends I wasn’t exactly a fan, they scoffed. I get it. The location represents a shift towards mature, fancy, and somewhat commercial flare reminiscent of well-known Scottsdale. That’s exactly why I don’t like it.

Gilbert has always been a small town vibe. The food may not always be locally sourced but the cooking and the service feels very Gilbert and doesn’t feel like it is trying too hard to be something else. These new places opening bring with them a level of haughtiness and fakeness I’m quite uncomfortable with. On the other hand, maybe this is just evolution.

 

 

 

10:11 pm: There is a real chance I get to go to bed at a time not normally reserved for vampires. It is these late evenings that I haunt, hoping to find moments of clarity to fill the white space with words and thoughts and ideas. It hasn’t worked as planned. I think it is important to form a lasting relationship–partnership even–between your physical, emotional, and intellectual selves. I need to understand the rhythms of all three in order to stay energized, productive, and effective in all aspects of my life.

Headed towards forty, I’ve figured out a few things about how I work (or don’t), including the things that motivate me, the ways I can be effective, how I work (which tends to be contrary to the aforementioned effectiveness), and why I work. What isn’t in question is the application of my hours. Clearly I spend more time doing things I should not vs. things that I should. Its funny, I spend hours every week teaching students how to wake up into their lives yet I struggle daily with how to exist in my own…

Some Thoughts:

1. Arizona doesn’t care about elementary education. I’m not speaking from a political standpoint, but actual bonds and the ability to pay enough teachers to man the schools in a way that promotes education. 36 school bonds were up for vote in this last election and 12 failed. That means that a lot of teachers are losing their jobs come summer, and a lot of students are going to be put in a position to be unsuccessful in the coming year. I wonder if this is a facet of being a so-called retirement state?

Football, be it flag or fantasy, pro tackle or college or kids, is a central component of my life during the fall and winter months. It can be mood effecting in a sun-deprivation-like way. Take this weekend for example: The wins and losses as a coach and as a fan really stuck with me. Watching my 10 yr old destroyed by what will hereafter be referred to as ‘grown ass men’ was unpleasant. Watching several players struggle (including my own boys) in wins was unpleasant. Watching Ohio State dominate was unpleasant. Watching the Broncos be dominated was unpleasant. In short, little felt good this weekend. On the other hand, it gives me hope and direction for this weekend.

Practices start tonight and I’m invigorated by ideas and a certainty that despite the fact that the level of competition goes way up for all the teams I coach and watch, this will be the weekend of pure success.

 

It better be, or I’ll be pissed.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I’m back to writing pen and paper lists. A friend bequeathed me a handful of small notebooks, which triggered a certain level of nostalgia, leading me back into the realm of notebook writing. The immediacy of it is appealing. It is still faster for me to write than to type—though not by much these days. I’m still vying to be thoughtwired so nothing ever has to leave me through my hands or lips.

Today at the gym I went through a set of stomach exercises. Afterwards pain rippled through my belly fat like lightning. That was the moment I recognized that I needed to start with the deep core muscles. I’ve been quietly exercising, nibbling away at the lethargy that dominates my life. Healthy body healthy mind is a good motto to follow, and starting at the core is the way to clear up a lot of things.

This started with belly fat. I was looking at pictures that are half  decade old and realized I had a bunch of belly fat even back then. It infects you–a disease that eats away at every part of you from creativity on down through self esteem. The physical aspects are equally damaging. I have knee pain, a sharp reduction in cardiovascular fitness, and steeply reduced speed. All in all, I’m a mess. So how to fix it?

Patience, courage, determination. The beauty of this still-young internet is that there is a wealth of free information out there on everything. I found plenty of sites to help me understand how to exercise and eat, but the execution of these things is in my court.

Lets see how it goes.

That’s a lot better than saying rant.

I’m not in a place where I have terribly much to rant about. The truth is the obstacles, situations, and challenges in my life are all extremely manageable so long as I step up to the task and manage it. This even extends to my peculiar and seemingly unmanageable football problem. That problem is having a very young and small 10-12 yr old team when the people we are going up against are older, faster, more physically developed, and on occasion, better coached.

I feel like Rex Ryan.

Still, even that is manageable. A friend reminded me that coaching shouldn’t be the thing that brings me down. In another unrelated conversation we waxed philosophically about focusing on the experience instead of the outcome. Everything is related though, isn’t it? The day after we lost our first regular season game (2^nd game overall) all my attention was on devising a scheme to win. At some point this morning I connected with that past conversation and decided that I wasn’t going to worry about winning games anymore. I was going to focus on the experience—on going into practice and into games with the mindset of creating situations that teach my players how to be better, mentally tougher, and more resistant to tidal nature of self confidence.

Now I gotta figure out how to do that in my own daily life. The best teachers are the ones who translate their own life experience in a way that vibes and jives with what the students understand. I’ve ebbed and flowed in my ability to do that, leaving me with a sense of understanding of how to get better (and thus happier) as a teacher of all. Part of it is about learning, part about writing, and part about taking that conversational advice: focusing on the experience of daily life.

1. Turns out that insecurity leads one to believe that if people are laughing, they’re laughing at you. It usually takes me a second to remember that I’m not that important. Or comical.
2. Sadly, I am going to have to start taking a couple of teams seriously. First among them: The Dallas Cowboys. Okay, they’re clearly a legit team. Three quarters into the playoff game and the unstoppable Packers look unable to start, let alone sustain, a drive. Tony Romo is a tough SOB. He’s getting shot up with painkillers before every game and fighting through the pain of the numerous crushing hits he takes to make some truly amazing plays.
3. Another interesting thing about Tony Romo: He’s Hispanic. Its interesting because when the sports stations talk about the breaking of the color barrier at QB, they only talk about the black QBs and fail to significantly address Romo’s civil rights role. Of course, I could have missed all that because when I hear the name Romo I tend to grimace and shut off the TV. We Giants fans can and should only pity Romo for toiling away his life with the second (or third) best team in the NFC east (current playoff standings notwithstanding, of course.)
4. One more point about Football—I find myself drawn to teams not because of the team and the legacy of that franchise, but because of players and coaches. That is why I enjoy watching the Broncos and Patriots these days and why I will at least make an effort to enjoy the Bills if they sign ‘Sexy Rexy’ Ryan.
5. Blonde remains the default hair setting for American hotness. I remain not a fan of that default. At what point did we decide that Norwegian beauty was the end all? That constant quest for blonde beauty does a great disservice to all of the other shapes and shades of beauty. Then again, I’ve noticed that the typical ‘blonde beauty’ is on default setting in more than looks. Step out of the stereotype, sister! Perhaps many of them cannot because the stereotype often becomes the aspiration/goal.
6. I’m not saying it is time to hang up my cleats, but it is long past time to stop lamenting over what sort of atheletic career I could have lead had I not been a motivational fail and start to live a life designed around healthful living and actually being the best version of myself.
7. Swanky-looking Wendy’s are rare and weird but also represent a wonderful location to escape and disappear into the feeling of the pads of my fingers against the keyboard. Writing is life.