Day: July 25, 2026

I’m torn between needing a break and being afraid to actually take one. I think I’ve found a solution. I’m not quite done with this project, but I am close enough that it feels like I wil be done in the next sitting. Once it ends, I’m going back to the Torathae. Part Time. Over a year ago I was dedicating mornings to working through the world map and slowly building the history of this world and its social and political dynamics. I intend to return to that work on a daily basis. If I can keep writing this (with the intent of expanding it into the multi media project I previously discussed) that will keep me flowing and pushing towards that 20 WPM which will make it possible for me to write at the pace needed to be successful. It also allows me to do so while taking a break mentally from the projects I cannot seem to finish or even want to.

In sum, I get a break without shutting down the engine. Feels like a win-win to me.

That means I have time to thikn about how I got here, after over 50 years of breathing and growing. How did I hit a place where I don’t have the oomph to write the way I did and why is my engine breaking now? Is it age? Disinterest? Abject failure? Some derivative of success ( I did put out two novels, after all)? Lately it feels like I hit a wall and all the pathways to the level of success I want are shut tight. This feels like surrender, which is not what I was aiming for at all. Yet it appears to be exactly where I am headed.

I need a restart. I need a fresh head of steam and a renewed love for the work. I’m figuring out how to get there.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Jimothy the raccoon survived against the odds, a testament to sophisticated” I heard about this first on the Daily Show and didn’t understand. We’re talking about a Raccoon here?

Coming down into the realization that I have to post a thesis soon. I have 6 thesis credits that are going to be about something. I have lost the love for the Justice Engine to the point where I do not think I know how to write it. So, what do I write then? Do I have a novel in me–Do I have one that I can make real progress on in 16 to 24 weeks? The professional cycle is supposed to be six months. I don’t know if I can conjure up the full novel in that time. I don’t know what it even looks like. So, what now?

More I don’t know.

I could pivot. I have a shelved Shadowrun Novel I could put together for this. I could stay in that vein and write the first Corporate Commandments book, which is meant to be a modern take on the corporate world and the operatives that make things work. Yet neither feel like “the play” so I have to keep thinking this through. More on it tomorrow.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Laura Loomer meets Zelenskyy in Ukraine after her major reversal on the war” First, why is this news? Second, why does this person have that level of critical access to world leaders? This is sloppy, folks. She’s a conspiracy theorist with no real knowledge of world politics. She’s not even news.
2. 10 words a minute is still 36 dollars and hour if you work the whole hour thereby producing the required 600 words an hour.
3. That is all I got left in me tonight.