Month: February 2024

Imagine being a 6A (highest division in AZ High) football team in a major competitive division and having to appoint your fifth coach in five years. This is the curse of Desert Vista. Over the time we’ve had kids in place the school has gone through a slew of coaching changes. Now we are on #5, the Freshman coach and holdover assistant coach from the past few regimes. And he’s only being given a 1 year interim tag as the school seeks a new AD (also a revolving door). We haven’t done a single thing to establish a culture in this school because not a single HC sticks around for it. They stay a year, take their losses, and leave for greener pastures. It reminds me of that epic moment in the Expanse novel series when the characters realize that the years spent terraforming Mars are going to waste because nobody wants to stay long enough to finish the project–because they’ve discovered other readily inhabitable planets.

We are Mars.

Mars needs Coaching.

What I worry about this situation is visibility. The key to recruitment is getting tape in the hands of coaches and getting coaches in the stands. He has the skills and can compete anywhere. He wants it pretty badly, but he is young and addicted to the games and the friends and the distractions overall. That being said, there are pros and cons to being on yet another HC. CON: nobody wants to come play for the school now. PRO: He has a better opportunity to be a starter as a result. He wants to stay a year and then figure it out. I support that. We will see what that year looks like.

I came across a film called I Origins which is directed by Max Cahill, who also directed Another Earth, which remains as one of my favorite films and stars one of my (lo-key) favorite actors Brit Marling. I love everything she’s done. It is the appropriate level of weird and trippy. I remain in on her work as well as that of her entire crew, which includes Cahill. Discovering that film reminded me of what I’ve been missing in cinema. I miss work that is interesting and new. I don’t get a lot of that as of late. I get marvelized cinema and bad cinema and good ideas done poorly. That last one is reflective of roughly half of Poker Face, which should be a solid show given the cast but only shines in moments.

I’m not sure what the above has to do with anything but it was on my mind, so I wrote it down. There’s more on my mind… below.

Some Thoughts:

1. Unintentional ASMR is deeply relaxing. At one point in my life I worked for the ISU Alumni group and was responsible for making calls. This is where I first truly rediscovered my love for ASMR without even knowing what it was. I’d known it as a child listening to Bob Ross and falling into a chillaxed stupor, but some of those Alumni calls zoned me so completely out that I was just like, ‘keep talking while my mind reels’. I hate that people try to turn it sexual. It isn’t about that for me, which is unfortunate because that is what it is about for a majority of creators. It means I have a hard time finding the ‘good good’. A Tinder Date with a sultry Vampire is not the good good. It is in fact the bad bad.
2. This is the Good Good. Respect to Bob Ross, this dude here is fire.

I want to continue my scheduling talk from yesterday, because I feel that there is more to be said on the subject. I decided to get ‘granular’ on the calendar as I slept, and the sub-mind came up with some thoughts. Primarily, the sub-mind came up with a different way of thinking. I started by adding travel time to the calendar. If you look at my responsibilities to people other than myself (which I mark in red on my calendar) you find that I have 3hrs of responsible time (75 x 2). If you add to that the travel time the full time moves to 4 hours. There are also office hours, which I have been thinking about the wrong way for years. Office hours are about where I have to be vs. what I need to be doing. In essence, it is a form of open time. I could be grading, I could be taking meetings with students (which happens more often than not this semester), I could be prepping future classes. All of these are things on my daily to-do, so blocking off these office hours as a thing unto themself is a mistake.

So we find ourselves back at 4 hours. That time is fixed. The block time I wish to devote to being available to the Lady Talis is fixed as well on certain days. However, that time isn’t entirely accounted for, so perhaps some other things should be allowed for in that nightly space. Perhaps I should give space for blips–30 minute or less activities (one or even two) during the evening that make sense as cooperative affairs or to be done when she takes her own time during that block.

In other words, I do have time for accomplishing all things, but I need to consider looking at the calendar a bit more sternly and asking myself what I can make of particular hours. Can I write from 7-9 M-Th? What would that accomplish/what would I need to be on top of for that to become a reality? How else can I build out a day that includes what makes me hapy and time for the things I need to maintain and to grow?

It feels fitting that on the first day of the new Talis year (post 366 means version 7 started a year ago!), I look at the concept of scheduling and reflect on how I spend my time and how to better spend that time. Yes, I know there are AI for that. Let me start by saying what most people are commonly calling AI is not actually AI. This post by Amazon does a fairly good job of sorting out the discussion. When most people talk about AI and fears of AI what they are really talking about is Artificial General Intelligence. When people use chatbots or gpt, which stands for Generative Pre-trained Transformers what we are talking about are retrieval algorithms that can process information based on specific training and questioning. They ain’t thinking bots, y’all.

But that wasn’t the point of this post. Not really. Actually I am considering Skedpal as a tool to help optimize my calendar, but the facts are the calendar is hardly the issue. The issue for me is that I waste entire blocks of time on, well, nothing. I need to get better at not doing that and being more productive during the blocks where I actually do observe Butt in Chair philosophy. For example, I plan to get to work early tomorrow–6 AM I’ll be in the home office cooking up the plan for the week. I could cook up that plan post blog when I have probably 15 to do so, but I am going to play Apex, because… I am. These are the choices that shape my life.

Algorithms are very good at telling us the best time to do things, but the truth is that we need to be wiling to sit down and do them. I will try and honor that this week by getting back to the weekly checklist and using that to ensure I am doing what I am supposed to be doing every day.

One way to tell you’re getting old is the eyes. They are still adjusting to the screen after laying in bed and playing Madden at a distance for the past hour. Zooming in and out and having that ability to easily focus is a thing of the past. The tradeoff, of course, is freedom and a level of wealth I didn’t have when I was younger. So here I am nearing fifty and debating the pro-cons of old vs. young. What I really ought to be doing is looking forward while at the same time making sure the body is staying put together. Humans are fragile creatures. Today I watched a girl dislocate her entire leg at the hip coming over a hurdle at a track meet. Yes, it is as gruesome as it sounds. It reminds me how risky it is playing sports–the thing a 3rd of my kids plan to do for the next few years at least and at least one professionally. Dangerous business, but it does often solve the issue of age/freedom tradeoff.

Honestly, I am not mad at my age. I am mad at the shape I am in and the time I spend not writing. I could be a much better writer if I did more of it. If I did more hours a day I would get more done. I need to get the stamina for the work back to where it needs to be. I don’t think it is an age thing. It is a too many distractions thing. I’m looking to solve that conundrum this summer.

Some Thoughts:

1. At least the kid’s team won that meet today. It was their own invite, so losing was unacceptable. My kid lost 1 of 3 events. So, 2 firsts and a second. The other kid did not compete.
2. Track season is in swing, so you’ll see some updates about such things come wednesdays…

It is character day here in TalisLand. I promised I would get back to fiction and part of that promise is about moving forward with the Justice Engine novel. In this novel there are several characters. Each week I will present a new character. This week is about Marisol.

Marisol Henderson is a 52-year-old woman from a middle-class suburb in Central Florida. Marisol is of mixed heritage, with a Puerto Rican father and a Caucasian mother. She grew up in a bilingual household, fluent in both English and Spanish, though her father wished she had more of an American identity than she does–He didn’t want her to be mistaken for Cuban, which happens more often than it should.

Marisol is a high school Spanish teacher, a career choice inspired by her lack of motivation to do anything else. She often uses old Telenovelas as teaching aids to help her class be ‘immersed’ in the language.

Physically, Marisol has olive skin, curly brown hair, and green eyes, a blend of her parents’ features. She’s taller than both of them at 5’9. She has a warm, inviting smile that puts people at ease. She has never dressed her age, always skewing towards an older, more formal look, but at 52 that look is starting to catch up to her actual age.

Marisol pretends to enjoy gardening in her spare time, cultivating a mix of tropical plants and traditional vegetables. She also participates in her local community center, leading initiatives to support bilingual education and cultural exchange programs. All of this creates a sense that she is a community-based person. The reality is that she does all of this because she realizes that it is expected of her.

Marisol is married to David, an architect, and they have two adult children. Her marriage and her kids, who skew more towards an American identity make her parents happy. The relationship, like the job, doesn’t truly fulfill her. She isn’t sure what will, so she waits and does what is expected until she uncovers what it is she wants for herself.

I’ve been a bit delinquent on the writings about writing as of late. So I wanted to turn ten towards the craft itself.

Today’s thoughts focus on the novella as a medium. I truly believe the novella is about to have another heyday. For one, it is a short enough form to be easily absorbed by most casual readers. The all story-no fluff aspect gets readers right into the heart of the moment or the journey taking place for the character, and the characterization is to the point and well articulated. I have two novellas currently languishing in editing. One will require a full rewrite (or need to be put aside forever given where it take place in story lore). The other also has an expiration date of sorts, but is a much better and more down to earth story that I am super proud of. While NDA says I cannot say too much about such things, I will offer that the novella allowed me to focus on a smaller arc of a character and move them through a crisis that was pivotal to how they view themselves. I see that as the point of that form and length. I also feel like the novella is more readily adaptable to visual media. It is short enough to contain a central conflict and sparse enough that a good director can do their thing with it without sacrificing the core elements of the pre-existing tale.

In future posts I will try to delve into the core differences between novels and novellas and how to write them. I didn’t really start thinking about this difference until I was looking into what I wanted to read (re-read) next, and came across some of Joe Hill’s older work. He too loves the form and he is right to say it is a wonderful departure from the gigantor novels. Perhaps my interest in this also comes from being in the midsts of a novel and thinking that I’d love to finish something faster next. That finishing aspect is always in the back of my mind. One thing I need to learn as a writer is to enjoy the journey as much as I enjoy the product thereof.

Yesterday is a clear reminder that I need the waiver wire. I need an opportunity to talk about sports and do it in a way that is not quite newscastery but still fun and allows me to say what I will about the sports I cherish. FYI, basketball isn’t really one of those sports anymore. I don’t even buy 2K. I used to, but the love of the game faded in the face of the growing weakness of the NBA crowd. There isn’t heart in the game anymore. There is far less of the fire of competition. This is best illustrated by the 2024 NBA all star game that tallied 397 points. That is just dumb. Defense is a real thing. It exists. You just have to care enough to play some.

Well, if you don’t care, then I don’t care. Moving on…

It so happens to be the start of the Arizona Track Season. The boy’s pre-season times project him as a recruit at two dozen D1 schools. The beauty of this is again in the age. The system is set so the numbers reflect growth over years. He’s a year ahead, so when you look at him in his own age group, he instantly gains 50+ more scholarships. It is a good feeling to see how high of a ceiling the kid has. His little bro ought to have the same ceiling, but with such limited effort and a focus that refuses to spread further than the gridiron as of late, he is struggling. Still the talent exists. He will be a solid D1 two-sport athlete if he gets his mind right before Junior year when it really gets real.

In the meanwhile, I get to see my kids compete again, and I get to talk about another sport, and I get to enjoy that world in the way I love–quietly and at the end of the field where nobody notices me…

I get the feeling I’ve lost a little something as of late. It is that feeling that pitchers get when they can’t get that fastball quite over the 99 MPH mark or when a boxer isn’t feeling the urgency to jump back in the ring. I make a ton of sports metaphors because of my own history and connection to athletics, but the point I am making is that I don’t have it right now. I need a break from this day to day. I need to not be here and not be experiencing this sameness that wears on me so. It is made worse by the realization that it might just be like this for the rest of my life.

I need a moment to digest all of that. I also need a moment to think about how it won’t be. That entirely involves my writing moving to the next level and me getting picked up mainstream. I don’t exactly write for money, but I need to make more money writing in order to have the time and space to live the way I feel like I need to in order to be a more productive writer. This day to day really isn’t it. I’ve found ways to work through and or around it, but I can tell that it catches up to me more and more and my escape hatches provide fewer moments of escape.

On most days the mornings are the best part. To wake up in the arms of love and from there to enjoy moments of peace and togetherness and from there transition into solitude as the writing begins.

It begins with a blog. Ten Minutes to share anything of knowledge and worth or perhaps just to muse or to rant or to reflect. Once the ten passes the day falls into place. There is teaching. There is usually teaching. It occupies a space that is both anticipated and enjoyed. What happens in the classroom is invigorating on most days. From time to time it is not, and on such days the weight of the world feels that much heavier; the sameness of the homespace feels that much more tepid.

The work comes next. The words are the work. The words are central to everything. They harken back to a one bedroom apartment in Harlem and a little boy sitting alone on the rug staring towards a bedroom that feels much darker than it should; that horrifies much much more than it should. Even now the dreams of being dragged into that space, the air sucked from every pore, haunt. There were good times to be sure, but on the lengthening road of time and past it has become hard to discern what was real and imagined. The words help with that after a fashion. The words cement moments both real and imagined. The words reflect feelings and beliefs and goals and intentions. All of these things flood into the lives of the characters that populate the pages of fantasy, science fiction, real world drama, and on the rarest of occasions, comedy. Nobody laughs though. The words aren’t even as funny as they are imagined to be. The jokes are always of the ‘dad’ variety, which is to say corny and poorly timed.

Then comes the other work, interspersed with distraction. It is rare to grade without a distraction close at hand. That has more to do with not wanting to focus than the presumed need to have background noise in order to focus. It might not be that way for everyone… but it probably is.

After there are games with loved ones. Food follows or coexists in that space. Then the end of the day nears and the bedroom beckons. Tomorrow it begins again.