Day: July 27, 2017

At times I am inclined to send my kids to Laos or Africa. They have family in the former, which makes it easier for them to slip into that world and recognize the situations present there. I think it is the best idea I can come up with in order to help the kids recognize that the drama they experience on a daily basis amounts to, well, nonsense.

This morning the boys got into an argument about Minecraft. More specifically, they were arguing about who was going to design some obscure section of a world they’d invented on creative mode. For the record, creative mode is the equivalent of a paintbrush. They click a button and have the ability to create whatever–unlike normal mode where they have to gain resources and (in some limited sense) earn their creations. Regardless of mode, the argument was about Minecraft. It joins a litany of arguments about Beyblade, computers, who is sitting where on the couch, etc. These are arguments about things that are extraneous parts of their reality. They are not core to the survival of my children.

The situation in Laos is different. There are chores that last the entire day. Play happens outdoors and not cross-legged in front of a big screen. Hard work is a way of life. I recognize that I can recreate these conditions to a certain extent here, and the trip to Laos would only mean I didn’t have to deal with them while they dealt with their new reality. In other words, it would be easier for me.

Perhaps the key is a middle ground. I need to crack down on these behaviors and the growing sense of entitlement and boredom that plagues the summer months. School will provide a structure that will help me do my part. Unfortunately with me working as well, they might not get all the structure and change and growth I desire.

There’s always Laos.

Some Thoughts:

1. I miss my love
2. I miss the beach

At times I wish I was a better anthropologist; that I could slip into different societies with the calm and practiced routine of a native. I’m not. I’m the guy on the beach in the bright blue dryfit, a stark contrast to the muted colors of the locals. Not an outcast but an outsider, unfamiliar with how to look and how to behave in the environment. There is good in that. On the one hand I maintain my sense of self, because I am always some muted form of me on these occasions. There is also the opportunity to learn, should I allow myself the time and space to sink in and do so.

This post comes from Pacific Beach. I’m sitting steps away from the ocean writing and observing. I’m drinking in the social order. I am relearning what is acceptable, what is expected, what is beautiful, and ugly, and wanted, and abhorred. I am only here for a few hours, which is not nearly enough time to become a native. It is enough time to sink into the idea of the people and to watch and to enjoy and to recognize the nexus of tourists and locals and daytrippers such as myself and start to tell the difference.

All of that is important to me as a writer and as a person in general. As a writer it is how I learn to sculpt worlds. As a person it helps me to recognize more about who I am, how I am seen, and how I see other people.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Overheard quote of the day, “I would want a pool so we wouldn’t have to do anything.” I get it. I want a pool for that exact reason. I want a non-digital activity for my kids that doesn’t require me to drive or do anything that takes away my own time. It used to feel selfish, but kids are selfish by nature and if you don’t carve out the opportunities for yourself you are going to get swept up in their universe.
2. I am grateful to be here with the woman I love.