10 Minute Rule

Thanks to the machinations of a pretty epic 15 yr old girl, my eldest now has a kitten of his own. The kitty is mostly white with patches of grey and black fur. She’s all fur, actually, with pensive gray eyes that seem to say, ‘what am I doing here?’ The boy named her Skitty after the Cat-Pokemon that evolves into Delcatty. It was an obvious choice–Meowth and Lucario didn’t seem to work for a girl cat, and the name was going to be Pokemon influenced no matter what. She arrived this afternoon. We weren’t entirely prepared for the arrival. We had all the necessary equipment but failed to realize how shocked and afraid she would be to find herself in a new home with creatures she’d never before encountered–Chopper, our Yorkie for one.

Skitty is the third cat I’ve ever lived with and the first that didn’t directly belong to me. She’s also the first that wasn’t completely gray. Her predecessor, Razzi-Ann, died traumatically over a year ago. We are partially convinced that Razzi was poisoned by a neighbor tired of cats wandering from yard to yard. I say this because I rarely see cats in the ‘hood anymore. Perhaps Razzi was only one of a multitude of victims. Skitty on the other hand is too small to hop the garden wall and cruise the block. In truth she doesn’t have the willingness to even hop a baby gate. This will come, along with a deeper understanding of the world around her.

I hope she realizes she is being welcomed into a home filled with love and understanding for pets. That is if you discount the dog who peed on everything then escaped into the wilderness long enough for me to decide not to murder or sell him…

So, I finally did it. Friday I went under the laser and severed my chances for future kids. Vasectomies are common place these days. My doctor claimed to do a minimum of five procedures a month. Its simple work for him too. He finished the work in around 10 minutes. Turns out that a lot of things in life happen in 10 minute increments. In ten quick minutes I lost my ability to sire children. I believe that was the right choice for now–I’m in no position to have more babies. At the same time it is a far more significant shift that could have lasting ramifications on my state of mind as a male.

Are you less of a man if you can’t make babies? I don’t believe so. I apply that same thinking to women. Making babies (or sperm) doesn’t determine gender in my mind. Still, there is a world of people out there who feel differently.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Yesterday’s post was one I actually went back and read again today. There’s a certain desperation to that post that I was unaware of when I was writing it. The post felt like I was saying that my own creativity is dying. That is not accurate. My creativity seems to have narrowed into the laser focus of science fiction. On the other hand I feel like I’m capable of existing in many genres.
2. I’m stoked to get back to making the treehouse. Right now the plan is to build a floor using 2 x 4 beams with bracing underneath. The walls will go up the same way. This is going to be an actual house built around the base of the tree with a roof structure that serves as a traditional ‘tree house’ styled lookout. The kids will be able to play up there and I hope to attach another structure to it so they can do some American Ninja type stuff…

All writers run out of ideas.
This may be for a minute, week, month, even a lifetime. The length, I believe, is self-determined. A good friend told me recently that I ought to stop falling back on old solutions to the problems I have now, and I feel like that statement (however poorly paraphrased) applies to the creative spirit. Used to be that if I was blocked creatively I’d step back, breathe, and go read a bunch of stuff in the genre I was trying to write in. I called it a jumpstart. Today I was thinking of another solution to that situation: Write something new everyday.

Generally speaking, writers come to the table of life with one really good idea. They write around that idea, carving away at the core of their creativity the way a sculptor peels back the clay until the sculpture is finally revealed. I believe Stephen King’s one great story was the Dark Tower series, and nearly everything else he’s written orbits that work. I don’t believe it has to be that way. I believe that King, and others like him, escaped the trap of sculpting towards your one big thing by trying to write something new and challenging themselves as writers every day.

As a writer it is easy to get stuck in a mode or a rut or a specific style. Challenging myself will allow me to explore different styles, genres, and voices. This is the clearest path to stretch and grow my creativity.

Now all I gotta do is lock down the time for all this writing…

I missed this on Wednesday. The present upheaval and, well, reaffirmation that we are still a relatively racist society (in terms of social structure and attitudes) distracted me. So the responsibility falls to a Thursday night…

 

CHI over DAL
This is going to be a rather enjoyable shootout–especially in the second half as the D’s wear down. CHI has better receiving options IMHO.

CIN over PIT
This is an important matchup for both squads, though I think the advantage goes to the Bengals thanks to an evolved Sanu.

DET over TB

HOU over JAX

BAL over MIA

NYJ over MIN
MIN can stack against the run, but they can’t run against the Jets.

NO over CAR

TEN over NYG

STL over WAS

ARI over KC

DEN over BUF

SF over OAK

PHI over SEA

NE over SD

GB over ATL

 

I think I’m becoming increasingly bigoted in my semi-old age. Maybe just a touch cynical.

I’ve spent this week engaged in a series of very interesting and informative conversations with students in regards to the Micheal Brown shooting. Almost all who have some officer training or are officers themselves believe the shooting was just and preventable. I felt like there were really two conversations taking place at all times. One was about the specific issue and the other was about the larger twin contexts of continued racial profiling/standardized behaviors towards black suspects while the other was about the blue shield and continued justification of negative police behaviors based entirely on the fact that police are putting their lives on the line. I stand by the ruling that it was a just shooting. Everything I’ve read or heard or seen point to the officer being a stand up dude. What happened to him is terrible. Still, not all cops are Officer Wilson. Some are Officer Pantaleo, hiding behind the thick legal paperwork and bond of the police association. Here’s what I feel: I feel like we do owe our officers something more than what we provide them (financially and respectfully). I don’t however feel like we owe them the benefit of the doubt. In fact I believe we need to hold the people we entrust with our safety to a higher standard. I need to be able to trust the person I turn to in a crisis, not worrying if I’ll be shot in my own driveway, yanked out of my car by cops with guns drawn and tazed in front of my  kids because I asked to see a supervising officer, or merely stopped and frisked based on the way I was dressed. My grandfather was an officer. I grew up knowing the cops in my neighborhood. I grew up wanting to believe the cops were on my side. Some were. Some were not.

Cops are people and people can become jaded by seeing horrible things. Sadly, the profession (like teaching) protects everyone in the profession behind the same scratch-resistant, bulletproof wall. The same massive wall that says, ‘we will handle our problems internally’ and expects the rest of the world to stand by and wait patiently for that to happen–that expects the rest of the world to move on at let the wounds heal. Guess what: Wounds don’t heal unless treated. When they are left to fester they can kill the body or in the least leave an ugly scar.

It is time we stopped saying that just because someone was vetted and earned the right to wear a badge they are forever that same heroic person who first stepped into the job. I’ve watched the job jade people. I’ve watched it make people into racists, and stereotypers, and shoot first gunslingers. Its a hard job and we need to do more to protect the people who do it. That includes protecting them from the bad ones that make us all look bad.

 

There’s a certain idealism that comes preloaded with teenagers. That is why I keep a couple around like plaintive reminders of what life would be like if I wasn’t jaded by what life is actually like. It’s an experiment in indecency, really. I can still remember the feeling of freedom of an open door to an open world filled with possibilities and pleasures. I remember getting on a bus at the end of my senior year of high school and wondering, ‘what is going to happen next?’

 

I had plans. We all have plans of some sort—I heard about a kid who planned to stay on the couch for three to five years locked into waist-high stack of video games like a prisoner to the virtual. His mom nixed that plan when she ‘accidentally’ spilled a flower vase full of water on the PS3. He couldn’t afford to replace the machine, so she made him get a job to pay for a new one. That started a new plan for him.

 

My plan ended up getting nixed by a none-too-subtle failure of willpower. It was a recurring problem for years there. I’m not a teen anymore and it still creeps up on me every now and again. I’ve made plans, failed plans, and changed plans and all the while I’ve tried to cling to the tiniest sliver of that idealism that made me feel like I would conquer the world.

 

Nowadays I just want to conquer a story.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. There may be something wrong with me. I mean doctor time wrong. I’m getting fatigued and ready for sleepyland at 9pm… That wipes out all the time possible to be productive. It may be that I have to go back to night coffee.

I’m bitter about football, so I’m going to rant…

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Geno Smith is garbage. I’m sure he could dominate the league in my adult flag football league or even in the Semi-pro tackle league I used to play in out here. Heck, I even think he could do something for the Argonauts. That’s not the NFL though. In the NFL Geno Smith is garbage.
2. Idzik is garbage too! He hasn’t been productive in the draft and showed quite clearly he was more interested in sitting on the salary cap space than putting the money towards the pair of corners that coach needed in order to execute his defense. So what happened? The D was exposed. Now Ryan is going to lose his job, Geno might keep his job, and the Jets continue to suck.
3. They don’t suck as much as the Giants. How do you blow a 21 point second half lead to the Jaguars? I’ll tell you how: Larry Donnell fumbles the ball on a drive, attitudes fall to crap, and the crap collects speed as it rolls downhill. The Jaguars were suddenly running and throwing downhill and there was nothing the G-men could do about it.
4. I’m a physical mess… 9:30 and I want to go to bed. My body is for poop. I’m stressed, tired, and somewhat done with this whole teaching thing (till 2015). I’m ready to step away from the classroom and start the hard core writing.

When it comes right down to it, being a successful writer can be the easiest thing in the world or it can become impossible. There is a potent formula to being a writer. The formula consists of two ingredients that, if portioned appropriately, make for the best writers in the world. Those ingredients are focus and environment .

Time was I could write anywhere. I did my best work on the back of the M1 bus around a bustling crowd of people talking, pushing sighing, all impatient to get home. I hoped the ride wouldn’t end. Sometimes I’d even miss my stop and have to walk back two even three stops because I was lost in a world of my own words. The writing wasn’t about escaping from anything. Writing isn’t an escape. It is a destination. I used to think it was a matter of me escaping from the real world into these epic fantasy realms with walls so high that I could no longer even see the reality around me. It turns out that the walls built from my focus. Brick by brick I would surrender myself to the task of writing the way someone surrenders to prayer or meditation. The story was all that mattered and I would cut myself off from everything else in pursuit of the next powerful line. I still get to that space sometimes but it takes longer to dive deep. I’m a grown up with all the pressures and distractions of adult life. I have a family, friends, teams to coach, even video games designed to rob me of my focus. When I can push all those things aside the words come–reluctantly at first, but after a while they flow freely and I can get lost again.

I cannot get lost just anywhere. The M1 was part of the equation. The noise and energy of a bustling metropolis was part of the energy. I wrote for ever a year about Arizona being the land of white picket fences and slow, boring lives. There really isn’t a whole lot of intention in this state. That makes a difference. Where you live–be it state or home–makes a difference. I live in a place where the family really doesn’t understand what it means to make room for writing, so when I write I leave. Environment is more than physical. It is spiritual, emotional, and intentional. Partly it is about being around go-getters and those who crave more and want to achieve more. Partly it is about being around those who have a desire to understand and nourish the process. Partly it is being a little bit malcontent yourself and needing to satisfy that hunger with the words.

The combination of these two ingredients can be explosive or they can leech the words out of a writer. It is the responsibility of the writer to recognize what their proper mixture looks like and strive to achieve it.

I’m done reading the facts in the M. Brown shooting and I’ve found some clarity, at least for myself.

Taking the facts as they have been presented to the grand jury, I have to say that I agree with the decision. I took a moment to put myself in the officer’s shoes. I’ve already been roughed up by the suspect to the point that I know I won’t win a hand to hand fight. The suspect is rushing me and I don’t have any non-lethal recourse to slow him down. I point my weapon at him and demand that he stops. He continues running at me. At this point there are two choices: flee or stand. When I wrote about the ridiculousness of the stand your ground laws, I was taking into account that these people standing were not in fact officers of the law. The police have an oath to stand their ground. They are the bulwark against the negative elements of our society. So, when a suspect is running at them and they have no other choices but shoot or flee, I say shoot. I don’t say aim for the head.

So here is where the real controversy comes into play for me. I am not going to question a scared officer’s right to shoot in this instance. I do believe the system failed him in multiple ways. He wasn’t trained to incapacitate with his weapon. He wasn’t provided non-lethals. He didn’t have any back up. What happened between young Mr. Brown and Officer Wilson was a tragedy sparked by the attitudes of a police force and the attitudes of a community. So much more could have been in place to prevent this from escalating to the point of death. What I hope more than ever is that there are systems put in place now to help embed the officers in the community to the point where they are seen as asset instead of enemy. These days, everywhere is Compton with people screaming F– the police and violence towards officers becoming more common, or at least far more televised.

There is a lot attached to the Micheal Brown shooting. What happened that day is a symptom of a much larger situation stemming from decades of racial tension not just in this particular town but globally. It is long past the time that we stop sweeping race issues under the rug and hiding behind the supposed racial equality proven by a black president (thanks, Obama). We are a nation that pretends to be color blind, but social science tells us this is impossible. We just pretend not to see race and in that pretending we ignore the utterly devastating effects of indirect racism.

Some Thoughts:

1. Yes, I still believe Obama is a great president. Yes I get that the economy has sucked his entire time in office, but it isn’t about the economy, stupid. We are supposed to be a democracy and we are supposed to believe in higher principles. What Obama got wrong was believing that this country could rise about petty greed and cynicism. Where he failed was where he excelled. He provided hope and then ran into the brick wall of bureaucracy and horse trading that is the U.S. Government. The people initially in place around him to help him get stuff done all moved on to greater personal positions and he was left in the oval office with the B team. Then the republican media engine kicked in and made the world look like everything was Obama’s fault. Thanks, Obama became a meme and stupid people believed it. Now we are headed back into Afghanistan and doing darn near everything we can to go back to 2007. Of course, 2007 is where it all went wrong… Why would we want a do over?

So, the new Star Wars trailer is out and folks are losing their cool about the lead dude being black. There are cries of tokenism and so-called ‘black privilege’ and the requisite number of Thanks, Obama jokes. I allowed myself a few moments to troll the comments and was immediately disgusted. Some–few–were valid cinematographic and plot-like concerns. Admittedly, what I saw seems like a rather fake rendition of the Star Wars lore. There are spots where I could believe this was the work of JJ Abrams and times where I thought my kid’s iphone special effects app had a hand in the crafting. These quick looks don’t tell us enough to be excited but they may reinforce skeptics.

And racists.

The things that were said about the races of the actors need not be shared here, but the general idea was that this film is going to placate the racial masses. To some fans this is a huge disappointment. I suppose those fans only subconsciously are aware of the fact that the comment itself already establishes that the films had previously been placating a white audience–though it seems this wasn’t a problem to the majority of our posters. Keep the status quo and everyone is happy, right? Isn’t that the message The Hunger Games is challenging right now? (though not visually)