It took me 42 years to really settle into the notion that I work best in the mornings. This blog is evidence of a mind preparing itself for the day as opposed to the unhinged ramblings of a man desperate for sleep. When I consider the accomplishments of my schoolmates I realize that this lack of self-awareness has really been the deciding factor in my failure to accomplish much of what I am capable of thus far in my life. There are two new truths that sprout from this one as branches from my olive tree. I am no longer capable of the magic I once was, and I still have a way to go before I am the writer I am capable of being and thus the human I am capable of being.
We all face diminished capacity at some point in our lives. I think about models who, with age, find solace in exercise and eventually plastic surgery to prolong their beauty. There is not an external fix for being a writer, though our capacity diminishes at a far slower pace. What becomes ultimately important is creating an ease of access to ideas and a regularity–a habit–with which you approach the craft. Stephen King wrote some of his best work after 60. I do not intend to wait that long. I cannot promise a schedule short of saying that I utterly expect to have a clean and set office space by week’s end. This lack of clutter ought to serve as an external extension of my internal workings.
In other words, I need to get my head straight and buckle down. The stories are there, if I can find the will to reach them.
Some Thoughts:
- Had the first major football meeting last night and a practice is happening tonight. That means football is happening at the youth level. This is going to be my first year coordinating the offense and it is happening at the 12u level where kids are going into school-level football. This is going to be quite the experience for us and I intend to learn a lot and enjoy the hell out of my final season as a coach.
- Always nice to get a check in the mail. I just got one for some past writing. It felt pretty special.
- I still miss my love. This has grown into a bit of a state of mind, really. There is a point in a relationship where you just want to be with that person constantly. I keep running up against that point.