37 yrs and I’ve learned something new each one. This year’s lesson is about impressions. See, they change very quickly. People expect a lot of you and then the see how you handle it and they, sometimes, expect far less. How you respond to the decreased pressure says everything about your ability to lead and be successful.
The only problem is I haven’t organized my response to the situation. Not yet. I’m slogging along, trying to assemble the various threads of important activity and doing all of it during business hours and, when possible, between 9 and 2 AM. This of course is unhealthy, because it pares back the couple time I have with my wife to nothing and my time to pursue personal writing to far below nothing.
How do I reconcile this? I am not really sure about that part yet. You’d think after 37 yrs I would have found a way to recognize how my life works on a daily basis and make space for all of the parts of life and forms of happiness I think I need. Sadly, no such luck.
Instead I slip away to the worlds displayed on my TV and live vicariously through the wonderful characters portrayed on screen. TV is a wonderful escape, and everyone needs one. The problem lives in not having the time to escape and to dwell in the now. Or at least in not being able to calculate the time to do both.
Some Thoughts:
- I have lost every fantasy football match up this season. I am hardly a threat to make the playoffs, which mean $100 gone. Where the f–k did I spend it?