2713. On Teaching and Learning

*Note: This post didn’t get uploaded on Friday because I was too lazy. I’ll explain in tonight’s post.

Spending some time away from division meetings at the collegiate level has reminded me of the disconnect between how colleges are run/assessed and how students are taught. While teaching is/should be at the heart of what we do at any school, it feels like the administration of and analysis/reporting of that teaching is a larger part of what teachers actually do.

In teaching writing I often talk about the 60/40 and 80/20 rules In critical analysis I invite the students to structure their work as 60% evidence and 40% analysis and argumentation. Science pushes that evidence vs. analysis spread to 80/20. This is merely my rule and doesn’t reflect the actual functioning of the multiverse. It does, on the other hand, create a fair comparison to the to what the functioning role of a community college professor feels like. 60-80% of these meetings have little to do with the actual teaching.

We are focused on collecting and reporting data. We are focused on assessing individuals, classes, and programs. We speak a jargon-filled language that inevitably bleeds into the classroom and into how we communicate with students who don’t really need to hear or learn our language.

A part of this meeting/working time is about building community amongst the teachers. Now a lot of that community is forged in the mutual disdain for such meetings, but beyond this we do effort to create real communication and real differences and consistency between what is taught between the levels and classes and how that is carried out. I would love to see a school where the classes offer the same basic content from top flight instructors who all approach it from a very different angle–so much so that variants of students would be super engaged in both class and community. Jargon free: I want good teaching that looks different in each class.

One can dream.

2579. On Black Privilege

I have privilege.

Whenever I step on a court or a field there is a level of respect offered to me that doesn’t go to non-black players. Without knowing me and despite the pregnant-like gut, I am considered a top athlete. I have access to scholarships and opportunities that others will never have. I am looked to in order to join circles that lack faces that look like my own, so those circles may be able to say they know my people and my plight and, above all else, my privilege.

It has been this way since I’ve gone to predominantly white schools. There remains a baseline assumption that I can ball, no matter the sport. This is often accompanied by an assumption of a skillset that I largely do not possess. No, I cannot hotwire a car. No, I don’t know how to find a dealer. No, there is no cousin in prison (anymore). These assumptions afford a certain level of privilege and respect in certain environments. As I said before, I am never the last one picked for a pick up game though I often should be. Instead I am looked to as a natural leader, a captain among inferior men.

Thus is my privilege, one born of athletics and a presumed toughness that makes me right for the court. After all, weren’t my people bred to be bad ass? Did we not survive some of the worst persecution and torture known in the history of man? don’t our ancestors bear the scars of whips, the PTSD of the master’s touch?

Are we not children of the oppressed?

I write these words as an echo of recent quarrels. Listen to a middle class white student and you will here a constant refrain: They are the oppressed and we, the minority, are the children of privilege and handouts and opportunities that they were never afforded.

Perhaps in a sense they are right. There is no minority scholarship for middle class whites. There is no expectation of Physical prowess or street smarts. They lack the privilege into which I was born.

But this does not mean they lack privilege themselves. Perhaps they ought to acknowledge theirs as I have mine.

2051. On Teaching and Writing

I’ve been thinking about my novel writing class and the way I give students little character assignments to do every day without clearly defining why I give them those specific assignments. In reality the idea is to engender thinking about the characters every day and to do so in a way that causes the characters to evolve in their minds to the point where they become a part of the writer’s daily thoughts and activities. There is nothing so compelling as a character demanding their story be told. Characters are like ghosts in that fashion. There is something they want—something that needs to get accomplished, but your pen is the only thing capable of making it come to pass.

I think that when I teach I do so in a fashion reflective of how I would love to write and think and be. It is, in that sense, a bit like parenting. “Do as I say, not as I do.” Meanwhile I rail against that notion in conversation more than action. In fact I would very much like to be the ‘do as I do’ guy both in writing and as a parent, but I am indeed human and often make poor choices. I can Monday morning quarterback the heck out of that situation as a teacher and a dad.

Hindsight is 20/20 (cliché but legit), so it does benefit my students to realize that it is often best to be haunted by your characters. In truth, my best fiction is the result of haunting. As the ghosts grow stronger, their history deepening in my veins, the story becomes a part of me and must be released unto the page. I say this as I am harboring yet another ghost and soon expect to birth his story.

 

Some Thoughts:

  1. No Waiver Wednesday today. I don’t have the internet connection right now and cannot get a sense of who is playing. I’ll put it together in the morning when I post this bad boy.
  2. Tackle begins this weekend and I heard tell that there is a bounty of sorts on my kids’ team. They blazed through the GYFL last year, only being slowed by the top two teams. Well, we kick off the season against one of them and they are looking to lay some big hits on our kids. They apparently are interested in intimidating them to the point where they don’t want to play anymore. I don’t see that happening, but I’m interested to see that these kids are looking for a fight. This is my first experience going to a small town where the entire town is behind the football program and it starts at age 6. I feel like I’m in Texas, but I’m not. Culturally, this is going to be a fun one.

1790. On Grades, Grading, and a new Schema

Fact: Students don’t understand the way I grade. I hear it every semester. What I do is apparently abnormal. To make matters worse, I change what I do every semester. I allow my grading system to evolve organically, sometimes even throwing the whole thing out to build something new. I’m thinking about doing just that again. The problem as I see it is a near complete disconnect between myself and students on the role and value of grades.

The one thing students and I agree on is the final grade. What you get at the end of a semester is supposed to mean something. I think the shared understanding ends at that point. Often students suggest that the final grade should be a reflection of growth (largely stated by low performers who improve) or overall knowledge (stated by those who knew stuff coming in and or worked hard to master content). Grade as a measure of ability and or knowledge is a staple of the academic industry, but it is not a consistent measure or even defined in terms of what it is meant to define. What a final grade means to me is you came in and received one semester’s worth of learning. During that semester you hit (and often exceeded) a plateau. The grade, in that sense, is the opening of a gate that allows you to move on to the next gate, next level, next mini-boss on your way to conquering this game of education.

I’ve approached grading in a plethora of ways. The most common grading modality as of late is the base 10 method with each class being worth a certain number of points (usually a thousand) and each assignment being a fraction of that figure. Now this leads to students trying to ‘game the system’ working as hard as they can to get points in specific assignments to reach their grade. I layer a ‘gaming system’ on top of this that focuses on the group work and competitive academics. The games give points and those are tabulated at the end of the semester with the top team getting a 10% grade boost based on winning the game. This system confuses students mainly because they aren’t used to games being a part of a grade and because they are often terrified of group work. I get it, having my grade in the hands of someone I’ve known for only 16 weeks is crappy, but the fact remains that collaborative success or failure is a part of the world economic system. Of course, teaching (primarily) teens means that individuality is bursting from their DNA.

Rarely I apply Peter Elbow’s grading contract philosophy. Its a ‘gamed up’ and ‘talised’ version of the thing, but the general idea is that you have a contract to complete specified tasks. If such work is completed it results in the grade you asked for. It also allows for you to ‘outplay’ your contract and for teams (groups) to hold your contract rights. This is also complicated on the surface but is modeled after the NFL-CBA, which a majority of my students (the dudes at least) seem to have a basic understanding of.

I don’t know what is going to happen in the next semester, but I’m still gestating ideas for a new plan. I need to come to a common ground and understanding with students so the focus is on what is learned and not what grade they get.

 

Maybe that is just a pipe dream.

 

Some Thoughts:

  1. 1790 was the year England introduced Chrysanthemums to China. It sounds minor on the surface but it was the first of many invasive re-plantings that would have never occurred in a non-globalized society…

1708. Reflections on a Thursday Morning

These last few weeks have offered me an amazing opportunity for self reflection. I had an opportunity to reflect on myself as a writer, father, and husband, allowing myself space to consider what needs to be done in order to be successful and grow in all phases of my life. The truth is that it comes down to the individual. A person either has it in them to be successful or they don’t. The ‘don’ts’ litter the planet, comprising the bulk of us–unmotivated drones moving through our lives with the motivation to just be happy enough or not to make too many waves or do anything that might put us and thus our skills and attributes in anyone’s spotlight. Others aim to be successful within their own lives and excel at something, be it as a mother, a friend, as scrapbooker, a fantastic employee, etc. I don’t think it matters what drives you so long as you remain driven and allow yourself to create the conditions that stoke that drive–that fire.

In other words, my idea of a fabulous life and a fabulous person is someone who doesn’t get in their own way. In retrospect, I haven’t been that guy in a very long time. I often let doubt and lack of motivation or laziness slither through me, backing me slowly away from the daily life I hope to lead. At one point it got so bad that I was no longer sire what kind of life I wanted, and became convinced that where I’d gotten to this point was enough–not just for now but forever–and I didn’t need to effort to get any further in my personal, emotional, and even professional development.

I’m learning to step away from that ledge. I’m learning to accept that once you accept that ‘this is it’ then the body and mind begin to wither and the heart and soul, once strong and full of lust and pride, shrivels and accepts even the smallest show of courage, or affection, or satisfaction as enough to get you through the day. A long time ago someone asked me, ‘what is enough for you?’ A year ago I would’ve said ‘A good TV show and a bag of chips’. That isn’t enough anymore. I’m reminding myself to want need more to get me through the day. I’m reminding myself each morning, afternoon, and night that we create the circumstances of our own happiness and perfection and that each of us has the fortitude within us to be more.

1561. The Miracle of Little Gains

Today I started work in earnest on the backyard. When the wifey and the kids come home they might notice it. They might not. I’m sure someone in the family will say, “Did you even do anything?” and I’ll bite back the momentary frustration, retreating into my zen and thinking that what I did, though a small visible change, is an enormous change. If you look at my 5 yr old and consider the enormity of his transformation from 4.5 to 5, it looks like nothing changed at all, but the change is real. It is evident to those who were around him to help his emotional and mental growth. Likewise, the change in the yard is minor to outside forces, but having initiated it, and seeing my attitude towards the space shift monumentally, I recognize how much work I put into the start of something new and something great.

Activation energy is a miracle. It can be something as minor as finally picking up a weight or walking for twenty minutes or doing your first chore. It can be something epic like finally jumping into the pool and trying to swim or finally picking up the pen to write that novel. The pendulum of success swings on intention. I feel good to have finally harnessed enough intention to pick up the tools and start creating a space I want to spend the best Arizona months in. I have a sick long way to go, but even that excites me. For the first time in a while I recognize that I’m going to grow, and learn, and prosper from the journey, while the destination is merely a direction in which I head.

Some Thoughts:

  1. Respect to Royal Pains for successfully depicting personality through how different doctors deal with medical procedures. The show centers on Hank Lawson, a medical MacGyver, and his HankMed Concierge medical practice. Hank is not the only doctor on staff. He has another doctor working with him named Dr. Sakani. Where Hank is brash and creative, Sakani is, well, Spock. The drama is light and scripting is average but every so often the show puts out a gem.
  2. Adding the interview element to the Novel Writing class. In the past I’ve force fed the classes writers and never actually let them find their own authors to talk to. I believe in the idea of a community of writers, so I will make sure my students access that community by interviewing a published author about their craft and their process.
  3. In addition to authors, students will be thinking deeply about characters. Each student will do a character analysis and character arc analysis on a different character from the same book and come together for a discussion on how they interact and the role that interaction plays in driving the story and their personal story arcs.
  4. I’m a dude, which means I tend to ignore instructions. At the same time I’m constantly telling my children and my students to read the instructions. Again, my hypocrisy goes only so far. I’m going to start reading the instructions. Maybe, one day, I’ll even read those ridiculous statements I agree to every time Apple updates their software. Last day of football tryouts for the middle school flag team and I’m hoping m 9 yr old shows something this time. He’s claiming to be more comfortable, but that has to carry over to action, aggressiveness, and speed.
  5. Johnny Football is grossly overrated. Quit acting like Jesus Shuttlesworth just showed up in a Browns uniform and let this kid learn the pro game.

1274. NanoGames

Listen deeply to the wind. Somewhere amidst the hum is the clatter and clack of 25,000+ keyboards hacking away at a great new novel. NanoWrimo is our ‘coming out party’ It is the month we’ve made belong to us, that speaks to us, that reminds us there is great beauty and courage in being a writer.

I was talking to one of my new favorite people the other day and she professed a bit of wonderment at the profound nature of my competitive spirit. I must admit, I’m no longer as competitive as I once was in terms of writing–in terms of anything really–and it effects my productive output. Nano brings out a bit more of that fire in me. It reminds me that I don’t have to be better than the writer standing beside me in order to be successful. In truth, I just need to be better than I’ve allowed myself to be in the past. In the sports parlance, I need to beat my own time and turn on that fire inside of me to create some of the best writing on the planet.

Some Thoughts:

  1. Recently a FB player was pranked so bad at a team lunch that he snapped, leading to his temporary leave due to ‘medical reasons’. I wonder what you could do to a 300+ lineman to make him snap like that.

1270. Reflections on a Monday Night

I’ve been doing quite a bit of reflecting as of late, and most of it in the wee hours of the morning when the world is asleep. I suppose this is the difference between writers with kids and writers on their own. Writers with kids are left to stalk the night in order to find a quiet moment, whereas writers on their own can find any moment to summon inspiration and put finger to keyboard. Let’s call that jealousy, shall we?

I’m long past the useless speculation of who I could have been without kids and a wife. Now it is more about how incomplete I would be were they not a part of my life. This in no way defends their behaviors or blatant unwillingness to let me put words to paper during waking hours. All of that is merely another set of obstacles I must overcome in order to achieve my goals. If I want something badly enough, I find a way to make it happen.

So, what do I want? NYT Best Selling Novels, flat screens in every possible crevice, time. Mostly time. I want to luxuriate in learning new things. I want to learn how to cook a five minute omelet and have the will, means, and tools to clean up the mess in under two minutes. I want my legs to stop acting like there’s glass in my bloodstream. I want to wake up feeling like my kids are learning something new and valuable everyday, and that the learning from yesterday sets the foundation for today’s learning, which sets the foundation for tomorrow. I want to know my children love me and each other and won’t slay anyone over a disagreement the way kids have been doing for centuries.

I want a breakfast that carries me longer than two hours. I want a gym I don’t feel inferior in. I want students who care about their learning and their craft more than I do.

I don’t know that I have the power to control all these things, but I know I need to accept responsibility and take control of the things I do hold sway over. I know I need to stop talking about doing that and get it done.

1269. 24 Hrs Removed

Down in the Canyon I watched a lot of people run rim to rim. There were men, women, young, old–every group conceivable moving through something wikipedia lazily refers to as a ‘strenuous’ hike with the speed of a marathoner. This is not to mention the dizzying heights involved here. I remember looking over the edge at one point and thinking that it would take me a good 15 seconds to hit the bottom. I could’ve been wrong about the numbers, but it felt right in my head the way running that trail both ways felt wrong in my head. It was in that moment I remembered my age and my utter lack of dedication to physical exercise.

24 hours removed from the rim I’m more self-reflective about the event. The hike was harder than I expected, but I expected a cake walk. That shows how much I knew and how little I researched before diving headlong into an adventure. The lesson to be learned here is: Be prepared. That’s something I learned from the Boy Scouts in the days before scout leaders were demolishing ancient rock formations (see if any scouts get invited to stonehenge). With a clearer head I can see that the challenge of the Canyon is less man vs. Nature as it is Man vs. Self. Perhaps in that sense most challenges are a matter of Man vs. Self as we all have to define our limitations and our willingness to commit to something to the point of surrendering other things.

The more I look around, the more I see evidence of that willingness to commit in all aspects of life. When you take a job, for example, you are saying that this time belongs to this singular pursuit and cannot be used for other purposes. When you commit to a religion you are saying ‘I commit to abide by these social mores’. Your level of commitment is a choice that you must make yourself, but it can be reflective of your success and even enjoyment in the rewards that commitment brings.

We five committed to a hike and the cost was a temporary pain and mental strain. The reward was knowledge of self. I know what my limitations are just a little bit more than I did a few days ago. Moreover, I know what it is going to take to expand them.

 

 

Some Thoughts:

  1. My freshman year of college was the first time I played any serious organized ball. I did baseball all the way up through my freshman year in H.S. and messed around with some club ball after that, but nothing prepared me for being handed a workout log and being told what weight I was expected to lift and be four weeks henceforth. Pain followed.  After a decade I forgot what it felt like to be in that much pain from a workout. I remember that now. The aches running through every part of my legs as a result of trying muscle clusters that haven’t felt action in 9 years. It may be another day before my body bounces back.

 

1213. Engaging Spaces

Let me start by acknowledging the frivolousness of this post. I am not complaining so much as consulting the web on an annoyance. see, I am blessed with a large living space. According to the paperwork my home is 4100 sq ft of interior space ( and like 7 sq ft of exterior, but that is another post). Having so much living space is what my wife refers to as a ‘first world problem’ but it is a problem nonetheless. I don’t believe in waste and we waste a great deal of this space by practically avoiding in on a daily basis. There are only a handful of areas in the house where the family actually spends time. We congregate in the downstairs family area and the kids haunt my office and the occasional closet. Outside of that, the rooms get little use. I’ve tried to create spaces that invite them to use the house, but it doesn’t work. So the problem is: how do you make the unused spaces more engaging?

When we moved into the house the first thing I did was divide the front room into a library and a sitting room. I expected those two spaces to get a lot of use, because three out of five of us are big readers. We use the space solely to collect reading material and then go elsewhere. Even the cat abandoned the library, preferring to stare out of the yard window in search of potential prey.

Beside the library is the sitting room, a quiet place to congregate, relax, and read. The eldest uses it for his daily school-mandated reading hour, which is the only use it gets. The lighting is good and there is seating here for 5 people spread across two couches. Still, only one person enjoys the space.

My office is a nightmare in progress. Files lay strewn haphazardly across the floor flanked by beyblades and the discarded body parts of Lego heroes. Torn paper and forgotten origami completes the picture of what was meant to be my fortress of solitude. I’d rather have the space to myself but invasion and destruction is a weekly occurrence.

When they aren’t destroying my personal space, they’re in the family room/living room where the big TV and the Xbox reside across from a couch that can seat about 9. This room is linked to the kitchen for easy food access and to the small open dining area, which we use when we pretend civility.

The loft and the bedrooms are upstairs. I recently converted one of the bedrooms into a study room and offered additional ‘allowance’ for those who used the space for homework and reading. No go. The space sits empty and wasted. The loft is home to the wii U and the homemade treehouse in which their gaming computer resides. A drum set in the far corner of the room completes the space. The only time this room sees action is when video games are being played. Given their predilection for all things x-box, this room sees the least amount of action.

So, there’s the problem. All of this amazing space wasted on a family that seems to want to be on top of each other most of the time. I’ve heard of worse problems, but this is the one I am supposed to solve.