10 Minute Rule

I can remember some genuine moments in my short but entertaining youth coaching career. I can remember, for example, sitting with the boy whose dad hardly ever attended games and talking about how sad he was that his dad couldn’t see him play. We talked about it in terms of how hard his dad worked to make sure the family was happy and well fed. He agreed that his dad was a super hard worker and that we should make sure he played super hard and worked super hard in practice so when dad could make it he’d see his son working as hard as he did. I remember all of the tough practices when nobody wanted to listen; all of the sessions when the offense never seemed to work right or ball movement wasn’t close to being a reality.

I remember the losses.

I remember the big wins; the cheers afterwards and feeling good about the kids feeling good. I still enjoy running into other coaches and feeling that camaraderie that exists among us–especially among those I call rival.

I’ve coached everything under the son, raising three boys who are deeply into sports. I’ve come to appreciate the relationships, the acknowledgement and recognition of that hard work. This is why it is so difficult to be on a team where it is deeply clear that I don’t matter one little bit to anyone on that field or sideline except maybe my own kid. It hit me hard to recognize that after putting in so much work and sweat equity in helping these kids understand the nuances of the game, I am suddenly Just Another Dad who the coaches couldn’t care less about. Part of me wanted to roam the sideline offering suggestions. I feel like I can contribute and, though this could be armchair coaching at play, I feel like I have a basic understanding of how some of the systems in play can be improved.

I realize this is my ego talking. This entire football season has been a lesson in humility. The kid who was a superstar before being on the team is a nobody–a one touch a game back/slot receiver who has a whole bunch of speed and heart but not too much focus or experience. He does well with the one touch. I do less well with the abject obscurity. It isn’t that I want to be noticed–I could care less about people knowing me. I want to participate. I want to help the kids grow and get better. I want to offer something. I want to make new moments with my son and with others and give what I can towards helping them to becoming better people and players.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Thinking back to 1804 (Aaron Burr!) got me thinking about 1806, which is the year future president Andrew Jackson killed Charles Dickinson in a duel. How many of our earliest leaders and founders fought to the death like that. Here’s some irony. History books suggest that Jackson had several duels (mostly against attorneys, which I kinda get) and the majority of them were about defending his wife’s honor. Here’s the irony: She who needed to be honorably defended, disparaged Washington after Jackson was elected president, promising she would rather “be a door-keeper in the house of God than to live in that palace in Washington” She died before moving to Washington.
2. Ex Machina looks like a CGI’d version of Her.
3. New Star Wars trailer. Check it out here.
4. New Avengers trailer. I’m not sharing.
5. Chuck Lorre said he’d quit writing those short notes at the end of his shows. Liar. He wrote another one this week.

When I was a kid I used to watch whatever popped on the screen. A drawback of watching so much bad TV is the inability to accept simplistic moral and social conundrums as worthwhile. Sure, there’s more to it than that. I grew up around so much good literature that I came to recognize nuance and depth of character. I don’t see it a lot in TV. I see aspects of it; I see people making the effort in one way or another, but fully formed characterizations are rare. Daredevil is no different, but on the other hand it is based on a comic book—a form of visual literature that relies on still images to create pathos and understanding. Moving pictures are different and rarely translates from still in the original fashion.

That brings us to the new Daredevil series on Netflix.

I was drawn to the series simply because its another Marvel title and part of the cinematic universe. I knew of Daredevil as the gritty Hell’s Kitchen ‘Batman’ who moved through darkness like it was a clear afternoon. I queued up the first episode and fell right into it.

I stayed into it to this day, but I realized I needed to recognize the show for what it is: Really good action sequences spaced by standard and somewhat limited characters and drama.

The central argument in the series is about how to save ‘Hells Kitchen’  The Daredevil (the good guy) wants to do this by eliminating the criminal element. The antagonist want to save the city through gentrification and uses violence to bring some of his competitors in line.

That’s the whole thing right there. Of course they try to add the personal drama for each character but those characters seem more like the comic counterparts due to scripts that highlight one pivotal life moment for each of them–a life moment that presumably sent them on their separate paths. It gets worse too: each of the characters are often stereotypes that are limited, scene wise, to the stuff that advances that one issue or often personality trait the show decided was relevant.

In short watching Daredevil is awesome, but do it for the action. There is a scene in Furious 7 where this hacker-chick stares at Toretto’s team and assigns character traits to them (Alpha, Hacker, comic relief, etc…). I feel like someone did that with this show and wanted us to know exactly how we should feel about each person and enables us to only understand them through that lens.

I can’t be mad about it. It happens in the comics all the time.

Some Thoughts:

1. Today was the first day in months that was just about me for most of the day.
2. 1805 was the year an American boxer knocked out a British one–forever lending support to the all too predictable stereotype of boxing as being more than just two people beating on each other but a more. Instead it has and will continue to be about political, racial, and class-based relationships in metaphorical form.

Another night with a head full of thoughts and absolutely nothing to say. What I do know now is that I have a lot of stuff to write about in novel form. That will happen down the road, once my mind and heart are in better alignment and I’ve had time to bear the weight of the last few years.

Here’s something I think I think:

Each of us has limits and strengths and voice and potential. We let the world wear on us and erode all of that which we can be until we become the sum of the strength that we have in us to endure day after day. Even in the melancholy times like now I feel like the strength to endure is something I still have–though it wanes at times and is at once propped up by the desire to be something more and to have something better for myself and my kids.

In the end I want to build something that lasts. I tried that and failed once already. One day I’ll try again and I’ll take the lessons of the past with me into this new future and make sure I build something that lasts and leaves a legacy for the boys.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. In 1804 Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr drew pistols on each other in an illegal duel to the death. This duel was the result of long time fueding between political parties. There was some personal stuff thrown in there, but by all accounts this was a clash of ideologies. This is to say that we are living in a universe where such things are ‘fixed’. There will always be ideological tension that rises to the level of murder. As I reflect on Burr’s victory I am at once drawn to the stories of Orson Scott Card who , in his own way, really tried to perform a deeper analysis of the phenomenon.
2. Interesting report on Jennicam, one of the earliest versions of webcam life and for a while one of the most successful. Worth the listen.
3. It feels really good to just sit down in front of a computer and write. I feel like I’ve been pulled in so many directions lately that I have lost track of the action that has brought me joy since I could first hold a pencil. This isn’t just what I do, it is how I exist in the world.
4. At some point I’m going to have to clear my head and get back to being that person I love being, am capable of being, and who downright rocks the Casbah.

I finally had a chance to watch Spike Jonze’s ‘Her’ which delves into the relationship between an AI and its (her) user. This is what I refer to as organic sci-fi, a style of science fiction that is actually an exploration of the idea of humanity vs. a conversation about the integration of science and technology into mankind. A good example of the other kind of sci fi is Alien or Terminator (hard action, I know).

At the 41 minute mark it just goes completely nuts as the AI commits to the idea of a physical relationship with the user and, for a moment, you realize that this has absolutely nothing to do with the AI and is in fact a simple response to programming and, possibly a form of psychotherapy for the user that does in fact mirror his nightly behaviors… minus the dead cat. Then we get a pair of totally CGI cut scenes and dive right back into a dude who is deeply afraid of commitment–or more accurately the change and loss of control that comes with commitment–and kind of scared of reality himself.

The film is beautiful and creepy all at once. I found myself drawn to the character, to his profession, his loneliness. All of it added up for me in a way that made sense. The relationships were the same way. While the story often progresses in the way that you want, it occasionally veers off and pursues innovative ideas about relationships and love and life and it comes together in a way that makes it all worth the watch.

Spike Jonze is a guy who is all over the place. There’s Jackass and Where the Wild Things Are and, one of my favorite films, Being John Malkovitch. This is another bit of weirdness in the box for him and fun the whole way through.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. 1803 was the year the first public library opened in the USA, which is a really big deal for a writer.
2. So, this happened. I am shocked and impressed and a little bit envious as a writer. Not envious. Excited and looking towards doing my own version of stuff in the near future. Thats the key with genre: you take what exists and add the color and flavor of your own voice and background.

Not a lot going on tonight with the brain stuff… just enough mind power to dream up…

Some Thoughts:

1. Wondering about how the Agents of Shield show will be able to wrap up or pause their current story arc in order to link up with the upcoming Avengers movie. I’d be surprised if they don’t. There are already thin linkages to the new Daredevil show that mention the Avengers but don’t cater to the storyline.
2. Speaking of Daredevil, the show is legit. This is an attempt to tell a Marvel story that isn’t about super powers and isn’t about super agents. This is about a dude who, while having powers, isn’t the Hulk or anyone. He gets tired and bleeds and worries about people. He even tries to separate right from wrong in the dark land of the vigilante.
3. Speaking of comics, the first comic book was published in 1802. It was called the Wasp, and had no relation to the modern character of the same name (and Avengers pedigree).
4. What happened to story innovation? As I read through this latest slate of fantasy and fiction books I see nothing new and exciting. I don’t see new ideas. Even Game of Thrones is rote–bloody and sex-filled, but rote.

If you think that being a single person will somehow afford you more time, you ought to forego being single. No sense in setting yourself up for disappointment. I learned this through experience. I’m learning a lot of things through this new life. With any luck some of it will help someone else down the road.

One of the first thing I learned about was laundry. It takes a long time to get it done. I’m not talking about the folding and such. I merely speak of the washing and drying. We’re talking almost two hours and if you let the stuff sit in the dryer for too long then it gets wrinkled, which means more time ironing half a dozen tee shirts (Yes, I iron them if I really have to).

No one tells you that. No one tells you about the loneliness either.

At night the walls close in on you and you start to think about the darkness as a state of being, even a future. There is sound and light available if you could just turn on the TV and climb down that rabbit hole into forgetting about the facts; forgetting that this big house has no value if its just you and that you can’t live your life inhaling in between the moments that you have your boys.

There has to be more. There has to be more time, more meaning, more opportunity to climb down the rabbit holes of your own making; to embrace what you thought could be as opposed to what is.

What is is empty nights and a sort of misery that only happens when you are waiting for your life to start again. Or end. Either option seems a possibility in the darkness. Buddha suggested, “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” On the other hand loving yourself is core to the philosophy of Buddhism. The trick then is to love yourself through the darkness and the doubt and the wonder of what tomorrow will be and not to worry if it will be as empty as the night.

It can’t be.

Some Thoughts:

1. While watching Thor: The Dark World recently I considered writing a spot of fan fiction that focused on the forgotten bits of the major fight scene. I wanted to call the piece ‘Claims’ and write about the handful of cars that were shot through a portal to another world. Those cars belong to someone and those people probably would file a claim…
2. There is going to be an Independence Day 2.
3. I get the distinct feeling people find me melancholy. This is only a little bit true.
4. 1801 was the year the U.S. house chose Jefferson over Aaron Burr. He’ll become famous (as I’ll discuss in a few days) as the answer to a trivia question in a Got Milk? commercial. he was famous before that, of course, but that commercial was the stuff.
5. 1801 was when Kentucky outlawed dueling. Important to the story to be told in #4… It was also the year of the first U.S. foreign war–the Barbary War.

I continue to create the conditions for my success and recognize some past failures and reent successes. This and the habits I have create a reality that is sometimes really good for me and sometimes equally bad. I am in a good space right now, though I am carrying the guilt of outstanding work. I gotta get stuff done, but I also want to prepare for future classes and set up a summer routine that will aid me in being successful. 

One such habit that might help is returning to evening coffee drinking. Without the caffeine I feel like I’m slow and, well, exhausted.

Some Thoughts:

1. 1800 marks the formation of the U.S. Library of Congress. It is important to note that this organization, at one point, archived every tweet ever sent. This means that there is a solid record of at least the first 800 entries in this 1800 entry long blog. 
2. Got the mid kid a bow and arrows for his bday. This may have been a terrible and dangerous mistake. Not that he’ll shoot anyone, but at some point in time he will become convinced that he is a DC superhero. Like for reals…
3. More folks moving on from the Daily Show. I suspect the new version will be a shade of the most recent.

There are a number of other things I ought to be doing in this ten minute burst. To hear it from my 10 yr old, I ought to be playing Dragon Ball Z: Xenoverse, because by not doing so I am confirming his suspicion that I will never play and thus wasted my money on the game. Of course his assessment neglects that I bought the game for him and further neglects life itself–beyond video games. That’s his crutch. Mine is still TV and finding all new and colorful shows designed to waste my time and further distract me from the actually important and meaningful tasks in my life.

These tasks don’t include NBA 2K or any manner of game, but they do include writing, which I’ve neglected as of late. I feel like I need to build up some more ‘life experience’ to really start producing ground breaking work again. I don’t know, I enjoy the stuff I produce but it hasn’t been special for a while. At this point I’m rambling, so on to…

Some Thoughts:

1. Children fascinate me. I had occasion to open my desk computer today and found an unfinished poem about sunlight. On the second screen was a poetry website with a sampling of Spring-themed poems the mid-kid was using to understand the cadence and specific imagery of seasonal poetry. Why he didn’t just ask me is a completely different conversation, but the fact that he went online and sought out this information to write a poem on his own gives me hope.
2. I’m having extensive shoulder (rotator cuff) problems. This is further evidence of aging that I can no longer deny.
3. 1799 indeed. This was the year New York began abolishing slavery and the year the slaver Eli Whitney began mass producing firearms. Those two things have been entangled ever since. There is a longstanding relationship between the fear historically attributed to black men and the use and control of firearms in the United States.

I thought I’d pay homage to the MMQB for producing really intelligent pieces about football this off season. As I move into the tackle world I start to real recognize that football is about human stories and about insider and outsider groups. I see that insider/outsider dynamic very clearly in the division between coaches and parents on my son’s team. The coaches are a click–almost a family. They are often the fathers of the best players (at the very least the fathers of the kids who get the ball) and have come to these relationships through the trials of past seasons and friendships that have come to extend beyond the playing field.  In truth, the majority of my (local) male relationships were built that way. It only stands out to me now because I am clearly on the parent side of the equation–an outsider who can only stand and watch and hope that my kid can play to the level deserving of touches.

The learning curve from flag to tackle is steep. Not only have I had to reach back years into my memory in order to remember the last time going through tackle drills, the offensive and defensive schemes are more advanced than before. Now, as a learner and perhaps future OC, I’m having to think about blocking assignments beyond merely the skill positions. I spent this last practice watching the team move through formations and picking out the possible plays and audibles out of those formations. It was good fun for me, and it showed me all the strengths and weaknesses of the team’s coach. One weakness is the lack of a backup QB.

I’m not quite ready to pull out a clipboard and get to work. I believe this summer’s basketball experience will be really helpful because I’ll be working with 6-7 year olds who don’t want to listen or do anything resembling teamwork. I’ll have to find a method through that and learn how to become a better manager. I’ll have to do something new with it all too, because the old way is limited and I’ve hit the wall.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. This body as temple ideal has turned into more of a distant ideology for me. My body is filled with junk food, excess fat, and coffee. Lots of coffee. Nothing I usually do to get my mind, body, and spirit in sync in working, which I suppose is the core reasoning behind trying to do things a different way.
2. They’re going to make this officer-involved murder about race, but it shouldn’t be. They in this case are the media and the people with a bone to pick. I haven’t seen evidence of systemic racism in this situation. I have seen a very terrible officer do something he immediately went all “Chicago PD” on and get caught doing it. One media truth: Without the video we would be hearing a very different narrative about the shooting… Or not hearing about it at all..
3. 1798 was the year the USA established the Marine Corps. This was, in part, a political response to the very brief French-American war of the same year. I’ve often believed that wars are declared for financial reasons more than moral or political. Wars make money and enable national funds to be spent in very specific ways. Nowadays we outsource our war capabilities to multi-billion dollar corps. I fear this too is a mistake, because a publicly traded company is beholden to its stockholders and not to the quickest path to peace. There is more profit in continuing conflicts than ending them.

Spent some time thinking about getting ‘back to one’ or in other words, getting back to the space where I am centered and organized and ready to face the world. I was there for a spell and then I went I blew up my life. That all starts by assessing where I am at vs. where I want to be and what I need to be working on in order to reach my goal–especially in terms of obstacles. For example, I recognize that I watch too much TV and tried to solve that problem by canceling DirecTV. When I called they were able to bend my already weak will to at least a month longer stint by offering a massive one month discount. I gotta be tougher than that.

Distractions are the spice of life and I all too often allow them to become a focus of my being. That isn’t the person I want to be. I see that person every day in class. Most of my students are that person. Anything that is going on in their lives is infinitely more important than everything happening in the rest of the known universe. Just recently I had a student decide to miss a week of class because she was fighting with her boyfriend and it made her feel unable to participate.

As the semester winds to a close I am happier and happier about the opportunity I have to get very focused and build my skills both as an online teacher and as a writer, given the significant amount of time I will have to pursue both. I’ll also have the urge–since nobody once to leave the house during the Arizona summer.

All in all I believe it is time for a change for the better in my life and I am ready to start realizing that change… Even though I’ve said it before.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. 1797 was the first year that scientists proved that diamonds were a rarified form of carbon formed, in part, by intense pressures. This immediately invalidated the Superman film produced almost 200 years later when that dude squeezed a piece of coal until it became a diamond he could present to Lois Lane… Is it weird that this is the one part of the film I was like, “that could never happen”
2. Sad and interesting perhaps only to me, 1797 was the year the capital of NY was moved out of NYC and placed in Albany. Now in defense of that snowy and distant place, Albany used to be a big deal in terms of commerce. On the other hand, it is the second time a significant capital was moved out of NYC. Did you know that NYC used to be the capital of the United States?