Month: October 2025

I always find it interesting how we shape meaning around our own upbringing and culture. For example, because we call it Saturday there is an expectation that everyone else does too. That isn’t the case at all. In fact it is surprising that we have a almost universally agreed upon standard of seven days. The Egyptians once used 8 while the Aztecs had 13. I won’t even get into the Korean standard. Yet for all of this, my lens of this day is really only ever seen through football this time of year.

My kid won his game. They beat #13 ranked Idaho and put the rest of the Big Sky on proper notice. People kinda knew, but now they legit know. These next few weeks will be different. They are starting to operate with a swagger that the team, as it gets healthy, can back up a bit more. Still need to figure out how to stop the run consistently. That has been a big problem. However, they are headed to California next week to face a surging Sacramento State team that likes to throw. My kid will get the test he wants and we will see how far his game has come.

Meanwhile, Coach Prime got a win against my Cyclones. That’s a big moment for his squad. It makes them relevant in the Big 12 battle for now. The rest of it will be decided by the teams at the very top–if they can sustain their own streaks. However, if Texas Tech takes a loss and The Utes take one as well, the Big 12 will get a lot more interesting.

I couldn’t even come up with a name for the post. The idea ought to be the name and the idea is so basic and formative that I ought to be able to see it clearly. I don’t. I’ve submerged myself in a great deal of fiction lately—3 months or so of Stephen King’s writings —but none of it has simmered even a thought of how technology can impact our nascent future. I took my eye off the road in that sense and now, as I return to center I’m trying to take in all of the things I’ve missed. Whatever that term is should be the title of the blog today.

instead I’ve baked the first few minutes into an assessment of what I don’t know. Even that feels all too familiar as part of the process. In fact, the process depends on it.

I am trying to figure out where we are going in the next twenty years and trying to write stories built around that coming future and investing these ideas into how I decide what my personal tech and work future ought to resemble. I’m trying to get back ahead of the curve. Unfortunately, the curve argues that what I do is going to be drifting towards obsolescence within my lifetime. This is not to say that writers and teachers of English will have no value but to say they will be devalued in the way radio was devalued with the rise of television—the way network tv was devalued by streaming.

we are moving towards something by. I want to figure out what it is, write about it, and head for the exits before it gets me.

I’ve been thinking about recycled ideas. This sprang to mind last night when watching All of You, and thinking I’ve seen this idea before. I just had to figure out where. It wasn’t the 2009 film Timers where people where a device that counts down to the moment you will meet your soulmate. Nor was it Soulmates, the 2020 anthology series where Goldstein and Bridges first tested out the ideas for the film. No, it’s The One, a netflix released film that turns this concept into a thriller where the focus is on the creators and not the people being matched.

It has been done a lot.

I believe that when things like this keep popping up then we are building towards real scientists somewhere getting the idea they can make this happen. I believe this is the way science is influenced by science fiction. See a thing long enough that is cool enough and eventually someone is going to make it. The “rule 34” of science. So, is this a tech we want? I bet most people do. I believe I am with the right person, so I have no interest in someone else taking a test to decide if I am their right person or my wife’s. We’re good here. That is another part of this tech that is not discussed. Except in this latest film it sort of is…

Podcasts have really become a background noise of my life as of late. I am trying to get a sense of the medium while preparing to teach students how to do the very thing I am learning to understand. Because art imitates life, the crime podcast has become interesting to me if for no better reason than my personal enjoyment of the show Only Murders in the Building. That show has sustained itself despite the incredibly limiting title. The medium is pretty interesting. I’ve been trying to find shorter form podcasts to share with the classes. I’ve found a few that work for the classes, and I will try them out moving forward. I also think that paranormal podcasts and short videos could also be an interesting approach to share with students.

Here is the thing: it is hard to share most things, because we are dealing with a dark time in political freedom. We are polarized in this brief and unfortunate time of discourse, and it can isolate and even alienate students. So, when I think about approaching these new media and trying to teach skills through context, it can be a good approach to help students feel at ease by contextualizing new material in a subject that is benign yet interesting.

I think that this is the way. I love the idea of doing this, as I have before with conspiracy theories. It could be a good look, given the time and material to get it right…

Flacco is a Bengal.

Heck, he might even start next week. That makes me think real hard about the other Qbs in the league and how these choices are made. I mean Winston can still sling it… Did the Giants not want to let the Preacher go? I’m less surprised about Russ. He’s cooked. The Giants are overall cooked as a squad after that baffling disappointment of a performance. Why does every team I like–save the UNC Bears–play like ass? Actually, the Bears sell too, but at least keep it interesting. There’s hope for them yet.

There’s hope for me yet too in fantasy. In the $$ league I’ve moved to 3-2. I’m in a player dropping mood there as well. Brian Robinson? Dropped. Hopkins? Dropped. Kendre Miller? Dropped. I’m adding the new kid from the Chiefs on a flyer, but I am hopeful to find more superstars hiding in the dirt. So far? No luck. I need WR. That is the worry spot for me…

Some Thoughts:

1. Today was yet another reminder that it does indeed come down to race. How else do you explain the fear and hatred associated with B. Obama, who is ostensibly a good person vs. the heaps of praise and love on Trump who is ostensibly a dirt bag? Somewhere Nixon is like, “But how? He’s not even smart!” He is smart, Tricky. He is not intelligent.

Hypercriticism of black men and women in traditionally white roles is at a fever pitch. I don’t say this lightly. I say this with the full understanding of the political climate we live in and the understanding that racism is, more often than not, politically aided. It is basically the default position to say that if a person of color is doing a job then there is a likelihood their race played some role in getting them there. As such, when they are judged they are additionally judged by that standard–often falsely. In other words, a person of color in a prestige role needs to represent the entirety of their race, while a ‘white’ person in the same role does not. This is how we end up with memes like this:

The brother looks like a stereotyped hispanic person. Except he’s a black man. Note that the white man was not transformed in any way here. A choice was made and propagated by the President and his cronies. That tells us everything we need to know about how race is viewed by those presently in power. Here’s the thing: If you are a person of color, you have to work twice as hard to escape the stigma of not looking like the dominant race in the USA. Everything you do is questioned. Those questions create a a sense of inability that continues to haunt us as a people.

What we are seeing is an uptick or a blowback of the idea that white privilege should be eliminated. What we are seeing is a sense of victimization–not by those of color but by those who are NOT of color. They are claiming to be the victims in all of this. That is what is driving a great deal of the terribleness haunting this country right now. It isn’t just politics. It is sports as well. It is self-perpetuating largely because we live in a ‘eyes’ economy or a ‘clicks’ economy if you prefer, where the more attention you can get, the more dollars you can get. This is why we spend so much time talking about Sanders and his son. People want to see the kid fail or succeed. This is why the meme above is on every news show. People want to see what happens as a result of such a brazen insult.

The thing of it is, this isn’t new. When Rome fell, it was nonsense like this chipping away at the foundations. It took a few hundred years for Rome, and later the British Empire, to go down. I suppose it is coming round to being our turn.

Roleplay writing and I are going through a bad moment. I feel as if I’ve lost the thread as of late. Nothing feels original or interesting in the writing and the stories I am putting out feel flat. Even the novel, which I enjoyed, echoes of other things. It is entirely character driven and lacks some of that “this is the world!” type flare that the books which inspired me have brought to the table. At least the writing is decent (IMHO).

That brings me to a deeper understanding and a deeper question. I understand that this is not enough for me right now. I question what is and where to go from here. I’ve started looking into another RP property, which I think could be a ton of fun to develop. It brings me joy to develop new things the way I was able to develop Voltron. I want to do that, but that is not all I want to do. I look at my fantasy world everyday and remark on the fact that I am not doing anything with that world. I could be. Heck, I may even be able to find a grad class to couch the work in. I cannot register until Halloween, so that question needs to wait in order to be answered. What does not have to wait is my choice to pursue something new and interesting. I need to work on the Justice Engine. Chapter 2 is calling.

But why isn’t that project screaming at me? Why am I not rushing to the laptop to do the work? It isn’t about being lazy. I want to write. In listening to the Dark Tower series I followed King’s winding mental pathway towards the resistance to complete that series, and I feel echoes of some of that in me. I don’t know if real life is getting in the way or I am continuing to use that as an excuse. Part of it is not fully knowing the characters, but again, excuses.

I suppose I ought to just get into it. Justice Engine and all.

Lately I’ve found myself revisiting the cheapoldhouses.com website. It is a solid fantasy that may wind up being more than that. My wife, the wonderful Lady Talis, and I need one. Things here are more like survival than thrive. We are spending the majority of our at-home energy preserving a state of perpetual ease for grown children who don’t necessarily need it, and we are suffering as a result of that and of the terrible social conditions here. This is not the place for us. First off, there are hardly any trees, which is a big deal. Yet the work is good, the pay is good, and we have one more high schooler in the fold.

Hell, he can move with us should he choose to. It would probably be for the best…

Some Thoughts:

1. They got blown out. It was 42-0 at the half and that was simply because the other team was running the clock and the backups were in. It ended 49-7. Desert Vista is not a well coached team. The product they put on the field often doesn’t resemble a program worthy of competing in the highest division in the state. They lack the players, the coaches, and the straight up backing of the school. The program is a joke. On a night where they honored a former player who made it to the NFL they showed that they may never see another player make it to the show. In truth there are four players on the roster who can possibly play at the next level. Only two of those have a D1 chance. My kid is one merely because of size and pedigree. Having a brother at that level goes a long way. Unfortunately, he’s being coached into the ground by a HC that is so very clearly over his head. At this point it would be negligent for me not to consider moving him elsewhere to actually have a chance to put up good film.

I should’ve picked up Kendrick Bourne. I was about to do it. 5 minutes before the game started I opted to start Brian Robinson instead of dropping him for Bourne. The move cost me 20 points and likely the win in an otherwise winnable matchup. Now I am predicted to lose by 16, which would drop me to 2-3 and start me on another long climb towards playoff contention. Why didn’t I do it? I was hyper focused on the RB position. I though CMC would dial it back. I thought he might be hurt. I thought wrong. Now I find myself in the midsts of yet another losing fantasy season with a mindset that can only be described as defeated. Funny how sport mirrors life sometimes.

In other news, the High School kid is facing an 0-5 ALA-Queen Creek team that was in the Open Playoffs last year but has given up an average of 39 points a game while only scoring 20 a game. I still think DV gets blown out. The 2-3 Thunder simply are not a well coached team. The QB is a liability as is the defensive line. They’ve been in every single game and every time they lose it comes down to giving up run plays and a failure of the Q to move the ball and, often, turning it over in critical situations. This is a brutally honest assessment. My kid needs to play better. While he has turned the page in the last two games, he still hasn’t reached the level of game changing ability needed to score a D1 contract. He shows it in spurts, but to be on a consistently bad team that puts the defense in very bad situations, you gotta capitalize and make big plays. That is what I’m seeing from the defense my other kid helps anchor at the college level.

I am at the point where I am merely there to support the kid–not the team or the idea of the team. I tried that. I support the defense. I care about those kids out there, but when I see a coach refuse to make changes and put kids in bad situations again and again, that is not an offense I can support.

Another night and another blog pushed out at the last minute. I am completely slipping. Tomorrow is a new start. I am going to get up, do a walk, and then get my stuff together. I need to lock in on a routine that is healthy and productive and has me feeling and thinking with positive energy throughout the day. I gotta stop surviving and get back to a place where I am actually productive and doing the thing I am on this planet to do.

I mean other than loving my wife and kids…

I am seeing obstacles at every turn and ghosts in the darkness I am having bad dreams and chasing bad ideas. I am doing everything wrong and precious little right. I am too old for it and it is not sustainable in the least. My goal, ultimately, is to be able to start the next phase teachign elsewhere and living a life with writing forward. I want to feel like I am making progress towards that and I want to feel like this phase is going to end well. All that is happening at present is me spinning my wheels. Nothing productive can happen without a strong foundation. I need to do what is neccesary to prioritize setting that foundation for myself.

Some Thoughts:

1. Need to also get back to basics in terms of savings. That is a huge thing I have failed to prioritize. I am paying down debt, sure, but I’m approaching retirement and I am not close to ready. How do people do this?
2. Thinking about reading some books. Not audio but actual print. Been a while since I’ve consumed a real book. Needs to happen soon.
3. Don’t really have much more to say but a minute or less to say that…