Day: January 29, 2021

Categorical (miriam-webster.com)

1 : absolute, unqualified
2 a : of, relating to, or constituting a category
b : involving, according with, or considered with respect to specific categories

You switched to the military clock three months ago. Seeing the numbers flip over made the day feel real. It felt like.a reset. You felt like a reset everyday. you needed it. You needed to find a way to realize every yesterday was part of the past and that past grew more and more distant like receding tail lights. The past is exactly that: what happened. It is not what is happening or what is to happen. It is not the guide rule by which your life is set; the wire that leads backward and forward upon which your hook dangles unsafely.

The past is absolute and unflinching. Your future is unset and available. It can change and you can change with it. You only need to decide to do that and you and you only can decide what that looks like.

So, what does it look like? What is the shape of it? Is it the python curve of eternity looping back upon itself desperately until what was and what is intersect at the point where what will be is created? Perhaps, instead, it is also categorical. Perhaps it is available in a way you’ve never allowed yourself to be. Perhaps tomorrow is fresh, new, and healthy. Perhaps tomorrow you become.

The clock flips to 00:00. You begin.

Been on the writing grind this week and getting things done. It feels good. It feels solid in my bones to write and produce and finish and feel like I can get through things and go back to the longer stuff and not fall off the map. I call that growth as a writer. I am officially turning a corner towards my own success. I need it too. I’m broke.

Nevertheless, a corner was turned.

This is the beginning of something really good. This is a space where I think I can start to build up the writing and start creating and publishing in a variety of spaces and perhaps even get back into the world of video game design and scripting. I’d like to get to write for more video games. I’d like to write a comic book. There is a great deal of writing I want to do. Covid-19, as terrible as it has been, served as the Catalyst to be able to do a lot more stuff of this nature.

Some Thoughts:

1. Am I legit too old to get my student loans paid for? I fear I’m one of that nasty 12% who will not be covered by loan forgiveness. Grr….
2. That selfishness aside, it is pretty cool that this could become reality for so many.
3. Less cool is how the Stock market’s biggest Hedge funds have controlled the conversation about what is happening with the market and our basic freedoms to buy stock are being restricted because a dope reddit channel got enough people to game the system for themselves that the big hedge funds started losing money. As I always thought, the market is built to keep the rich in power and not to let anyone in or anyone to manipulate the system. It is a fixed system designed to rise and designed to work best for the oldest players and worse for the smallest and newest investors on the market. So long as they can shut down our buying power, we have no power.
4. In sum: Apparently we are not allowed to choose which stocks we want to go up. There has to be some sort of “market reason” beyond the collective agreements of thousands of investors. Or maybe the problem is that the old money brokers couldn’t use their algorithms to predict this and thus make more off it before we could. All stocks are bubble. This is just us driving the ability to determine when the bubble pops.