I couldn’t find a way to sleep last night. I was up at 1:20 in the AM and stayed awake through four with intermittent periods of wakefulness through 9:30 AM, which is when I finally gave up trying. My mind is tired. My mind is so tired that I didn’t make the effort to put the 3+ hours in today. If I’m being totally honest, the 3+ haven’t gone well for weeks now. I haven’t done better than 1.5. As a result my progress in all things writing has slowed to a crawl. On the bright side, the schedule I designed allows for this week to be a sell without the situation getting too out of hand.
The key is to stay on track. The key is to keep going and try as hard as possible to produce what can be produced everyday—even if it is just ten minutes of somewhat mindful excuse making about why you didn’t or couldn’t or wouldn’t do more.
So, lets take these next five to get to the mindful part of things:
I know that part of the problem is that my current set of activities is means far more to me than sitting around and writing alone. I need to reconcile that quickly, because the way things are is exactly what I mean the rest of my existence to look like.
Some Thoughts:
- Been trying to rationally think through my wants and needs in a way that prioritzes some things over others yet either allows me to give up some dreams or fulfill them in a meaningful way. I have this house, which is a hot mess. Seriously, it’s a dump and I don’t think anyone in my family cares about putting it together as much as I do or at all beyond a paint job. The interior was a problem situation that brought out the worst of my tendencies and alienated all of the females. So, now I’m stuck deciding where to go from here. I want to put together a nice backyard. And a nice front yard.