I’m in my office, catching some zen, and hanging out with my son’s cat. Just being in the space reminds me of more productive times, and encourages me to discover a mindset where that kind and breadth of production is not only possible but common. I think I fled from the room because it reminded me of the things I needed to do in order to be successful and the weight of all of it was more than I wanted to manage at the time. I still do not want to be in here. I’ve considered painting it or changing it in some other way in order to find a way to use the space again. I think the key is literally to stay in the space and face those demons that reside there.

Calling them demons gives them too much power. In truth, I’m talking about a disorganized desk, a pile of mail that needs to be read, and a row of books chosen to inform the life I crave, the classes I teach, and the writing I do. So, I need to just do it.

Some Thoughts:

  1. Having a loaded gun in the room only makes me feel safe if I trust the person holding the gun. That is where I stand on the gun issue. I am not against guns. I am against gun owners who subscribe to a very narrowly drawn sense of entitlement that always appears to speak to a type of protectionism that doesn’t include people who look like me, think like me, or even have my level of income in the us who deserve guns. I remain convinced that it is this self-same sense of entitlement which has school shootings becoming very trendy again.