Back in 19 I published a blog about perspective reality. Some of it went along these lines:
Merely shifting the angle at which we see something may change how we see that thing. Consider then how emotion can shape reality. I am writing this while watching DMV workers, merely an hour into their shift, approach critical mass. From my perspective their anger and apparent disgust towards customers feels like an overreaction. However, when I consider their perspective from behind the desk, I suspect there may be some legitimacy to that rage. See, I am seeing customer confusion and slow moving tendencies for the first time. They see it 4-5 days a week.
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It got me thinking this turnback tuesday, about how I see things. I mentioned the other day how I slow down and all but stop being physical when I am in this house. I cannot find a real reason for it. There are certainly opportunities to be active. My partner, the Lady Talis, wants to be active, yet I spend time sitting around all day and wondering why my nerve endings are shot.
This is unhealthy and nonsensical behavior. It is also the reality of the space as I perceive it. In terms of self-reflection there is a lot to unwind here. Most of the people in the house are leisure-driven; looking for the next youtube clip or anime or video game to give them purpose for that moment. I check into what they are doing more than I should. Instead of driving positive behaviors, I fall into the ease of negative ones (or at least negative to me in my place and time). So I need to realize how to make changes there. I need to realize how to understand the balance of time in the space as well, as I all too often worry that I am not spending the proper amount of time with my partner. In other words, I feel unavailable a lot, which draws me away from really locking in. Couple that with an inherent laziness and we are starting to talk about a lot of things here that need to be properly unwound.
This blog is a decent start.
I am learning how to channel an understanding of how I understand my reality and use that in order to create a better one for myself and my loves.
Some Thoughts:
- I am learning to recognize that I have no time for selfish people. As I strive to achieve balance, I see selfishness more and more–especially in my children. I don’t have time for it. I don’t want to dedicate that much energy and effort to people who are merely takers. Where is the balance in that?
- This comes at the end of a number of events and realized habits that has me thinking that it is long past time I stop overextending myself for people who are not going to be positive influences in my life.
- I have yet to achieve that balance in life, but as with the personal understanding of reality it is helping me shape my world moving forward.