Author: admin

Presently the Bucs are playing the Patriots in New England and Tom Brady is down by 1 in the 4th. It is a strange homecoming for the man who is now the all-time passing leader (after supplanting Brees and so many others along the way). You gotta believe this was setup from the get up. For Brady to get that honor in the stadium he built (and built him) is a miracle of algorithmic scheduling to know just when this man would break the record. Of course, Brees is there as a commentator. The only person missing the party is Gronk. Broken ribs held him out of the show. Supposedly he didn’t even make the trip.

Locally, the youth game is heating up as teams separate themselves from the pack. This is supposed to be the week they announce divisions for specific age groups. My squad wanted D2, but after moving to 3-0 it looks more like we are going to be fitted into that D1. That is not entirely unpleasant. I welcome the competition, but I fear we are not ready for it. My boy’s former team, The Argos, have been tearing through the league, twice now ending games with the mercy rule. For that to happen you need to score 42 points on a team. We didn’t score 42 points in the first two games combined, and this latest 26-6 win is the most lopsided victory we’ve had. Here are the standings as I’ve recorded them:

Team	Win	Loss	Ties	PF	PA
Raiders	4	0		99	26
Argos	3	0		134	6
Liberty Lions	3	0		104	13
Irish	3	0		57	6
Mustangs	2	1		39	52
Jr Eagles	2	1		30	26
Dragons	2	2		75	53
Spartans	1	1		13	12
Force Football	1	1		27	19
Yuma Coyotes	1	2		13	53
Ridge Army	1	3		26	95
Peoria Panthers	1	2		47	56
Elite Reapers	0	3		0	105
Jr Huskies	0	1		0	8
Devilbacks	0	1		0	35
Mesa Toros	0	3		0	55
Outlaws	0	2		6	61

This is not a true power point standings, because it lacks the more detailed Opponent Win and Opponent’s opponent win categories that help to shape the quality of victories. To be honest, we haven’t really beaten one of the top teams. We beat the top Pop Warner squad, and the lesser PWs have gotten some league wins, but one of those PW squads got ransacked 42-0 by the Argos. The Liberty Lions and the Raiders are also undefeated, and the Mustangs also were destroyed by the Argos. In short, the Argos are the standard and it remains to be seen where we fit in this complex 14u hierarchy. According to the numbers, we fit at 4. Let’s see what sort of competition that earns us this week.

Some Thoughts:

1. Being this deep into the revision process makes me look at books differently. I’ve never been a heavy reviser. Now that I am in that process I can recognize the moments in a text where an editor and author found compromise.

Not much more to say today than yesterday. I remain at odds with what makes me happy and what is good for my life moving forward. I don’t know that there is room in my life for everything I want and days like this only serve to highlight that. Effectively, I need to have less going on. In fact, I need to have nothing going on most days in order to leave room for whatever we decide to do. If everything is so scheduled–especially through the weekends, it does not allow for me to be spontaneous. It is that lack for freedom; of spontaneity that is ruining what I have tried to build into my relationship.

So, I am firmly attached to the idea of this being the end of an era. However, it grows more difficult to truly enjoy the end of it, because that enjoyment comes at a clear cost.

Okay, no more life talk. Not for a while on the blog.

Still not at the point where this blog is ready to be fully coherent again. I might need a week. It doesn’t mean I stop or stop trying. It means that there is so much happening emotionally and practically that I don’t have enough mental energy left to really look within during these ten minutes and produce consistently. I’m focused (as focused as I can be) on this weekend’s slate of games. My mid kid plays in an hour at Desert Vista. I’m looking forward to seeing what he can do against an undefeated Highland High School team. The little one plays tomorrow morning as discussed yesterday. Still not sure how that is gonna go. He’ll be starting at CB for the first time at the 14u level.

Me? I am trying to hold it together here in a situation that feels more and more like the Titanic each day. I realize I won’t be able to sustain it for much longer. I don’t expect to be here at all beyond next year and even beyond the summer feels firmly unlikely. What’s worse is that the time I have left to enjoy these moments of being that dad who goes to the games and such is losing it’s luster due to the cost of such things. It is that growing part of me that is grateful the season is almost over.

Our youth league posted the standings for all age groups. It was quite the letdown. The ‘standings’ are actually a list of teams in the league with their respective W/L records listed next to each name. There is no order to it. Our 2-0 organization is listed dead last, other 3-0 and 2-1 records are scattered throughout. It isn’t even alphabetical. It is just a place to locate each team’s W/L and I already knew that. I keep a decent statbook on the 14u as I’ve done for all the previous league seasons for whatever age group my kids are playing. Based on interaction with other coaches and parents through the years, I’m not alone in my diligence. My own, albeit incomplete, standings look like this:

Team	W	L	PF	PA
Raiders	3	0	71	12
Argos	2	0	92	6
Mustangs	2	1	39	52
Irish	2	0	31	0
Jr Eagles	2	0	18	6
Liberty Lions	2	0	69	13
Dragons	1	2	41	53
Spartans	1	1	13	12
Force Football	1	1	27	19
Yuma Coyotes	1	1	7	27
Ridge Army	0	3	6	83
Elite Reapers	0	3	0	105
Jr Huskies	0	1	0	8
Devilbacks	0	0	0	0
Mesa Toros	0	2

The Devilbacks supposedly forfeited a game to the Yuma team we play this week, but beyond that the only missing information is the scores on the two Toros losses. One interesting fact about our league is how many games we play against PopWarner teams. Our first win came against a very good East Valley Trojans team that plays Pop Warner and has beaten every other Pop Warner club (there are only two others) as well as defeating the Jr Huskies. One of the two Mesa Toros losses came against the Pop Warner East Valley Huskies, who play the Argos this week. I’m excited to see how that turns out.

Our game is scheduled against the Yuma Coyotes. We have a ton of kids out in critical spots due to the fall break, but I am still confident we will get the big W. I’m excited, moving forward, to see how good we end up being. I hope the league puts together a set of standings that will recognize our success.

Let’s just call this the Legendary Loser edition. I’m writing it in honor of my Giants. It’s funny, actually. I always looked at teams like the Browns as throwaway franchises; doorstops you kicked over to get a better record. Yet here we are with another 0-3 season and I still want to believe the Giants are good. They aren’t. They are historically bad. They are right up there with the worst franchises over the past two decades and all I can do is hope they find a way not to suck; not to lose. And every week they find a way to get worse. Blake Martinez is now done. ACL. Really? Are we in a race for the bottom with the Jets and the Jags? How is it I honestly feel both of those teams would beat us by 20?!

Ah, well. I’m not holding my breath for a playoff run, but I’m looking forward to seeing a few good wins at some point. That some point probably isn’t against the Saints. Winston will throw a pick or two, but the end result is a beating. I’m picking the Saints here.

Here are some other picks on the week:

Bengals over Jags

Titans over Jets
Even without both top recievers, they won’t have a problem steamrolling the Jets. That play-action game works because Henry makes it work. I wish my youth team had a run game that unstoppable.

Chiefs over Eagles
Been a rough few weeks for the Chiefs, but I think they bounce back here.

Cowboys over Panthers
You hate to see it….

Browns over Vikings
This Browns team is really good on both sides of the ball. They don’t get the respect they deserve defensively. My kids keep reminding me they suck, but I’m like ‘Myles Garrett???’

Just time for the early games this post. I’ll pick up the rest tomorrow.

This is coming from my phone again, as I find myself blogging in bed. Some days are like today — where the world asks a lot of you and it’s hard to keep up. I’m drained but happy and looking forward to a tomorrow that is dedicated to writing and hanging with my partner. From there we start to tip toward a weekend filled with football and more words.

all this to say I’m cruising through the semester faster that I imagined possible. Things aren’t bad though. There is happiness here on the home front. I can’t ask for much more than that

As it turns out, I keep doing these posts in the evening when all my sense of creativity and deep thoughts have fled and I’m left talking about something ‘back of the mind’ like football be it youth or otherwise. I don’t want to think too deeply about that though. I’ve made significant progress compartmentalizing that aspect of my life to the point where I won’t even acknowledge Monday Night Football unless the Giants are playing.

So, what am I acknowledging instead?

I believe that is the key to sustaining happiness over the next 50 years that constitute the swell of my life. I need to discover what my partner and I want to do with our time. What is it going to be that defines us as us. What are we both about? While it is one thing to each have our own thing, it is another to only have our own thing. I’ve been thinking about the idea of what makes relationships last to the end and I truly believe this formula of yours, mine, ours is it.

Some Thoughts:

1. I remain afraid of dying. To be clear, I remain afraid of not existing.

I haven’t really talked about anything here in months. Tonight likely continues that trend as I stray into the category of Video Games and specifically NBA 2K22. I’ve been playing the game for weeks now and I don’t feel like I am improving all that much. I did the whole pay to play climb and got my character to the 80s and I’ve been grinding the season ever since. I am a Center for the Warriors (by draft not choice) and I’ve decided to ride it out for the year, eschewing the game-given methods of breaking away from your team or becoming a starter faster. Instead I’m playing and learning and trying to get better every time I hit the court. Part of the issue is that I’ve never played the position. I’ve never done it in real life or in a game. I like it. I like the opportunity to get those ShaqDunks and swat shots. Still, I don’t even really know how to shoot close or the controls for drop steps or any of that good stuff. I’m learning but it is taking time. Likewise I am learning how to be a good paint defender and rebounder. In those areas I know I am getting better. I’ve even considered switching the difficulty of the game to a higher level in order to grind for more badges. In NBA 2K badges make the player.

Badges are what got me blogging about this tonight. This year more than ever it feels like badges are combo bonuses. You have to have the right collection of them in order to do what you want to do in-game. The backdown badge on max level combined with drop step ought to allow you to activate the Rise Up badge to get a dunk on your defender. Oh, don’t forger posterizer! There is a lot that goes into the game and I’m still slowly learning it all.

Some Thoughts:

1. I’ve been wrong about basically everything in regards to football this year. Some of it is a good wrong, like how well my 14u team would do in a very crowded field of teams (we are 2-0). Some of it bad wrong like the success of the Giants D and O. Worst of all, I’ve been wrong about fantasy. Dead last kind of wrong.

I’ve been meaning to talk about the pro football game and I haven’t really had the chance to do so yet. So, let’s get into it tonight.

Giants over Falcons
This is about love. This is about watching an offense try to come together given the lack of depth along the offensive line. I don’t know how far the G-men can go this season without more cash spent along those O and D lines, but they are grinding and trying hard to win games. I think this is the week it happened.

Titans over Colts
QB questions in Indianapolis because their guy sprained both ankles. Yikes. King Henry is getting on track. That spells doom for a team that is gonna need to come from behind early.

Chiefs over Chargers
Chiefs just don’t lose two games in a row. They aren’t that team.

Bengals over Steelers
This is a big one for the Bengals. They have a lot to prove here, and I don’t know that the Steelers are the Steel Curtain without Watt playing this week.

Browns over Bears
Sure, Fields might be the great hope of Chicago, but he is still a rookie against a sick Browns defense and a Browns run game that is still underrated.

Cardinals over Jags

Ravens over Lions

Saints over Patriots
Too much of the deep ball. There will be picks but there will also be TDs.

Bills over Washington

Broncos over Jets

Raiders over Dolphins
Another QB goes on IR. Yikes. The Dolphins won’t be good for a long time. Still, my RB gotta eat.

Some Thoughts:

1. Surprisingly good turn for the youth game. We are 2-0 and we are a tough, physical team with the chance to break some big plays through the air and on the ground. We haven’t had the scoring we are expecting to see, but we will get there.

The thing about writing in public spaces is that you have to be able to shut down the world around you. This is easier to do in public spaces because, for me at least, I don’t have a stake in what is going on around me. There are all kinds of distractions to a writing life. Often the ones that are most egregious are the ones that are the most personal. At home I can lose an hour tidying up while I am supposed to be writing. That tidying needs to get done. That text needs to be responded to. That game film needs to be watched. Those games need to get played. That sweet partner of mine needs to be kissed. Yet out in the bright confines of a breakfast spot all of the distractions are of the ‘don’t really care’ variety. None of the people have any real meaning in my life, so the stakes for paying attention are extremely low.

This is by no means a long-term strategy. I can’t afford to eat out in a crowd every day. Likewise I have yet to establish an office vibe that simulates white noise effectively while allowing myself to forget the dust in the corners or the cricket I absolutely need to murder. I continue to work hard at developing the writing in that space, but from time to time I need to get out, get a hard reset, and write some stuff.

Some Thoughts:

1. I’ve written quite a bit about sadness and quitting the blog, etc. This is likely the result of a type of emotional co-dependence I’m happy to endure. I’m happiest when the people around me are happy; my partner most of all. I recognize that I need to maintain an emotional health/upside even when the two of us are out of balance.
2. My Fry’s card didn’t work this morning and it messed me up more than a little. I’ve been reading and watching a lot of corp dystopia stuff that always has that scene where a character’s data gets flagged as unusable. That is some scary stuff…