Month: March 2015

Revis!

I could really end the post there, perhaps tossing in a ‘thank you’ for John Idzik who cleared out the cap space to make this possible (it was possible last year). Revis signed a 70 million dollar contract with 39 of that number guaranteed. Way to go, Island. That is how you grab the league by the horns. Still, Revis wasn’t the only one wheeling and dealing on Day 1.

The Chip Kelly experiment continues to set the league ablaze. He traded the highly touted (and not great) Nick Foles to the Rams for Sam Bradford, a player who it is rumored Kelly really wants to run his offense. I’m more of the cynical sort as I assume it is difficult to run any offense from the IR. That’s exactly where ‘glass body’ Bradford will be after taking a few of those NFC East hits. The more I monitor that situation the more I recognize that this is about ego. Now we know that NFL players have ego. You have to have a great deal of self-confidence, bordering on the super hero level, in order to play tackle football at that level. Chop’em Chip has ego too. Unfortunately, he expects theirs to be the smallest in the room, so he plays moneyball of a sort and releases all of his big name talent near the end of their (oft-realistic) contracts in order to avoid them resigning bloated deals with the Eagles. He’s recruiting B-listers because he thinks that in a room full of betas everyone will buy in to the philosophy of the Alpha Dog. If you don’t, he boots you out in a public fashion. Ask McCoy, Maclin, Cole, et al who didn’t get to stay or didn’t get to come back.

I’ll end this by talking about the Seahawks. They added Jimmy Graham in exchange for Center Max Unger and a first-round pick in this year’s draft. Now on the surface this is an incredible deal for the Seahawks. They get one of the three most prolific TEs in the game and one of the two who isn’t a ‘system guy’. I believe Graham will be able to line up anywhere on that Seahawks offense and continue to be prolific. On the other side I believe the Saints were looking to run the ball a lot more and felt that the interior line position and the pick were enough to push them even more in the direction of that inside-outside game they’ve been looking for. Honestly, there are too many quality receivers on the team to have gotten the rock and grown with Graham still there.

More football is coming down the pipeline. The Giants made a subtle move that is sure to matter greatly and many more discussions to follow. For now, my ten minutes is up.

This is another one of those posts where I lament my red eyes and weary soul wondering when a break will be close enough to feel relevant. Of course a break–well needed–is coming soon, so I cannot really complain about that. Instead i’ll turn my tiny resevoir of mental energy to a strange coincidence:

On the day AZ Governor Ducey decided to defund my entire 10 community college system (one of the largest and most successful in the nation) he also passed legislation to create an office of the lieutenant governor. I cannot say how much the new position will cost AZ on a yearly basis, but I can say the 8.8 million dollar cut that basically results in no funding from the state for state-run MCCCD colleges is equally symbolic. This is another sign of where the ruling party wants the mone to go and that is not towards schools or learning of any sort.

Too bad, really. A higher educated workforce usually brings more jobs and prestige to a state. We just aren’t that state.

She asked, “Do you have to go to Walmart every day?” A more clever person would have responded with something witty; perhaps even something along the lines of “Sometimes I go to Target.” Instead I stood there dumfounded, wondering how accurate the comment/question was. The next day, in Walmart, I thought about more and I got a little upset. The comment scored bone deep. It made me consider my own consumption.

This isn’t really about Walmart. I cannot recall a day in recent history when I didn’t purchase something. Gas, food, something always seems to require me to break out my wallet. This is a reflection on the way I live—day to day with little foresight about my distant needs. I buy food for the next few days, gas when the little orange light flicks to life, snacks (desserts mostly) or coffee when the need strikes. Regardless of the dealer, I’m hooked on that consumption.

I cannot say where it all started. Maybe not having much as a kid led to me having little control as an adult. It’s an easy answer and a 100% cop out. I recognize that I can have self-control and largely don’t. I also recognize that there is some social programming at play here. I fall into the cycle of basic needs (bread, water, gas, milk, etc.) but beyond that a lot of the spending is about that feeling I get from bringing home the taste of new or the comfort of being able to apply money to a task like making dinner as opposed to the work of cooking it.

 

Back when I taught rehab I always said the first step is admitting you have a problem. This is me admitting I have a problem. Correcting it will go a long way to helping me find the balance in my life I’ve long sought.

Today I had the opportunity to watch two people I love very dearly become one team. I’m not talking Quidditch here. I’m talking about two people become lifelong partners in marriage. The wedding was a refreshing blast of love and happiness in a time that has been clouded by sadness and death. It was necessary and powerful and perfect in so many ways. The moment that held my heart most of all were the vows. The groom read a set of promises that were eloquent and deep and romantic. And then the bride said this wonderful man was the first person to ever love her for who she was at that moment and not who she was going to be or had the potential to be. In that moment my eyes grew wet and I remembered what it feels like to love yourself for who you are and not the person you have the potential to be.

In the space between those words I flashed between all her loves I’ve known and the people who’ve loved me and who I’ve loved and came back with an extremely short list of people who’ve ever loved me regardless—who’ve loved me without context, or pre-approval, or thought of who I can be or do for them, or what I can become. I don’t know that I can put myself on that list, and I’m the most important person on that list. I believe that if you can’t love yourself for who you are it is impossible to become who you intend to be.

Security blanket .com and other tales

 

Earlier in the day a friend brought up the topic of security blankets. I had one when I was a kid. It was a blue blanket meant for a full sized bed. When I was twenty my mom sent it along to me in a care package. I was surprised by how comfortable and right it felt to still have it fifteen years later. Now I’m about to be forty and I’ve given than old ratty blanket to the kids. Every once in a while I’ll curl up in it myself and reminisce about being young and feeling warm, safe, and comforted. Not everyone has a blankey, but most of us had a security blanket of some sort. They change over time. Mine changed. Security started to come in the form of electronic devices, but can cold metal and plastic really give you a sense of emotional comfort?

 

I don’t even go to the bathroom without technology anymore. Its become as much a part of me as the clothes I wear every day. The point of my blanket back in the day was to make me feel warm and safe. My kids feel warm and safe with the blanket, but it is hard to grasp how that could work for a kindle or another similar device. These things provide distraction, but the idea of the blanket is to make certain there is a feeling of safety and warmth and belonging. I’m not sure a digital security blanket would solve that problem.

 

Kids may need something to hold on to. They might also need distractions to keep them occupied in times and places where talking out of turn is bad. A device is good for that but seemingly bad for holding on tight and hugging. There is a purpose for everything, but not everything brings you the kind of security a kid needs.

Listening to a podcast on the origins of life I find myself thinking about life itself, the things I’ve accomplished and the possibility of more. It is no secret that I’ve hit a bit of a dip and a plateau, though not in that order. I came to a realization that I needed more out of my life. I need to eek out every bit of opportunity, intelligence, and advancement I can before I check out. In other words, I have to start remembering how to be ‘me’ and give a shit about the universe.

Caring means doing and researching and striving for understanding. This is, and the complexities that define human relationships are the basis of my fiction. This is also why reaching into the zeitgeist has been so difficult lately and has begun to reflect an inability to, in the fantastic, connect with the real.

Soon I’ll be headed back to NYC, and taking that opportunity to reconnect with what I find to be the world’d most important city (how could I not–I mean i’m from there). It’s been less than a year since I was in that hallowed space and that trip was not one in which my mind was in the right space to absorb the energy the city has to offer. I will do so this time. I will write free of obligation and reconnect with the soul of what I do.

Some Thoughts:

1. ISIS is destroying ancient ruins, burning people, and chucking gay dudes off of buildings. Can someone explain why every group in the middle east and beyond (including Israel) isn’t banding together ID4-like to wipe these creeps off the planet?
2. My first born officially decided to adopt the flash as his football persona/alter-ego. Gear soon to follow…
3. Speaking of football, Brandon Marshall is likely to be a Jet. I like the sound of that.
4. Thanks Neil DeGrasse Tyson et al for the best podcast ever. Bronx Science continues to represent.
5. Presently redesigning my bedroom and I’ve come to understand that home builders offer extreme large bedrooms for basically no purpose whatsoever. I have space for nuthin.

Remember the name Kiko Alonzo.

That and eight other names are linked to Chip Kelly from the Oregon days. Alonzo is a top notch LB and someone who, if healthy, can add a lot to a defensive scheme. How Kelly came to reacquire his college LB is  a bit of NFL gossip fodder. Alonzo was traded straight up for Shady McCoy–an elite NFL running back in the prime of his career. This led to an important question: Is Chop’em Chip Kelly crazy? I say yes–if you can call money ball crazy.

Consider Kelly’s history. He came into fame at Oregon by recruiting 3 star players with a lot of speed and putting them in a scheme that highlighted their talents. He coached as opposed to getting better mainly through recruitment. His scheme was so fast and unpredictable that few teams ever stopped him. I have doubts about how well that will continue to work in the NFL. From all I’m hearing he let McCoy go because the RB didn’t buy into the system. Kelly brought in yet another guy that does and seems to expect to replace McCoy through free agency or the draft. These days everyone thinks the RB is pretty easy to replace. The same can be said for the wideouts, as Kelly has failed to reign in any talent at the elite level save for Maclin who himself could be on the move.

I think Kelly believes in his system entirely. That system is based on a line and a smart QB. He has the line but not the QB. Maybe these moves are about making the space to get that QB in the draft. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him pick up more ducks along the way.

Yesterday my sleep-deprived brain to a stab at a very deep and meaningful post that resulted in little more than a possibly misleading introduction to the topic. My goal was to express an awareness of how differently I perceive education than the more vocal people in power. I’m a person that believes in truth vs. the creation of a myth that makes one look good. In other words, I still subscribe to the enlightenment principles that, in many ways, made western civilization possible. Instead it seems we are deepening into a religious society that is very much the mirror of the middle eastern societies we all too often profess to be unlike.

The key here is a lack of desire to pus ourselves–at least in the American diaspora–past the commercial materialism that holds us in place. The majority of Americans read at an eighth grade level–that is when they read at all. As a creative writing teacher I see about a third of my wanna be novelists start their first novel writing class having never completed a book. These are the people who want more and want to learn. The ones who don’t want more from an intellectual standpoint are the ones who represent the vast majority of the students I see and they just don’t care about the idea of learning purely for learning’s sake. If they’re going to learn anything there has to be a significant dollar figure, job, or opportunity at the end of it and I cannot blame them. This is the way we’ve cultured our society. We are creating a nation of zealots who follow the religion of capitalism with a dappling of christianity on top. As one christian think tank put it, “. . . God has given us the market process as the most powerful tool we have in a fallen world to serve each other by using our gifts.”

Perhaps in the end the real difference between us and a place like Iran is more than just power, size, and the ability to control the conversation. Instead the real difference might be how honest we are with ourselves about who we are. Over there, they seem to know exactly who they are and they own it. As a result they are villainized. Meanwhile, When Texas changed its official travel motto to ‘Texas: Its like a whole other country’ my mind flew to the socio-political make up of the state and it wasn’t a good thing. More and more the country Texas and many other parts of the U.S. seem like fails to resemble the U.S. I grew up loving.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Expect a waiver thursday because I have a lot to say about this latest trade of Shady McCoy and what that says about Chip Kelly. Foreshadow: It isn’t good and it has a lot to do with ego and moneyball.

When I check in with students about why they are in college they almost always talk about the job search and working towards a career. This is not isolated to community college. The majority of 4 year students I talk to are pursuing that singular goal. Perhaps this is me being an academic for once and worrying about the cause of education. When I see Scott Walker file to change the University of Wisconsin’s core philosophy from “Basic to every purpose of the system is the search for truth.” to “meet the state’s workforce needs.” It hammers home the fact that we are in a different reality from what I wish it was.

On the side of highway 347 leading away from Maricopa City a billboard reads ‘Pack Out Your Trigger Trash’. If not for being an avid consumer of newspapers and other local media, I don’t know that the term trigger trash would make a lot of sense to me. The term refers to the spent cartridges and other paraphernalia that are a result of people shooting off firearms in the desert. I have no problem with this and I also have no experience with this outside of AZ. I say this to reflect the basic truth that AZ is different from other parts of the states I’ve been. It feels like a state trying to be the south but trying to be LA at the same time. This is all to raise the point that the concept of America as a singular unit seems extremely dated, especially in light of the increased social interconnectivity brought to us through the internet. If, especially in the net age, we seem far more distant and diversified across the 50 states, perhaps we should go back to seeing America as a conglomeration of cultures all driven by a single goal (read: security through capitalism) as opposed to one nation and one voice.

This isn’t just about trigger trash. Today a student ‘slipped up’ in his presentation and complained that minorities shouldn’t receive any greater benefits than, and I am quoting here, “regular Americans.” That ‘I am a white male’ American default remains extremely problematic, especially given the shrinkage of the caucasian population percentage as compared to the American whole. Yet, many hold on to this vision as a fundamental part of their understanding of the American dream not to mention their push to come to America.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. The KFC popcorn chicken commercial that has kids complaining about their old chicken once tasting KFC is the best possible divertissement for not eating KFC.