Uncategorized

I asked my eldest yesterday how many of his middle school friends had cell phones. He said, “All of them, daddy.” Somehow I was still surprised by the statement. It didn’t matter that the hallways of my college are filled with students not talking to each other, heads hung and eyes straining to see the world that lives behind a tiny screen. The ubiquity of the cellphone is real. Also real is the social disassociation that arises as a result of it.

Google ‘cell phones and social interaction’ and it will take you to a list of sites starting with an intelligent article by psychology today discussing how cell phones are changing human social interactions. People break up by text. It sounds like a joke but it isn’t. Also real is the fact that these devices provide another layer of insulation between people that is so compelling that individuals often actively ignore the live person standing right next to them in order to dive into a more-distant and virtual relationship.

No point in asking why. It is a lot easier to deal with someone in a time frame that allows you to consider and reflect upon your responses than it is to deal with people in real time. Likewise, tone in texts can be manufactured or obscured at your whim. It is much harder to hide the body language tells of tone in a face to face interaction.

The psychology of cell phones fascinates me to no end, and I want to have more time in my life to study it. I can say this: The way we interact with each other in public spaces is changing for the more distant. We are becoming less and less comfortable with interacting with people who aren’t our close friends. As a result I feel people are becoming more isolated and less diverse.

It is a problem that needs to be studied, or at least considered sooner rather than later.

 

I think I might be part of a dying species.

I say this with the understanding that I may have already written about this previously, but the idea lives in my mind and seems to explain so many differences between the generation I was raised in and the one in which I am raising my children. I will start by staying that I was born in the age of Atari. I played pong when it came out. I remember my many phone conversations being centered around the kitchen wall where the phone lived, my orbit determined by just how far I could stretch the cord. I remember school being about memorization, procedural understanding, and depth of knowledge. I remember when kilobytes were a big deal.

I am no Luddite. I can program in multiple languages (some of which are outdated by now), and strip and build a computer the way military folk breakdown a rifle. Still, I come from an era where I thought about such things very differently. I come from an era where information was internalized and commoditized, where if you did not know something, you simply did not know it and had to locate someone who did or otherwise locate a library or similar location where that knowledge could be slowly absorbed.

Consider that world I am talking about. People knew things and studied them often to the point of at least a degree of specialization. Bob knows how to do X, I know how to do Y and together we can develop Z. We collaborated out of necessity, because carrying multiple forms of knowledge and multiple skillsets was a rare thing.

Today’s world is not at all about what you know. If I ask (or have) a question about anything I can run to the web for the published (and polished) response. I don’t have to be a portable internal library of information, because the portable library is sitting in my pocket, and it makes phone calls too! As a result, the type of knowledge this new species needs is about access and application. We are no longer expecting people to recite Shakespeare verbatim, but to know how to find any line of any given play and interpret that line in a way that is reflective of our needs at that moment.

 

Somehow I have to raise the new species and teach them along the way.

I guess the ‘next man up’ philosophy is still intact in Buffalo. EJ Manuel is next up at QB, and we don’t have a clue what the RB situation is there. I feel for Rex Ryan. The dude cannot catch a break anywhere. Still, he’s been doing fairly well this season under heavy duress. The win his team pulled out last week was on par with what the Giants managed to do that same day. Both teams are moving, inexorably, in the right direction. It is no surprise how I see the NY teams then and no surprise that my Waiver picks target EJ as a QB (if you need one). He’s going to rely on his legs and his short routes, with maybe or shot or two downfield. The key: let the talent around you get open in space. Of course, it would help to know who that talent is…

On to the picks!

NO over ATL
The Falcons are heading into a buzz saw of a home game. I see a lot of scoring here, but in the end the Saints will slow Julio Jones enough to pull out a win.

Jets over Redskins
This is a trap game, but I think the last one served its purpose well. The Jets are now very awake and their #2, Eric Decker, is going to bring down the house.

PIT over AZ
The Cards are very good this year, but this is a home game and the Steelers run game at home will not be denied.

Vikings over Chiefs
Not enough weapons left for the Chiefs to be competitive. The whole offense hinges on one player. I know what that looks like from personal experience. Once that player goes down, the rest of the plan goes to poo. Next man up hasn’t been a thing in KC for a long time.

Bills over Bengals
This is a tough NY pick. The toughest ever. Everything I know says not to pick these guys, especially after the Bengals mopped up Seattle. Still, I think the weaknesses the Bills have are in the areas where the Bengals aren’t strong anyhow.

Bears over Lions
Defense is going to be a problem for both sides. The Bears need this win and I think the momentum from last week carries them through this week.

Broncos over Browns
I don’t think Peyton is comfortable in the offense yet, but I think the D is playing well enough to make this thing work. I also believe the Browns run D isn’t much to look at and the Broncos will exploit that greatly.

Texans over Jaguars
I think the Texans D finally gets on track this week and they do some serious damage against a Jags team that is finally starting to come around as well. I believe this so much that I am streaming their defense.

Titans over Dolphins
Dolphins in too much flux.

Seahawks over Panthers
Packers over Chargers
Ravens over 49rs
Colts over Patriots
Giants over Eagles

I’ve come to the understanding that I am a TV junkie. Like, ‘where is my next hit coming from?’ junkie. Lately the hits keep coming, but they are weak at best. I’ve dabbled in Limitless, returned to Castle, retired NCIS: Los Angeles (Sorry LL, your show is crap. Always has been.), tried hanging with Ballers, studied The Player, learned to Fear the Walking Dead, and so on. Through all of this I learned that there is not much out there worth watching. Fortunately, the situation isn’t a total bust.

If you are into the late night shows then feel good about all three that are running right now. While much has been said about the Tonight Show and the Late Show, equally impressive has been the release of Trevor Noah’s Daily Show. I am happy to say that Noah picked up where Stewart left off, bringing a cuisson of international humor and flavor to a show that had started to become a bit closed off in some ways. I’m happy to know that the show will continue providing the sharp political commentary it has thus far, and though there is an appreciable drop off in the level of intellect provided in the interviews, it is still early and I remain hopeful.

I am also pleased with last night’s return of The Walking Dead. AMC is a hit machine. With its most notable franchise the channel has decided to go away from the dying light and invigorate the series with a big budget, big bang opening episode that promises more human (and ex-human) confrontation than we’ve seen in a while. Rick’s humanity is on the line here–what’s left of it–and we are starting to see what the long term effects of Zombie World really are.

So that’s the rundown thus far. More when I dream it up…

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I am going to hold off on talking about The Martian until I read the book. I have some ideas about why certain scenes and plot devices were included–ideas that relate to how the box office works–but I will refrain until the text tells me more.
2. Sometimes stories start as a result of scripting and outlining–planning the trajectory of a greater idea. Sometimes it can be as simple as a glimpse into another reality. For example, I just started working on a short that started with a conversation I ‘overheard’ in my head. The first line was, Bob said…. And then it goes on to this place where there is a bob and I am writing from the POV of the guy he is talking to. There was no plan in place, no story form or idea. Just Bob and Elliot talking in my head.
3. No, I’m not crazy. Writers, you get me.

 

At least the Giants won.

The game turned into a real nail-biter in the final minutes with the Giants finally pressing and scoring to take the lead. I think like is a lot like that for me. Things get really bleak and dark before anything wonderful can happen. That being said, I must be in line for a great deal of wonderful. As far as the Giants are concerned I am watching Odell Beckham Jr. in tears after a tough win. Things matter more when you work for them; when you earn them you respect what you’ve earned.

So, what have I earned? It is a question I ask myself each day. It is followed by, what am I working towards? Professionally, I am working towards being a respected novelist. I expect that respect to come from those in the community–those who understand what we go through in order to put writing together.

In my personal life I think I have earned at least a peek at happiness. I recognize that true happiness and through and through good partnerships are rare beasts. Mostly we hold on to something that is decent and safe. We huddle together in the darkness of life and try to make the best of each day. Or maybe we don’t. Maybe we linger in the darkness, breathing it in and exhaling spite and disappointment.

We all deal in different ways.

I came to the decision early on in this process to limit my posts about divorce. It isn’t fair to the ex to go on and on about such things. Therefore, this isn’t a post about divorce, but a post about parenting in the after. As much as I like to think I consider the impact of divorce on kids, it isn’t something I actually know how to consider. I can speculate and presume for days. I can fall back on the old adage, ‘they’re young and will get over it’ but the truth is I don’t know. What I do know is that it is hard for kids as young as mine to really comprehend divorce beyond the confusion of having two homes, two separate lives, and two separate sets of parents. It seems that for me, the youngest is having the hardest time dealing with all of it; he doesn’t quite know how to react.

Kids react differently to stressors and divorce is a greater form of that. It is a permanent condition that fractures both trust and understanding, taking away a child’s ability to be truly comfortable at ‘home’ given that often home shifts every few days. I struggle with that aspect of it personally. I will never get used to hearing my kids talk about my house or mommy’s house, never once deigning to call either their home. I also struggle with the idea that when they are with one parent they are missing the other. This temporary yet regularly scheduled sense of loss will indeed follow them throughout childhood. I don’t know what impact it will have on them emotionally, short of resulting in my trying even harder to enjoy the moments we have together and thus possibly providing unrealistic expectations of how parent-child relationships are supposed to be.  I do it because I love them and part of that love is wanting to protect them and wanting them to feel safe. I want to be a good dad, but I don’t want that to mean that they don’t miss their mom. I want her to be a good mom, but I don’t want that to mean they don’t miss me.

Parenting is hard with both parents, but parenting in the after of divorce is something I’m learning to live with.

 

I figured out a pattern: When I get the rule out early in the day I tend to write more that evening. This is not to say the rule is a chore, but instead is a catalyst; a responsibility that reminds me of what I need to do in order to feel satisfied with my day. Writing brings me complete satisfaction. My worst day ever was better than it should have been because I wrote. I unburdened myself of the enormous pile of words laying on my psyche.

When I was a kid, I decided that lies were like thin layers of cloth one placed on top of their consciousness. The more lies the harder it becomes for your thoughts to shine through. The blog is not that kind of weight, but the general idea of the thought was that these lies become, like everything else, responsibilities and responsibilities are what shape you and create the pathways of what you are able to do.

The more I step into the writer’s life, the more I feel capable of doing. I feel strong and proud about the work I am starting to put forth as a writer and as a teacher as well. I think that feeling good about these things I do lead to doing these things better.

There ain’t nothing better than that.

Ben Carson isn’t the guy.

I know a lot of people are high on the image of Carson, a true-speaking Washington outsider with supposedly hardline Republican principals and  , apparently, the appeasing skin color. I am not high on him at all. He is a smart man, but smart isn’t enough to be a president. He is fragmented and carries a tone that suggests that he would struggle in high-stakes negotiations with world leaders and would be unable to handle the press. Basically, as a charismatic figure, he is no Reagan. He is no Obama. He’s a Bush. No, not the good one.

In terms of the democratic race, there isn’t a story there. The news keeps trying to make one, because they have to say something, but there isn’t anything there. No fire but lots of smoke and mirrors. Clinton is going to be the nominee and the voters know it. Do I want her to be my president? Not particularly. I am not excited by the prospect of a Clinton white house (that isn’t run by Bill, of course), but I respect that the White House will stay the course and, unfortunately, continue this cycle of political disarray that has become the way our government operates. I am less excited about the prospect of a hardline Republican in cahoots with a Republican senate and house that repeals everything from health care (what a mess that would be) to women’s rights and goes hunting for Reagan-era economic policies in an era that has evolved so far beyond those antiquated structures that to go back would be tantamount to American economic suicide.

So yeah, I’m back on Trump again.

 

Lately I’ve become the kind of guy who finds fault in stuff. I will, for example, look at an event I’m a part of and dissect the planning and execution, finding holes and complaining about how things could have been so much better. Still, I remain the guy on the other side of that fence who has planned events and had holes and felt pretty darn annoyed when someone pointed out all the things that sucked and overlooked the good. So, I’ve been on both sides of it and I understand intimately the amount of work it takes to put on an event, run a team, etc.

Still I complain.

I don’t think that makes me a jerk. I think it is important to point out flaws in the system in order to improve the system. It is equally important to handle it respectfully, if bluntly, though the two never seem to have much in common. I fear that too often people are overly concerned with the feelings of the individuals who are messing up and less concerned about conveying the information accurately. Its one of those, “We don’t want Adam to feel bad, but…” situations.

Fortunately, I’m not talking about anything or anyone specific today. It is just a thought bubble that popped up while I was developing a calendar of the stuff I need to do and plan over the next 21 days.  Yes, three weeks from now I expect to have a great deal of stuff handled and be in a position where, moving forward, life is organized enough to provide me with room to relax and focus on self-confidence and self-improvement. These are the areas that take the biggest hit when I am swamped, backlogged, and struggling to find balance.

Fortunately, these are the things that are buoyed by a healthy support structure. I’m working on that part too.

Some Thoughts:

1. Football: Giants are tied for first in the NFC East and will move to 1st all alone if they win and the Cowboys take that (inevitable) loss to the Patriots. I’m excited about this season, in spite of what was perceived (prematurely) as a bad start. Still, we could use a good defensive trade… or Landry. We would benefit from that dude…

I decided, on a bit of a lark, to move the waiver to Tuesday’s this season. The thought behind this is that it makes more sense to talk about players being added and dropped when the information could prove useful as opposed to after the wire has already ended on a Wednesday. Now I will probably reflect on some losses and gains come Wednesdays, but for now I am content with discussing player movements at a more relevant time.

One player move that worked in the short term was the pickup of Dunbar (RB) for the Cowboys. He was a PPR pickup and paid out some as a flex this week. It wasn’t terribly much but it floated me and my partner to a win. Of course, he tore his knee up in that game so he will be on the IR moving forward. Who should I replace him with at flex? There are a handful of choices.

Eric Decker/Leonard Hankerson, WR
Flex is about a playmaker who gets points. Decker has fit quite naturally into his #2 position, and generates +10 points each time he plays, with a possibility of breaking 20 every game. I mean EVERY game. Hankerson is a feast or famine option based on how well Julio Jones is being held in check. I’d go for Decker if available.

Kick Pick
The kicker is an oft overlooked position that has increasing value this season, given the proliferation of sputtering offenses. To that end I suggest bringing in a streamer. There is still enough talent out there that you are best off taking the week by week look for the best possible D. Matchup. Few teams are getting shut out. Most are putting up 9, and we know how they get there.

D-Nice
Don’t fret if you cannot get the Broncos or the Seahawks. Odds are the Giants are available. I’m serious. Though often laughed at due to a lack of real starpower on the D-line, the Giants have quietly become a force to be reckoned with. Considering their schedule moving forward, I think there is real hope here.