Day: March 9, 2015

Today I had the opportunity to watch two people I love very dearly become one team. I’m not talking Quidditch here. I’m talking about two people become lifelong partners in marriage. The wedding was a refreshing blast of love and happiness in a time that has been clouded by sadness and death. It was necessary and powerful and perfect in so many ways. The moment that held my heart most of all were the vows. The groom read a set of promises that were eloquent and deep and romantic. And then the bride said this wonderful man was the first person to ever love her for who she was at that moment and not who she was going to be or had the potential to be. In that moment my eyes grew wet and I remembered what it feels like to love yourself for who you are and not the person you have the potential to be.

In the space between those words I flashed between all her loves I’ve known and the people who’ve loved me and who I’ve loved and came back with an extremely short list of people who’ve ever loved me regardless—who’ve loved me without context, or pre-approval, or thought of who I can be or do for them, or what I can become. I don’t know that I can put myself on that list, and I’m the most important person on that list. I believe that if you can’t love yourself for who you are it is impossible to become who you intend to be.

Security blanket .com and other tales

 

Earlier in the day a friend brought up the topic of security blankets. I had one when I was a kid. It was a blue blanket meant for a full sized bed. When I was twenty my mom sent it along to me in a care package. I was surprised by how comfortable and right it felt to still have it fifteen years later. Now I’m about to be forty and I’ve given than old ratty blanket to the kids. Every once in a while I’ll curl up in it myself and reminisce about being young and feeling warm, safe, and comforted. Not everyone has a blankey, but most of us had a security blanket of some sort. They change over time. Mine changed. Security started to come in the form of electronic devices, but can cold metal and plastic really give you a sense of emotional comfort?

 

I don’t even go to the bathroom without technology anymore. Its become as much a part of me as the clothes I wear every day. The point of my blanket back in the day was to make me feel warm and safe. My kids feel warm and safe with the blanket, but it is hard to grasp how that could work for a kindle or another similar device. These things provide distraction, but the idea of the blanket is to make certain there is a feeling of safety and warmth and belonging. I’m not sure a digital security blanket would solve that problem.

 

Kids may need something to hold on to. They might also need distractions to keep them occupied in times and places where talking out of turn is bad. A device is good for that but seemingly bad for holding on tight and hugging. There is a purpose for everything, but not everything brings you the kind of security a kid needs.