It wasn’t too long ago that I felt there was little to be thankful for. I was thinking selfisly–equating not having any possibility to achieve the life I want with not having a life at all. I was not thankful. Today on Thanksgiving I want to be sure I am thankful for the many wonderful things in my life.
When it comes down to it, there are two friends in my life who are my family. There is my brother and my partner. He has been with me since High School and no matter how far apart we are and no matter what happens in the world, we are family always. I love him and I am both thankful and grateful to have him as a part of my life. My partner is my heart. While things are worlds away from what they should be, though I am so far removed from being able to see any kind of happy ending between us, I still know that she is my moon and my stars. The tides shift with the breath of her words and daylight breaks when I taste her lips. She is my best friend and I am grateful and thankful for that alone. She is also my partner, a double edged blade which can slice through my soul at will. In spite of the pain that colors my daily existence in this state, I am thankful for the opportunity to spend any moment with her. I am thankful most of all for her love and to share in that love with her.
I am thankful for my three boys. Each is as a flavor, different and surprising. I love how unique they are and how they feed off of each other. I am thankful for their love and the respect they (occasionally) afford me. I am thankful for their behaviors, because it could be far far worse. I am thankful for the time and space I have with them in order to share in and appreciate this love. I am thankful to watch them grow into wonderful young men.
Finally, I am thankful for myself. For my capacity to still love. For my willingness to swallow my ego in service of something I truly feel matters. I am thankful to still grasp on the the vestiges of great intelligence and to be able to apply that through words and through teaching. I am thankful that I found Buddhism and the words of Thich Nhat Hanh to help me through the troubled times. I am thankful for my continuing health. I am thankful of my choice to still be alive.