Author: admin

I’ve been thinking about time as a range rather than an arrow. Given existing theories that all time occurs at once, I have started to consider human life as a range of impact and experience. I have long held that when we ‘die’ it is only a perceptive end. We lose the ability to generate new memories, activities, motion, etc. Our initial energy lives on beyond that range of consciousness. This framework allows for concepts like, range of life (lifespan) to explain how different individuals can directly impact a range of activity within this flattened dot of time.

Our lifespan, or range of impact is the time where we have consciousness. This is the limited period in which we can directly affect what happens within the reality construct as well as be affected by the reality construct.

Here is where my thinking goes beyond: I believe we have the innate capacity to experience everything that occurs within our range. This does not explain the perception of ghosts (unless you consider overlapping ranges and the ability to perceptively connect with everyone within our range) but it does tie in with the theory that we are all one and connected.

I don’t know that the idea of range means anything right now. The range of human experience should be as long as the oldest person in the world’s lifespan to the most recently born individual’s possible death date. That range of experience does suppose that we have the ability to move forward as well as backwards, as all possible timelines have already occurred.

The central problem that Obama, Biden, and in fact any democrat has is this: The elections are being fought with two different set of rules. For the republicans, the rule is engage the base and sway the middle at all costs, no matter what lies need to be told or what promises need to be made. The democrats are under a separate rules condition. They must deal with the blatant lies and avoid calling anyone a liar or getting upset, laughing, or being condescending in the face of the lies being told.

This situation is the reason Obama bombed the first debate. He simply did not know what to do. If he responded by explaining the lies are lies with any semblance of emotion, he ran  the risk of becoming the ‘Angry Black Man’. If he laid back, as he did, and tried to show he was above the fray, he becomes a detached leader not used to conflict. The spotlight is on him and how he response to Romney’s obvious BS. The problem is there is no right response under this rulescape. He cannot be himself and tell it like it is. That would seem ‘unpresidential’. Meanwhile, if you go the incredulous route, you wind up with the situation that Biden faced. You state the facts, face down the lies, and wind up being called a buffoon for ‘picking on Ryan’.

Basically, the challenger is the victim. If you do anything to damage the victim, then you, as the big strong leader, are the bad guy. Nobody wants to elect the bad guy–well, except when a Bush is involved…

This is a sad Waiver Wednesday. I have reached the nearly unrecoverable record of 0-5. At this point I am 4 games back from first in my division and no threat to win a game, let alone make the playoffs. I am not sure I can win a game this year.

The fact is, players who were expected to have incredible seasons are having terrible seasons. Chris Johnson, who promised to return to his 2,000 yard form, is in line to crack 500 yds by the end of the season. MJD (pocket Hercules) has been far from heroic, languishing in an offense that shows no dedication to winning. My receiving corps came alive, but Andre Johnson, once the most dominating receiver, has vocalized an awful truth. He said he wanted to take less snaps to save himself for the playoffs.

So, I am losing all my games. No matter what free agent moves I make, I lose. The same is holding true for the picks this past week. AZ fell to STL on the way to my 10-4 week. I could/should have done better. My record stand at 47 – 29, which puts me behind a number of prominent ‘pick men’ including Mortensen who at 55-22 is up on me by 8. There is still the 1 game I missed picking, so for now I will mark it down as a loss. 47 – 30. Tied with Golic. Lets break the deadlock, shall we?

PIT over TEN
Pittsburgh is a solid team on both sides of the ball whereas CJ0K has to be worried about losing his job. I blame the scheme. Johnson should be the focal point of the offense, but he doesn’t get the carries and doesn’t have the sort of zone scheme that will help him be successful. So what happens? TEN loses again, and my fantasy team follows.

ATL over OAK
ATL has all cylinders firing on offense. Oakland’s D can only slow them. Meanwhile, the Raider O hasn’t found its voice yet.

CIN over CLE
Cleveland is a stinky city. I have said this again and again. There is a sewage smell in the streets and now on the field.

MIA over STL
Miami is getting its stuff together. STL still stinks.

NYJ over IND
Sorry, Mr. Luck. There will be no Wayne this week. Cromartie is legit. He put down Johnson last week and looks to shut down Wayne this week, just as the chemistry between QB and receiver is coming together.

PHI over DET
It is going to be a close game or a blowout. It will be a defensive struggle or a pointsplosion. Fact is, I have no idea who is going to win this game, because I don’t know who the Eagles are. They win games, but they look real shady.

TB over KC
Backup QB means bad things for KC.

BAL over DAL
Ravens D is going to be the story here. Dallas, even after a week off, is still a chump team.

ARI over BUF
Buffalo is awful. Each week their defense sets a record for futility. Once a Camden hopeful, Mario Williams just hopes to keep his job. Expect hundreds upon hundreds of offensive yards for the cards. Fitz is going to go off.

SEA over NE
Seattle is tough at home. NE is not the team they used to be, and the new reliance on the running attack is going to fall flat here. Carroll is one of maybe 5 coaches that can best Bellicheck.

NYG over SF
Toughest pick of the night. I think it will be close as can be. I actually switched this pick to the G-men at the last minute, because it is a road game. Giants do better away from the distractions of the big apple.

MIN over WSH
Minnesota has been a legit team. With Washington having absolutely no answer for Adrian Peterson, and their QB possibly on ice, I give it to MIN.

GB over HOU
Houston’s secondary made Sanchez look (almost) good. Real deal Rodgers is going to produce more offense than the Jets could muster, and if HOU doesn’t control the clock, they will fall.

DEN over SD
Denver is up and down. Manning is getting his game right. Despite all of this, I see them as a better success story than San Diego

37 yrs and I’ve learned something new each one. This year’s lesson is about impressions. See, they change very quickly. People expect a lot of you and then the see how you handle it and they, sometimes, expect far less. How you respond to the decreased pressure says everything about your ability to lead and be successful.

The only problem is I haven’t organized my response to the situation. Not yet. I’m slogging along, trying to assemble the various threads of important activity and doing all of it during business hours and, when possible, between 9 and 2 AM. This of course is unhealthy, because it pares back the couple time I have with my wife to nothing and my time to pursue personal writing to far below nothing.

How do I reconcile this? I am not really sure about that part yet. You’d think after 37 yrs I would have found a way to recognize how my life works on a daily basis and make space for all of the parts of life and forms of happiness I think I need. Sadly, no such luck.

Instead I slip away to the worlds displayed on my TV and live vicariously through the wonderful characters portrayed on screen. TV is a wonderful escape, and everyone needs one. The problem lives in not having the time to escape and to dwell in the now. Or at least in not being able to calculate the time to do both.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I have lost every fantasy football match up this season. I am hardly a threat to make the playoffs, which mean $100 gone. Where the f–k did I spend it?

Week two of the me project. I went out and played ball again. This time is was an epic fail. I dropped more balls than I caught. I could not get open. I could hardly stay on my feet. The reason behind this epic nightmare really boils down a very sick three year old and a sleepover.

My eldest had a friend staying over, which meant the youngest was in my room. To make matters worse, he was sick all night long, crying, vomiting, and carrying on. I probably slept 2 hours total last night. I woke up after 8 for an 8:30 game and hustled out of the house without eating or drinking anything. At least I brought a water bottle.

Take it from a 37 yr old with the body of a 49 yr old; you cannot hope to be successful going at it cold like that. Although I didn’t cramp or pull anything, my right knee feels swollen and my legs ache like I replaced all my blood with lactic acid. It is clear that I am out of shape and need to do much more in order to be ready for sundays. I need to be in the gym twice a week at least. I will try to hit the gym on wednesday and, in a few weeks, add friday to the routine. If I can do that, bringing in all of the extra workouts, and do some more on the side with the kids, I will be legitimately game ready in a month.

That is when the pounds will be ready to come off.

I still think like a kid. Sure, I have all the trappings of adulthood. I have the job, the family, the responsibilities, but I think like a kid. I play, I laugh, I run. I want to have fun every day. This different style of thought allows me to really enjoy my everyday and, I believe, connect with my kids on a basic level.

I suspect the problem with modern life is this inability to connect with our own youth vs. behaving like we still are youth. Some grown people will fight wars over imagined slights, harkening back to the machismo of youth. Meanwhile, others may see imagined slights and, like kids, get over it real fast.

I suppose I am making more out of this than I should, and that too is a kid’s approach to life. Everything is bigger. Everything is of the utmost importance and failure hurts real bad–until the next thing comes along. You care about everything everyone thinks about you until you don’t. You fall in love hard and fast and stay in love as long as possible. You eat like a monster and stay thin forever.

I’m rambling now.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I put the (I) there, because at some point I want to discuss the possibility that thought itself is an illusion; that we think we think but in fact are hypercomplex self-replicating biological computers merely responding to our programming and processing input. But that is a conversation that cannot be written while watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

I’m watching Rhona Mitri do Cinemax action porn. No nudity for Rhona, but the show usually fills us up with the requisite sex to go along with the violence of each episode. The show is good; a guilty pleasure to whisk away an hour of my friday night better spent writing or grading. I watch because I enjoy it, because it looks great on a 51″ screen, and especially because I think this is where we are headed with TV. The last few notable new shows drifted away from the rote cop and lawyer drama into the realm of the military. Shows like Strike Back, Homeland, and Last Resort draw on our perceptions of the military life and give us civilians and new vets something to stare at.

I cannot speak for the vets. I would not assume that doctors, lawyers, and cops are watching their TV counterparts glorify their trade. Likewise I am not going to assume vets are flooding the chat boards with praise of the old new military genre. Still, there is no question that soldiers are coming home, and people who have no experience with the veteran class have questions about what it is they lived through and may still carry with them. These shows sensationalize that, but they also recognize the soldier as a person and a hero. That is why I think they’re working.

I watch Strike Back for the thrills. I watch Homeland for the intrigue. I watch Last Resort, because I haven’t seen anything like it before. I will continue to watch, and if something new and military comes along, I will be more inclined to watch that too.

Some Thoughts:

1. I had an opportunity to change my vote on the Cardinals game, because I posted after it began. I maintained my integrity and it cost me a win.
2. Feels like I’m getting a handle on my responsibilities for the semester. The difficult part is to sit down and really get out from under the work and to a place where I can mark priorities and push through what needs to be done inside the classroom, in the office, and in my writing life.
3. Vegas trip this November with some great friends and coworkers. I’m excited!

A broken clock is right twice a day. Unfortunately, one that works can be wrong all the time. My fantasy season is starting to shape up that way. For starters, I benched the 49’rs Defense and they had the greatest defensive performance of this young season. On the other hand, my pick ’em success has been a real ego boost for me. The trend continued this week with a 9-6 record. Some of the picks were (failures in red):

BAL over CLE
SF over NYJ
ATL over CAR
CHI over DAL
GB over NO
HOU over TEN
MIN over DET
ARI over MIA
STL over SEA 

BUF over NE 
KC over SD
OAK over DEN
JAC over CIN
TB over WAS
NYG over PHI

 

On to the picks for this week:

AZ over STL
I know I’m posting this as the game is still going on, but this pick came long before the game (that the cards were losing last check) started. The Cardinals will continue to roll until faced with the possibility of playoffs.

MIA over CIN
Miami is on the verge and the QB has stayed loose all season. If Bush can do his thing in the screen game, there will be a reckoning in Cincy.

GB over IND
This could turn into a shootout. I think Rodgers has more ammo in his chamber than Luck.

BAL over KC
No comment needed.

NYG over CLE
I almost called this the other way. Giants are dejected following a close loss in Philly.

PIT over PHI
PIttsburgh doesn’t have the same sort of history with PHI that the G-Men do, which means that they won’t be worried and will handle their biz–especially after watching tape on the pass rush last week.

ATL over WASH
Falcons are used to the VIck type. That’s all we need to know.

CAR over SEA
As a home game, I give this to Carolina.

CHI over JAC
Jacksonville is not a good team. I feel that they are a worse offensive engine than the Bears and definitely don’t have the defensive capacity of the Bears D. Fact is, Jacks may have hit their win quota for the year.

MIN over TEN
I can’t express how surprising this season has been. MIN is back and in charge of their destiny to a certain extent. They have the chance to be a wildcard team. TEN does not. I expect Johnson to continue striving for 100 yds. So long as he has Hassleback, he’ll get it.

DEN over NE
NE had to resort to the run game and the D in order to survive the best BUF could offer prior to the implosion. Now, DEN is not BUF. I don’t think Brady is the QB he used to be and that is going to show against this solid defensive unit.

SF over BUF
See above re: implosion. BUF is done for the year.

NO over SD
The line must be drawn here. NO cannot go 0-5. Nope.

HOU over Jets
Another season long past the sell-by date. Very sad for my team…

I am not sure when the cycle began. Maybe it was the moment my son ran into my room screaming and calling out apologies. It might have been the moment before, when I heard the ceiling fan come apart in his room. The more I struggle to recall the starting point, the more glimpses of dismay slide into focus. There was the moment after My son’s music concert last night when the strap came loose from my $200 camera and it crashed to the ground. The flat tire signal coming on. The strange sounds the car made all throughout the evening and well into this new day. Then, of course, there is the matter of the missing wallet.

I cannot say when it went missing. The range of time spirals outward from school night at McDonalds, where I last used it. I noticed the missing wallet this morning and have since been frantically searching for it to no avail. As I write this post I am taking a break from cleaning my car. Any hope that it slipped out of my pocket and on to the car floor faded with the writing of these words.

I have never really lost a wallet, so I have a lot to learn about replacing all of the cards and information I stored there. I have experienced a spin cycle, or downward spiral, or black cloud–whatever name people use these days to express those moments of utter hopelessness where everything seems to turn out wrong. I am hoping some things turn out right, or at least I can find the start time, so I have a better sense of when this nightmare will end.

This sort of thing comes around once a year at least. The duration often depends on the intensity, and it is generally limited to electronics. Since this has nothing to do with electronics, I might be experiencing something else entirely; some new form of trial designed to test me in ways I would not have imagined.

Or maybe it is penance for giving that horrible TV show, Revolution, a second chance last night. The moment I hit record on the DVR I knew I was making a mistake. No matter the cause or outcome, the real battle is how I deal with this adversity as it happens.

So far, I think I am holding up okay.