Day: February 22, 2020

Sitting in the main area of the conference I find myself wondering what it is I want to say. I’ve been through so many sessions over the past day where artists are laser focused on what they want to say that I find myself asking within, “what do you want to say?”

I’m not entirely certain of that answer. In this new piece I am imagining race and caste, looking backwards at the African countries and at the Indian caste and apartheid and in many ways at my own American culture and the idealized conception of how class and race are interrelated. In a way I am also looking at tokenism.

I think what I do is convince myself that I am telling these high level stories using fantasy races of my own creation as parallels, but in reality what I am doing is telling cool stories about people who are different. About the land as well.

I think this story is a bit cli-fi too. Not sure about the when of things going into it, but I am sure about the isolation the land creates and that I have not thought about things like water which will truly matter.

So, what comes out of this is I learned a little bit about what I need to learn a little bit more about.

Some Thoughts:

1. When it does rain in the desert it is no small thing.

The above image represents my DISC reading. This newfangled ENFP (the old me) indicates who I am according to a series of questions in which I am given 4 options and must mark one positive (thumbs up), one in the negative (thumbs down) and leave the others alone. It felt a lot like a crap shoot, because the language was so similar to me in places that I was not entirely certain that my thumbs up was a significantly different statement from my thumbs down. Thus I found my way to this reading.

I learned about the existence of this thing from a coworker who was curious about the reading I would get. I believe I got as expected… mostly. I don’t know that the reading was so wrong, but I don’t know that it was right either.

I am a lot of things and I am different things at different times under different conditions. I don’t necessarily view myself as a constant save for the reality that I am constantly evolving myself as a response to stimuli–be it environment or other influence.

Some Thoughts:

1. First day of the conference I am helping run. Learned a lot from the experience. Things went well overall.
2. Still learning about myself and my squirrel focus. It remains a problem in conversations and writing.