Right now my son is on his first official visit to a college team. He’s in Corvalis to see the Beavers, a dark horse candidate in the win my kid for college competition. His brother is with him, which is a good thing. His brother is a two time portal entrant who has a deeper understanding of how college programs work and what will and will not be good for his little brother. All of this is good news and good for the boy. What vexes me is that his birth mom is there too.
I’m doing that thing where i drag laundry out into the street. I’m doing it not only to air grievances, but to impart a lesson. Here it is: Kids are easily manipulated. They are especially emotionally manipulated by parents. There is a loyalty there they haven’t necessarily consciously chosen, yet is socially reinforced–especially in certain sects. Football (sports in particular) is a mom-loving sect. So when you are coding yourself to be like those guys you’re also coding yourslef to follow along with that script.
A few years back a good friend on my son got picked up by a lot of media networks for winning flag football player of the year. Kid is sold and probably should be on the olympic team this year, but that isn’t where the shade comes in. During this blitz he shot a promo where it was all about him mom and how she stood by him and fought for him through all his trials and troubles. This is true. Also true is the fact that his dad (who is not married to his mom) was there right next to her. They remain friends and pop is equally supportive. The promo did not mention that a dad even existed. That wasn’t the story.
I am no longer married to my youngest’s mother. Yet, unlike the aforementioned situation, I have been the primary sports guy. I’ve been the coach. I’ve been the trainer. I’ve been the financial provider. I’ve been the one paying for the non-official visits, the camps, etc. I’ve been the push. She’s getting the glory. She’s on the “look what I made” hype tour. She’s the one having the negotiations to help him decide his future. I’m not sure she even knows what she is doing.
Yet here we are.
Some Thoughts:
- Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “The vibes in Canada feel much different than the US as the World Cup arrives” What’s wild is how true that is. We got the World Cup–the biggest world event–and we are not handling it right. When I was in Italy during the last world cup people were filling the streets in excitement over the games. I’ve never seen that for the olympics. The USA doesn’t care about soccer nearly as much. It’s just another chance to make money to us… but it isn’t because politics have devastated our international relationships.