1708. Reflections on a Thursday Morning

These last few weeks have offered me an amazing opportunity for self reflection. I had an opportunity to reflect on myself as a writer, father, and husband, allowing myself space to consider what needs to be done in order to be successful and grow in all phases of my life. The truth is that it comes down to the individual. A person either has it in them to be successful or they don’t. The ‘don’ts’ litter the planet, comprising the bulk of us–unmotivated drones moving through our lives with the motivation to just be happy enough or not to make too many waves or do anything that might put us and thus our skills and attributes in anyone’s spotlight. Others aim to be successful within their own lives and excel at something, be it as a mother, a friend, as scrapbooker, a fantastic employee, etc. I don’t think it matters what drives you so long as you remain driven and allow yourself to create the conditions that stoke that drive–that fire.

In other words, my idea of a fabulous life and a fabulous person is someone who doesn’t get in their own way. In retrospect, I haven’t been that guy in a very long time. I often let doubt and lack of motivation or laziness slither through me, backing me slowly away from the daily life I hope to lead. At one point it got so bad that I was no longer sire what kind of life I wanted, and became convinced that where I’d gotten to this point was enough–not just for now but forever–and I didn’t need to effort to get any further in my personal, emotional, and even professional development.

I’m learning to step away from that ledge. I’m learning to accept that once you accept that ‘this is it’ then the body and mind begin to wither and the heart and soul, once strong and full of lust and pride, shrivels and accepts even the smallest show of courage, or affection, or satisfaction as enough to get you through the day. A long time ago someone asked me, ‘what is enough for you?’ A year ago I would’ve said ‘A good TV show and a bag of chips’. That isn’t enough anymore. I’m reminding myself to want need more to get me through the day. I’m reminding myself each morning, afternoon, and night that we create the circumstances of our own happiness and perfection and that each of us has the fortitude within us to be more.

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