Low day.
I need to get back to turning Fridays into a fiction post. I just am not feeling it today. From time to time story wanders away from me, and I feel like I won’t ever be able to get it back. Those are the lowest days. Those are also the days I realize how much passion I have for the craft. I recognize that this week reflects a bit of an overload. I have a meeting in twenty minute for an upcoming project that I have devoted next to no energy towards. It is a passion project, but I have so much else going on that I cannot turn my passion towards that project and make it the best ever version of that type of writing.
That is the thing with me. Every time I press down on a keyboard I am trying to be better than the person before me. I am striving to manifest everything that is good in me and pour it out on the page so the reader gets the full blast. So, why is it a low day? I do not think I surround myself with winners. I do not feel like the people in my life spend every day trying to master what they feel is the fundamental pulse of their existence. Sure, I have good people around me and some are winners, but most are lazy. When I am surrounded by lazy people, I am lazy too. The tide of such things overwhelms. I walk into a classroom and know immediately that most of the faces don’t want to be there. They are looking for shortcuts/ways out/chances to put the pressure on me vs. them. So I spend my energy guarding against that and not creating and not manifesting what I want to be my purpose.
I am in a position to fail every day. Yet some days I succeed.