The universe and I have this arrangement: Every new year the Universe throws a ton of problems and issues my way, and I deal with them. After the spell of drama fades I am allowed a brief respite to figure a few things out. Now a better version of me would slide into this time at full speed and find a way to quickly prepare for the future and better myself–meaning I would see this pause as a chance to redevelop myself and get stronger, so eventually the universe really can’t screw with me the way it does, or at least when it does I would be better prepared.
But I’m not the best version of myself. Not yet. In fact, the truth is, some of these earthquakes are of my own making. By using the pause as a time to sit around and do nothing, I create a condition where I am letting responsibilities fall and making things harder for myself in general.
My partner is convinced that I do too much. She was right at one point. I was into everything. Lately, my responsibilities have been expiring/dwindling. It probably doesn’t feel like that to anyone else to me, but I can say that the preparation piece is where I feel it the most. I don’t have to prep the way I usually do, and that means I should be able to focus my energy where it matters. The fact remains that I have not learned how.