Day: January 25, 2015

I often wonder how the joy of writing fades. I think some of that comes from why we liked to write in the first place. Its a lot like math in that respect. I loved math when I was a kid, because I could fly through the times tables and everyone thought it was absolutely cool. As I got older the math was tougher and the rewards were few and far between. Success didn’t reward nearly as much as failure penalized. For so many of us writing has come to embody that same philosophy. Few people are going to pat you on the back if you’re a great writer. Moreover, the idea of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ writing is almost entirely subjective.

 

As a result, many writers wind up disconnected from their feelings about writing and viewing the writing as more as a chore and a bore than something that helps us makes sense of the jumbled mess of emotions, thoughts, goals, and drive that constitute our soul.

 

The thing is, writing must come from the soul. Writing must allow you to connect with your creative self. I recognize that essay writing, such as the stuff done in college, doesn’t appear to allow you to access that creativity, but below the surface is a scalding lava flow of creative opportunity. Essays don’t have to be rote and dry. They should be a combination of form and passion.

 

The best writing comes when we are able to connect with the topic in some way and allow ourselves to stop thinking about how other people will feel about what we write or even how afraid we are to get those emotions out into the world, and to just sit down and write.

 

This year I want to get back to really enjoying the process of sitting down in front of a screen or with a pen and paper and just letting the words come out. All of the beautification and error checking comes as part of the revision process, which is the step that most collegiate writers skip entirely. That is what leads to a lot of collegiate writers and even professional writers thinking they are bad at writing or dismissing the written word entirely.

 

I like to think about writing the way I do about sports and even romance. If I quit the first time I swung a bat at a ball and missed, I would’ve never known the joy of connecting. If I gave up on finding a partner the first time a girl said, ‘no way, dude. You suck’ I wouldn’t have three incredible boys. It is easy to quit and easier to do so when everyone around you wants to quit too. We find camaraderie in failure, but guess what? We can find a greater camaraderie in success.

Writing I suppose. Though, I am fatefully behind the curve on something that should’ve been done long ago. It happens, but it shouldn’t and it has happened more over the last two years than over the last 12. Sometimes I wonder if it is the trials and tribulations of life, the conditions I create for myself, some deeper failing of my mind and spirit, or a combination of these myriad factors.

It has to be something that every writer goes through–that period when they wonder if they’re body is equipped to put out all the wonderful stuff the mind wants to do. Likewise is the mind prepared to stretch and expand to the point where it can release work on the scale necessary to be a (financially and publication wise) successful writer. I know that I’m slightly past the point where I realize I’m not that 19 year old kid who pulled all nighters four nights in a row to get a piece done ahead of schedule. No, its about scheduling properly, but more importantly it is about headspace and taking care of my mind, body, and spirit and making sure that there isn’t too much weighing down one part of that or the other and that all can exist in balance and help me to excel.

Its about sitting BIC and just putting the words on paper without fear of how they sound or negative feedback of a first draft or the fear that I can’t do it right or even do it at all anymore. It is about confidence and about heart.

I had a brief discussion with my 10-12 team about heart today. We dropped another game–again due to an offense that is failing repeatedly. The defense did their part. They gave up some points but nothing that couldn’t be overcome by this stripped down offensive gameplan. However, the players weren’t behind it. I saw their heads drooping and their spirits tumbling when the plays we did run were for short yardage. They didn’t get that we can win–win well–with a grinder game and without the splashy big plays that make them feel glorious. I don’t even want to try those, because they usually end in an interception and TD for the other team. No, we ended up beating ourselves and falling into silly turnovers and dropped handoffs and snaps whizzing over the QB’s head and one QB asking to not have to play QB anymore. That’s where I’m at with heart. They just don’t have that mental toughness yet.

I wonder if there’s a drill for that.