10 Minute Rule

In the background the after-show is playing and Kareem Abdul-Jabar is dropping knowledge from his 75 years of life about how we got to what is modern black culture. He’s talking about what Chris Rock said just a few minutes hence on his Netflix Comedy special–The first live Netflix Comedy special ever. I had a wonderful time listening to him drop jokes and finally have a chance to internationally air his grievances about Will Smith just shy of a year to the day. In truth he was so amped up about the affair that he actually screwed up the joke. Of course, he hit the other 11. He went so hard that I had a moment where I turned to my partner and gave her the ‘stop the fight’ look. He talked about selective outrage and how Will knew he could hit him and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. He talked about the reason Will went at him like that. He talked about the personal stuff (that Will’s wife took public) that led up to that. All of this culminating in an evisceration of a man that Rock once admired.

I think I needed this special. I think I needed a moment where people talked about the journey I’ve been trying to make since I realized who I was and the level of life I wanted to live. I think that journey is different for a black man on many levels and, honestly, it feels really good to hear that situation reflected by someone I truly admire and see has gone through the work to be the man he is today.

Being a writer, it is hard for me to be bluntly critical of other artists and performers in a public venue. I don’t want to say ‘they suck’ because the truth is more nuanced than that. Case and point: Hasan Minhaj has flashes of comedic genius, but he isn’t the right fit for The Daily Show, as evidenced by his recent spate of appearances.

Again, he’s not awful, but he also isn’t what the audience has come to expect. Over the past few months following the (overdue) departure of Trevor Noah, the show has been rotating through a long list of guest hosts. Some get the script–by which I mean do justice to the legacy left by Stewart–while others see the format less as an intelligent and biting referendum on the news cycle and more as a playground for stuff they really like. Others still, like Minhaj (and frankly Noah) are bit-driven and truly incapable of carrying the weight of the multiple parts of the show. You have to be a special sort to carry the multiple parts and even more confident and team-oriented to allow your crew to do a lot of the lifting with you. That last part is where Noah failed. The show became about him and not about the show. It was Trevor Noah and the Daily Show and that showed in how much the focus was on him. Stewart focused on the issues and the controversies and is the only host among all I’ve seen able to carry out thoughtful and intelligent interviews with a variety of guests. You need that as part of the show.

Some Thoughts:

1. Johnathan Majors is going to win awards. He is suddenly the ‘it’ black male lead, and is getting praise from all corners. The Yale MFA is certainly good in some roles, but he does have a tendency to overact in others. Antman and the Wasp is a wonderful example of that forced gravitas. I’m not sure I buy the hype, but the hype is buying him some roles.

I’m coming at this new book from a different angle. The last one was written from the perspective of two of the four main characters. This one is from the perspective of a different one of the four (thus leaving the 3rd and final possible book from the 4th perspective… unless there is a 4th). This specific character choice is a male voice that is capable of reflecting a great deal of nuance in regards to what I want to say about this story world and how it treats race, mortality, and even family. I think this is a deeper approach than the last book and I intend to make it my best book ever. I’m excited for the opportunity to grow with each new writing, and this puts me back on the grind to being that writer of my own dreams.

Putting in the work!

Track season is upon us, so I thought I’d hit the wire this one time to talk a little about it. I’m excited about what the boys are doing this season. The Jr. Has a chance at the podium in the state championship. His team boasts the #1 200 runner in the state, and several top 5 or top 10 athletes. He’s a top 9 guy in the 39″ hurdles, which is solid for a 15 year old kid. He’s top 5 in Division 1 and is presently running exactly .09 off his best time in both the 110 and 300 hurdles. That is oddly in sync, but really good coming off the first meet since the broken leg.

The 8th grader ran 11.59 in the 75m Hurdles, which puts him first in the state, and would’ve been good enough for 7th in the nation last season. He needs to cut half a second off that to ensure the school record (and likely the US record). He’s got this. The team is looking stronger than they have in years, and I have hopes for them taking the whole thing this year. In truth I’m hoping the boys run some out of conference meets as independents. I want to see what they can do.

Some Thoughts:

1. On the last book of the Legend of Camelot series written by Bernard Cornwell. Excellent writing. Interesting perspectives on the rise of Christianity. Loving the journey, hating the characters I am supposed to hate. Well written indeed.

I reached back to 6.952. in order to think about that time and place where I was talking about the Garbage in, garbage out philosophy. That was a real one back then, and I see now how my kids have totally fallen into a cycle of nothing but that. Here is what it looks like: An hour or two of Apex, an hour of bad youtube, back to Apex, back to youtube. Pause to shower and or play games solo. Back to Youtube. Back to Apex. Watch some Anime… repeat. I’ve been studying this cycle for about Three months now and it does not change other than what game and which particular youtube feed. Garbage breeds more garbage and a universe of understanding and being entertained by garbage.

I was in the muck of it when I wrote my last novel and now that I’m working on the new one I am hyper aware of the quality of what is going into my brainspace. I’m watching better TV (I hope) and really thinking about and diving into story with purpose. I have something to say this time. I want that Gibson level awareness with this sequel and I want to be able to point out a lot of the really dark crap that happens in a dystopian world. I missed that last time. It was way too clean and too easy for the protagonists. People gonna get hurt bad.

I tell you, Monday is the longest day of the week in spite of only teaching one class. Monday is a matter of falling back into the rhythm of the working world after a weekend of doing not that. It is often made worse by allowing myself to fall behind on matters such as grading and generally caring about my work life. I do believe in weekends being about family and self and escape from the routine (though a weekend routine is still a routine). So that is why Monday strikes like a heavy staff against my back over and again. By 7 pm I’m drained of all that resembles energy and fully in the realizing that tomorrow is yet another day of work.

I believe this is why Date Night Wednesday is a double edged sword. On the one hand it is a great way to end the work week. On the other I pile up so much during those days that I don’t ever get a chance to think about the date night to come–I’m too buys getting through three days of classes and figuring out when to grade.

Quite busy as of late and not really having the time or capacity (I hate that word) to come up with a structured blog. So, instead I’ll share…

Some Thoughts:

1. Just saying Capacity reminds me of the truly awful experience I had at ASU’s Piper Center for Creative Writing. That was a sinking ship and a cesspool of relationships that ran contrary to the workings of an actual writing center or promoting a writer’s existence. I did a quick scan of the staff page and discovered there really isn’t any staff listed. I do wonder if they finally just fell apart. They continue to put up a meager assortment of events and opportunities, which I was starting to properly develop…. no more, alas. It counts as a fail in my life and moreover a fail on their part.
2. Writing is not a fail, presently. I’m hard at work developing this new novel.. in my head. Imma put it on paper this week though.
3. Seriously, I am.

The hardest thing to deal with as a parent is a kid who fails to listen and take responsibility for their own actions. I have at least one of those, and the one in question is generally a really good kid, but he’s selfish at times. He takes his parents for granted (all three of mine and one of hers entirely do). What screws me up is when I’m treated like my needs and wants are meaningless and, instead, I am the help. that stuff breaks me and makes me feel like I shouldn’t be putting in the time and effort I do in order to develop and continue these relationships and to make his life good. I’m frankly sick of it. The situation always spirals and winds up ruining everything else in my life. More often than not I spend the week I don’t have them making up for the week that I do.

Consequences ought to change things, but I’m not sure they will or even how to enforce such things on a week on/week off basis. I’m struggling and at times I feel completely helpless and alone in the struggle. It feels like a battle where there is no wall to back against because it is coming at me from all sides and nobody is going to step in to help me. Instead, anything I do is going to make everything worse. That’s when I get defensive and worried about all of it and, as a result, make everything worse. This is not sustainable.

Some Thoughts:

1. The general model of TV shows is broken. These shows are being structured and forced to function as forever shows–especially comedy shows and sit-coms. A show needs an expiration date, because then you can create moving story arcs. The one exception to that rule appears to be soap operas, and they just keep shifting and moving and creating new arcs as they go. There’s something to that worthy of exploration for those who want the never-ending TV series. The way they’re building them now just isn’t a lasting model.

Just a nice warm evening full of…

Some Thoughts:

1. Track Season. Which means I’ll be blogging about that experience. One thing to point out early on is the relationship between my two youngest boys. The older of the two missed out on setting school records due to Covid and now he’s coaching up his little bro to break all the records he could not. This is really sweet. In the first meet he managed 11.8 in the 75m Hurdles, which is good enough for 3rd all time in the middle school history. Best part of the number: He hit the first two hurdles and had a rather bad start overall. He’s due for a 10 this year.
2. The other one runs in the morning as a HS Jr coming off his team’s first state championship in several years. He’s coming off a broken leg, so this will be a huge test for him. He’s #2 hurdler on the team, and the first guy is in line to be state champ.
3. Writing season. Starting that novel. Or Should I say started. Once the contract was signed I was quickly to work. Grateful for the opportunity. There have been fewer than 70 novels published in the line in the last 38 years and I’m on my second.
4. Working out a family trip to the beach. That stuff is quite expensive, but if I can book early enough maybe there’s a chance for a good deal…
5. I really want to play Medival Total War. I downloaded it and everything! I just haven’t put in the time to put in the work. Thinking about making it my early morning fix. I need stuff like that to keep me thinking about the worlds of fantasy.
6. As for the dystopian worlds of sci-fi, all I need to do is read the news to reach for that content.

I’ve named so many blogs after this standard. I think I do so in my endless quest for the writer’s life. But what is that life? So few of us subsist purely on the work of our words–at least at the level to which we seek to be accustomed. I presently have a student who wrote professionally for a TV franchise, yet he is back in class, back at work, and trying to scrape out an existence by keyboard or pen. It is hard to sustain this life and it takes a person of great dedication and even greater fortune. Other characteristics (for good luck or good fortune, if you will, is a characteristic) may be equally helpful. Connections, lineage, the rawness of talent… All of these things shape success. I am blessed with outrageous fortune, but I admit to a level of laziness that would see me penniless in any other profession. I suspect charisma numbers among my attributes (or at least did) for I used that primary attribute to succeed throughout my academic life. The writing success came later (and largely lately) and after I saw my talent level and creativity dip considerably. So much has been written about seeking a return to that talent and creativity.

When I heard Chapelle lament on the concept of thinking as working for creatives I did think for a long time about whether or not what I’d lost was a result of noise. For years I’ve fled silence and the very concept of being alone with my thoughts. Life is difficult for me on so many levels that I seek escape from it’s constant troubles by hiding in every crevice of distraction that can be found. What cannot be found in most of these dark corners is creativity and imagination. However, I continue to seek it there. I play Madden and imagine the world in which I am pretending to exist. I imagine being the coach and what talk show hosts and announcers would say about me, how I would chat up my players, organize practices, the life I would have outside the game, the relationships I would have with my staff and fellow coaches. This is a retreat–this is hiding–yet I try to find in it some imagination and creativity. I still seek some access to what was lost.

The purer path is to sit in silence and think.. perhaps after to write. But I am afraid of that. I know not why.